MMC and now CP, ffs. This is shit.

[neverland11]

Just as the title says really. Had a MMC in August at nearly 11 weeks (empty sac), haemorrhaged at home, blue lighted into A&E and needed an emergency ERPC, all a bit traumatic.
Had a +ve on Thursday, tests got progressively darker, then started bleeding this morning like a normal period. Only 4ish weeks but I'm gutted. I am so thankful for my lovely 3yo DD but I feel so sad for her that we can't give her a sibling, she asks for one all the time. Had a MMC before her as well. I'm 25 and I feel like my piece of shit body just keeps failing me. It seems to come so easily to other people.
Hadn't even told my other half about the positive test yet as wanted to surprise him with good news. Ha.
One more MC and then we can have some tests I suppose. Just feeling very sorry for myself today.

Hello Neverland. I'm so sorry for your losses. I had two MC between my two DDs and have over a five year gap between them. I was also 42 when I had DD2.

I felt utterly devastated by both my MC and it took me a very long time to fell okay. Look after yourself. Try and ignore all the people who tell you about how easy it was for them - there are loads of us who haven't had an easy ride. I found talking about how I felt with friends who'd had similar problems really helped. Is there someone you can chat to?

Thank you for replying. My friends are generally pretty good (other than the one who, when I came out of hosp after my ERPC, told me all about how easily she'd conceived her 2). But no one else I know IRL has had a mc (let alone 3) so it's hard for them to really know what it's like. I was just feeling a bit more balanced after the first one and was so happy to get a positive test and now this has just thrown me again. This was also my last chance to have a sibling for DD before she turns 4, a much bigger age gap than I ever originally wanted. I'm lucky I suppose in that I'm finding it relatively easy to fall pregnant but tbh that's really not much use to me if I can't have a baby at the end of it!

I know exactly how you feel Neverland. I was desperate to have a sibling for DD1 by the time she was 3. It took forever to get pregnant the second time and after the 2 MC and numerous false alarms I knew I couldn't face the thought of another MC and then fell pregnant with DD2.

Turns out a five year gap has been great so far. DD1 at school so DD2 had lots of one on one time with me as a baby and they get on brilliantly and are a great wee team.

Oh, and I used to metaphorically poke in the eye anyone who went on about how easy it had been for them and how they had planned down to the last minute when they would have their kids. X

I had two MMCs and then had bleeding early in my next pregnancy, which I assumed to be another MMC. I was wrong though and it was a viable pregnancy. Just hoping this might be the case for you too?

Hi marmite, me with a name change. I've not bothered with another test or anything tbh as I just didn't see the point. I've basically had my normal period, admittedly they aren't terrible anyway but still, 3 days of normal bleeding. No way I'm still pregnant. I will probably do another test tomorrow just to get rid of my daft false hope but I just have to pull my socks up, put my big girl pants on (or take them off, har har) and try again. Thank you for the kind thoughts though!