IVF & miscarriage

[ranchgirl]

Hi all, just seeking advice (& solace)

Two rounds of IVF aged 40. 2nd cycle BFP (really high blood test result).
6 week scan showed empty sac.
7 week scan showed foetal pole & heartbeat plus another growing sac.
8 week scan to check 2nd sac showed we had lost both. No sign of 2nd sac and no growth on first baby or a heartbeat.
DH & I are utterly devastated and heartbroken.
In tomorrow for final confirmation scan.

I'm really just wondering for those unfortunate to have also lost a baby, what choices were you given about their remains? I can't stand the thought of it being treated as clinical waste and want to be able to treat it as the baby it was, no matter how young it may have been. Maybe cremated remains to bury in our garden?

I hope I can have a managed m/c so I'm not waiting any longer and can look forward to starting our next cycle.

So sorry you're going through this. I MCd last December at 6 weeks and there were no discernable remains, just lots of blood and lots of clots.

Hi all.. After our first IVF on the nhs we fell pregnant which was fab. Our first scan showed no fetal growth so they asked us to come back a few days later and we had the start of a fetal pole. They transferred us to early pregnancy unit and there followed serval scans over the next 10 weeks. At the last scan we had the sad news that we lost our baby. I had a D&C a few days later. Exactly 1 month after the D&C the hospital called with some very scary news. The pathology showed I had a partial molar pregnancy. What has really shocked us is how this could have happened as we had ICSI. Has anyone ever had the same issue ?

Sorry to hear your news ranchgirl. I too have been through IVF & it's brutal. I also think I am MC but that's a story for another time. I just wanted to give you my condolences

I'm so sorry you are going through this.

It may be worth asking the hospital about remains. I would say (fairly confidently) that there won't be enough to cremate and get ashes from. I say this as we were warned it would be hard to get ashes from remaking our dd2 who was born at 22 weeks. We got some but it was a tiny amount.

However, I have read on here about women choosing a medical management and feeling they were passing the sac. If that's possible then you could keep the sacs and bury them in a potted plant or something to remember your babies.

Thank you all.
So sorry cookie
X

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I had a missed miscarriage after my first ivf and had to have surgery as it was suspected molar, so they needed to carry out tests. My second miscarriage recently I miscarried naturally at home at 7 weeks and sadly there wasn't much in the way of remains. If you have surgical management I think it's unlikely you'll be able to have anything to bring home. I'm so sorry.

So sorry you're having to go through this. Just to say I had medical management and my Hospital takes all the babies under 20 weeks unless you ask otherwise (even if nothing discernible is found) are buried together in a coffin in a woodland plot.

Thank you all so much, its been so hard. It seems like there isn't a lot of support out there with regards to molar pregnancies. I am still being monitored so can't try just yet. We would like to plan our next round of private funded IVF so we have started visiting clinics in London.

If you don't have anything physical to bury, might it help to create a tribute/memory box and bury that? It might have something like your pregnancy test in it, or you can just write a note expressing everything you're feeling, a letter to the baby perhaps, and put it in a pretty box and bury that?

I'm so sorry for your loss.

That's a lovely idea Sheba, thanks.