When will I be fertile?

[Milkymooch]

Sincere apologies, I've posted this on both Chat and Conception too. I'm posting here because I've not had a single answer from either, so guessing I've posted in the wrong place?

Hiya, on Saturday I had some light pink spotting and knew in my heart I was miscarrying again. My bloods haven't doubled (only risen), and my scan showed nothing but a tiny dot that sonographers weren't sure if it was a sac or not and said it could be 'too early', however they didn't take into account that I got a positive test on 16th September so couldn't have been any less than 6 weeks at the time of the scan. I'm seeing them again Wednesday to confirm things.

People say you can be fertile from 2 weeks (maybe even 10 days), after you first started miscarrying. But I'm confused. Do I count this from when I started that slight pink spotting last Saturday? I'm still not bleeding properly, just the odd bits of blood here and there but it is constant.

Is it actually counted (CD1), from when you first started spotting, or is it when you start bleeding properly?

This is all so difficult and I had another miscarriage not so long ago (further gone), so it's as if trying again straight away is my only means of coping.

Thank you all

Hi milky. So sorry for your loss.

I totally understand the idea that you want to start trying again as soon as possible but for your health you really need to wait one cycle. You only know if the miscarriage is "complete" if you confirm it with a negative pregnancy test 2-3 weeks after the bleeding stops. There will still be traces of hormone in your system before then, and getting a negative test is the only way to me sure that no tissue was left behind (which wold mean you kept getting positive tests despite not being pg). If you start ttc right away you won't be able to be sure whether a positive test is good news or an indication that your health is in danger.

You'll get through this.

[Flowers]

Oops sorry it didn't do right there...

Hiya, thank you for replying! I was under the impression that you only needed to wait for a period for purposes of dating? I didn't know that but thank you

Sorry milky I read but was a bit confused by your post. It sounds like you need to see the sonographer again before you know what's happening. Six weeks can still be too early to see much. Sounds like you haven't had any proper bleeding? It's a horrible place to be but it's just not clear what is happening at present.

I think when people talk about conceiving after a miscarriage, they are talking about after having sustained bleeding (often the feeling of passing the sac). Even after this it may take some women weeks before they get a neg pregnancy test and the levels of hcg have dropped to nearly zero. At this point they know that there is no pregnancy tissue left. Then you can ttc again and be sure that any positive test is a new pregnancy and not any leftover tissue from the previous one.

I hope that makes sense and I'm sorry you're going through this

Thank you so much princesspond! I do agree that having a period before trying again will be helpful for those reasons you've mentioned, but also so I've mentally time to mourn properly.

To think I got a telling off from Netmums for posting in the miscarriage section for support in emotionally going through a possible new loss, because apparently there are lots of vulnerable woman and I'm not one of them because I don't know for sure!

Gosh can't believe nethuns were harsher than mumsnet . Just ignore them - it's the not knowing what's happening that's so gut wrenching.

When I had my mmc confirmed by scan I (initially) felt better because at least I knew rather than going through all the possibilities in my head

I really hope you'll be ok and your dates are a bit off - you could have implanted late and if you used a sensitive test you could have got a positive early on. But if the worst happens you'll likely need a little time to get over it physically and emotionally.

I understand the urge to try straight away and we didn't wait for a period (although it was 5 months after to conceive). However I did wait for a negative pregnancy test and I think that's key as mentioned above. Also you won't be able to have sex for probably 2 weeks after the miscarriage starts in full as you'll be raising the risk of infection if you do whilst bleeding (in any form).

I know it's an awful time - lots of hugs .

If any help at all, I waited for negative pregnancy test and bleeding to stop. I was advised to avoid trying to conceive again until after the negative test, although was told at my final scan that it was fine to have sex again at that point even though I was still bleeding. I guess I would just ask when you get scanned and see what advice they give you, and don't be afraid to ask them why they say that as I found it helped me to understand everything going on.