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[Hoskins1]

Hi everyone, I'm new to mumsnet and just wanted to share my experience for a bit of therapy! I am 41 and have just miscarried at 8 weeks although baby stopped growing at 7. I opted for natural miscarriage but after a week I asked for the op. Not needed as I miscarried the day before that was due to happen. I was surprised about the levels of pain, blood loss and clots but am glad things are settling now. We have our ds who is 2 and I am so grateful for him. I just feel petrified of trying again for fear of another miscarriage. I know I'm not alone in feeling like this but my age is another factor.

I'd be really grateful for any words of wisdom on the subject!

for you Hoskins. I've never been in your shoes and I can only imagine how awful it must have been for you. There are plenty of people on these boards who will have first hand experience and hopefully they'll be along soon to share their experiences and how to move forward.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I found out at 7 weeks then my baby had never really started growing. At first I felt horrific, but humans are remarkably resilient and I've managed to get on with life. I imagine your ds will help with that too. I'm trying again but trying to be a lot less stressed out about it this time - not going to test too early, not going to start planning too early. It's sad, but I think that's the only way I can cope with it x

I'm so sorry hoskins1. I suffered a mmc 3yrs ago, at the age of 40. I was numb after the scan showed no heartbeat, after having 2 normal healthy pregnancies, for ds1 and ds.

I went on to have ds2 last year, with no issues at all - lots of worry through the early weeks of course, and burst into tears at each scan, on sight of a healthy heartbeat. He is now a very healthy and happy 11 month old, much loved by his brother and sister.

Be kind to yourself and take it easy. I had never realised how devastating a miscarriage could be. Allow yourself time to grieve for your little bean.

I read a similar thread a couple of months ago, and one of the posters said something so beautiful. She knew her baby wasn't ready to be born yet, so it's soul was reabsorbed into her body until it was ready to join this world. Something like that, but she put it much more eloquently!

Thanks everyone. Life can be so cruel and I think taking things day by day is good advice, as is being kind to ourselves. I'm surprised that I don't feel more emotional than I do, but I guess it's early days. daisydairymple, that's a lovely sentiment and concept. These pages are a huge support and I really value your kind words.

I'm so sorry for your loss Hoskins. I'm going through similar so understand how devastating it all is. You've come to the right place as the people on here are so kind and supportive.

After having a couple of straightforward pregnancies in my early 30s, i've just miscarried our 3rd child and can't stop blaming my age (near 40) but have to stop doing this as it can happen to any woman at any age. I too don't know if I could go through this again but it's only been 4 weeks so I know I need some time for hormones to settle down.

I don't have many words of wisdom but wish you luck with whatever you decide to do. Most women I know that have miscarried have gone on to have successfull pregnancies soon after and I hope you do too. X