feeling sorry for myself - sensitive and very indulgent.

[Trooperslane]

Shite year.

DM died (a relief, so very, very sick).

A surprise natural pregnancy after many years of unexplained infertility. Bad 12 week scan and baby died a few weeks later. Had to labour. Held the wee one, told them I loved them. (dh in pieces and can't refer to them as a baby - deliberately not revealing sex as I'm the only one who knows).

DM and DDAD died on the same day years apart and dbaby in the same week a year after DM. And today I would have had my first day of maternity leave.

Instead I'm having an early night and a big glass of wine. Not looking for replies, just feels good to get it out.

Cheers DC2, sleep tight. Love you. Xxxx and love you DD, you've got us through X

for you. You've got through this year and the next one can only be better.

Thank you fdt. X

Not indulgent in the slightest. So sorry to hear you've had such a horrid time. Enjoy your

. Look after yourself. V sad.

Be kind to yourself. I'm sorry for your losses.

Thanks guys.

Another toast to my wee one tonight. Been a tough day at work.

A not close colleague has invited me to her maternity leaving lunch. Which is the same day as my due date, ffs.

Needless to say, I'm working from home that day crying into my tea.

Tomorrow's another day and all that and cheers for the messages. X

what an awful year for you and those close to you. Take it one day at a time and breathe deeply. Xxx

Thanks Quiet.

Just had a big deep breath and feel lighter - thanks for the suggestion.

I'm a tough old bird but I'd like a break, please thank you please

Indulgent be damned, goodness knows you've had the bummer of a year.
You need to be kind to yourself Trooper, and give yourself time to grieve and heal.
and unMNsy hug x

I love mumsnet. Thanks guys. X

You have every right to be indulgent, you've had a hideous time and need to grieve Sometimes it just feels better to be able to tell people

What an awful year you've had. I'd be in bits. All you can do is keep going on - I know it's really tough. I'm so glad you've got your lovely daughter and your husband to help you through.

to you.

God that's tough about your colleague. What are the chances.

It must seem like you're getting a bit of a kicking right now. You don't need to tell us you're tough- we can see that! You've come through a lot this year and still being an awesome parent to your DD.

I was thinking that FDT, but there have been so many weird ones (and I'm not at all woo or religious).

DM died at 12.45am on the same day DDad died, 7 years apart.

One year on and we loose the baby in that same week... If it hadn't happened to me I'd have thought it was the plot of a bad daytime ITV3 Who will love my children/hand on the window type shite movie, but unfortunately it's my life!

I am tough and strong but kinda sick of being the strong one all the time, though I wouldn't wish this last year (or infertility, or miscarriage) on my worst enemy.