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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

Pregnant after rMC

10 replies

AllThereIs · 28/09/2015 16:46

I had a scan today and saw a real, living thing in there after suffering 3 previous losses. However, I still have no confidence in my bodies ability to do this. I thought I would calm down and be more positive after today but I still have the same crippling fear and negative thoughts.

Does anyone have any coping mechanisms? Or do I just need to accept the next few months are going to be unbearable.

I know I should be ecstatic and rejoicing but there is nothing but overwhelming anxiety.

OP posts:

chelle792 · 28/09/2015 16:50

I had a miscarriage at 11 weeks. Am not pregnant yet but just wanted to say your feelings are normal. I think I might be a wreck when I get pregnant again.

My feelings on the matter - it's my job to look after myself - eat right, sleep as well as I can and gently exercise. It's babies job to grown him/herself. I must admit, I'm still a bit pissed off that my baby didn't do the one thing it was supposed to do and grow itself.

Your body knows what to do, this is babies responsibility. Your baby can do this, have faith in him/her, trust him (this is meant in the most comforting way possible!!)

The fact that you've seen a heartbeat is really good news and a positive sign

caza25 · 28/09/2015 21:12

When I got pregnant after 2 mc, I was a wreck. I feared that I was going to mc again and sadly I did. But when I did, I realised one thing. Being worried won't stop what will happen. I know it is hard but be positive and believe in yourself and your baby. Good luck, keep believing!

limon · 03/10/2015 07:54

I had my daughter after three miscarriages. its hard! I did a lot of meditation which really helped.

Whoknewitcouldbeso · 03/10/2015 08:01

Congratulations

Are you part of the recurrent miscarriage Facebook group Allthereis? The ladies on there are amazing and the support is overwhelming.

I'm 21 weeks pregnant currently, had three miscarriages and I'm sorry to say I still don't think I will be having a baby at the end of it. I read stories of second and third tri losses and just feel I will fall into the terrible stats again. All you can do is take it a day at a time, lean on your support system and pray to every deity that exists xxxx

I wish you all the luck in the world and h

Whoknewitcouldbeso · 03/10/2015 08:02

and hope you can enjoy your pregnancy at some point.

Original poster

AllThereIs · 04/10/2015 08:46

That is exactly it whoknew, the MW at the EPU went through the stats at my stage and said it was "very likely" this pregnancy would reach term", but, BUT, someone has to be the unlucky one and I think that's me. Why would it not be?

I was on the FB group and then came off as I was obsessing on the sadder stories. The ladies are all fabulous and have such a vast knowledge, along with amazing strength but I read what others were going through and would focus only on the negatives and think that'll be me tomorrow/next week, I was ignoring that there are happy outcomes for rMC sufferers and driving myself to distraction.

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Whoknewitcouldbeso · 04/10/2015 09:19

I did the same. I was panicking everyone and everyone was panicking me. I wish I was stronger and could just man up and accept I have no control over the outcome so may as we'll just enjoy it while I can. How far along are you now, I can't remember?

Original poster

AllThereIs · 04/10/2015 09:29

I'm 11+3 today. You've had 10 more weeks of anxiety than I have and can still write in comprehensible sentences...I will take hope from that.

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Whoknewitcouldbeso · 04/10/2015 10:23

Yes but I think the stage you're going through now is one of the worst. Was your scan the 12 week one, have you elected to have the Harmony done? I thought having all the tests come back good would help my anxiety, but it didn't. The thing that has helped is feeling the baby move a lot and of course that only happens as you get further along.

Are you part of any antenatal group at all? The only way I'm coping is just to keep my head down and plough through it. My bump is still pretty compact so no one really knows and I haven't talked about it. My inlaws don't know, my extended family don't know, it's quite funny really. At some point (I hope) a baby will appear and I think quite a few people are going to think I nicked it

Original poster

AllThereIs · 04/10/2015 13:53

I've everything crossed for you that you get your bundle in 19 weeks. You're more than half way!!

I've blobbed already so am getting some knowing glances.

I'm going to follow your mantra, keep my head down and get on with it. I have my official 12 week scan next week, a day at a time until then.

Thank you for listening and sharing.

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