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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Small foetus and bleeding - crying, blubbering mess!

17 replies

Sugarplumbs · 23/09/2015 11:08

I'm 8 weeks pregnant; my first pregnancy. I have Been having some brown discharge for a few weeks intermittently and then two days ago (Monday) I started bleeding fresh red blood and passed a small clot. Booked into epac for a scan yesterday morning (Tuesday) and had a trans vaginal scan. The sonographer asked if me if I was sure of my dates and then told me the foetus was measuring only 6 weeks and they couldn't find a heartbeat. Options are i either have my dates wrong or my foetus stopped growing at 6 weeks. I'm sure of my dates, but I've been booked in for a scan in two weeks (6 October). We are devastated. Since yesterday I've had some moderate bleeding and I'm now passing larger clots. I've not had any cramping but the bleeding is getting heavier. We're accepting that it's a miscarriage, but there's this tiny tiny part of me that can't help but hope that the next scan will show a bigger foetus and a heartbeat! I know it's foolish and I'm setting myself up for a fall, but I feel so helpless. It is so terrible to go to the toilet and see all the clots. I keep trawling message boards for information and now keep expecting to pass a sac or see a tiny kidney bean shaped foetus.

Am I stupid to hope? Have I definitely miscarried? What will happen at the next scan? Any advice so greatly appreciated.

OP posts:
SirChenjin · 23/09/2015 11:18

You're not stupid to hope - but it's not looking very good, sadly Sad. I had something similar a few years ago, although didn't miscarry until a week or so after the scan and then passed the complete, whole sac which meant I didn't have to go back for another scan. I think the next scan will just check to see what is still there.

I'm so, so sorry. It's just a very sad time, and nothing anyone can say will make it any better for you at the moment. Just be very gentle on yourself, and take as long as you need to come to terms with it all - don't feel you 'should' be doing anything you don't want to do Flowers

Sugarplumbs · 23/09/2015 14:47

Thank you for relying and for your kind words. I never thought I'd feel like I'd lost so much at only 8 weeks....

OP posts:
TillITookAnArrowToTheKnee · 23/09/2015 14:50

Flowers I had a MC last December at 5/6 weeks, and I was really upset too, and felt quite embarrassed about being so upset over 'just a 5/6 week pregnancy' BUT as my Gran said - as soon as that test is + then that is a baby to us, regardless of gestation, it is an instant bond. Get lots of rest and keep posting if it helps.

ginmakesitallok · 23/09/2015 14:54

Hope is never a bad thing. I've had 2 mcs at 7 and 11 weeks, before dd2 arrived, they were bother devastating. Be kind to yourself.

knaffedoff · 23/09/2015 14:58

It's ok to be beyond sad, this was your baby and held your dreams for the future. I recall deeply my miscarriage which occurred on 4th August 2007, I will never get over the loss of my first child but I do live with it now and life with my subsequent children is happy.

babymouse · 23/09/2015 14:59

Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.

Take care of yourself op. I'm an eternal optimist too. No point in borrowing trouble.

Battleshiphips2 · 23/09/2015 15:02

You're never stupid to hope. I had a miscarriage over 8 yrs ago. Went for my scan with a sinking heart and was told there was another embryo in there. He's now my 8 yr old ds. I had another miscarriage last year, feeling loss is normal. I cried so much. It takes a while but you do get through it. It's just so horrible initially. As a pp said as soon as you get that + it's your baby. Take it easy and look after yourself. Flowers

WhingyNinja · 23/09/2015 15:04

Nothing to add to the lovely responses from PP but wanted to say I'm so sorry you're going through this Flowers

Sugarplumbs · 23/09/2015 17:02

Thank you all so much for your kind responses.

Awfully, I've just passed the gestational sac. I had a massive gush and it just passed. I'm sorry if tmi, but I can see the little foetus that would have been my baby inside it. I am absolutely distraught. I can't bring myself to flush it....

OP posts:
babymouse · 23/09/2015 17:07

I'm so sorry. Flowers

Do you have anyone that can be with you?

Nonnainglese · 23/09/2015 17:16

Oh sweetheart, how I wish words could comfort you. It's incredibly sad and hard, I've been there too.

Can you call someone to be there? Is your partner around?

Flowers and ((hug))

SirChenjin · 23/09/2015 17:19

Oh no....I'm so sorry. Do you have someone you can call on to be with you? We buried ours in a little box - like you I couldn't face flushing it. Don't rush to do anything...

Big hugs Flowers

Battleshiphips2 · 23/09/2015 17:27

Oh no so sorry sugar. It might help if you could bury rather than flush I know lots who have done this including myself. Hope you have someone with you in RL to support you. Try to take it easy, your likely to feel very emotional for a while. Flowers

knaffedoff · 24/09/2015 22:44

I am so very sorry x

Sugarplumbs · 25/09/2015 17:25

Thanks all for your messages. They really helped. Husband came home just in time. It's so strange to go from pregnant and have all these exciting plans, to not pregnant in nearly no time at all.... I don't feel quite whole.

OP posts:
SirChenjin · 25/09/2015 18:03

You won't for a while yet - miscarriage and the loss of your baby, even at an early stage, can be devastating. Take your time to grieve and come to terms with it - there's no right or wrong way to do anything at the moment, just do what feels right for you both.

APlaceOnTheCouch · 25/09/2015 18:06

I'm so sorry. Be gentle with yourself Flowers

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