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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Original poster

I just want my baby back

10 replies

chelle792 · 27/08/2015 14:29

I'm 10 +4 today and yesterday received the news that my baby has no heart beat. I've basically been sent home to miscarry.

It's just not fair. I want my baby back. I would have been 21 weeks at my wedding and she would have been in my arms in march.

The cramping is starting but I've only had a little brown spotting.

I wish this wasn't happening. We are both so gutted. She was such a wanted and loved baby

OP posts:
Sophia1984 · 27/08/2015 15:35

Hi Chelle. So sorry to hear your news. I just found out today that even though I thought I was 7 weeks pregnant, they can only see a tiny dot on the ultrasound.

It's so hard thinking about the new few months when you had stuff planned out, but we will get through it. It's been helping me a bit to think that this baby's soul has just been reabsorbed into my body and will join us sometime in the future. I'm not a religious person at all, but it's helping me to still think of 'her' as there, but just not ready for this pregnancy.

Sending you lots of love x

Original poster
chelle792 · 27/08/2015 15:42

Sophia, that's amazing what you say about her soul. I feel the same. We have a really busy six months coming up and I'm thinking baby came and thought 'sod that, I'll come back in six months'
I trust that she will be back. She wasn't ready yet but I am so so ready for her.

OP posts:
Diggum · 27/08/2015 15:47

Sophia your post has brought a tear to my eye. What a beautiful thought.

Hugs to you Chelle and you Sophia. What's for you won't pass you by x

Sophia1984 · 27/08/2015 15:54

Thanks :-) I'm glad it helps. We're going through a stressful period too, and ideally wouldn't have fallen pregnant this early. It feels like my body maybe just knew I couldn't handle this on top of everything else xx

polkadotdelight · 27/08/2015 16:01

Oh bless you, it's horrible and you are not alone. 10 weeks may be considered 'early' by the medical profession but it's all the hopes and dreams that you have had for your baby since that positive test. I remember feeling so empty afterwards, I couldnt articulate it to DH but I just felt so empty. She will come back to you.

Newlywed56 · 27/08/2015 16:56

i am so sorry for your loss, Flowers

Original poster
chelle792 · 27/08/2015 18:56

Polka, you're right, it's the emptiness. The loss of hope and loss of future. Not forever but the future for march now has a big hole.

OH said we will go and do something special for baby on her due date.

Baby is still securely tucked inside me at the moment and I'm not yet ready to let her go. I just want her with me for one more day.

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Original poster
chelle792 · 27/08/2015 18:56

I know she has no heartbeat but waiting to lose your baby is just awful

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daisydalrymple · 27/08/2015 19:07

Oh bless you, it does heal, but you never forget. Dc3 will be 1 in October, but I was just saying earlier the baby of our mmc would be 3 this year. Sophia, also brought a tear to my eye with your lovely thought x the first Christmas after the mmc, I bought a special bauble for the tree and that's the one that goes on first now. I also have a special moment and cake on the due date. best wishes to you all and positive bfps soon xx

Original poster
chelle792 · 28/08/2015 05:18

Thanks daisy. For me, I think the worst physically is over now. It hurts so badly to see OH in so much pain. He's devastated

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