MMC advised on Friday - questions, can anyone help?

[HollyJenni]

I had my scan on Friday that determined our baby had stopped growing, I would have been 8 weeks but the CRL was 2mm at the 2nd scan and no heartbeat.
I was given three leaflets and told to think about it and call if I had questions.
I went home and was quite adamant that I wanted the surgery as was scared for it to happen naturally.
However at about 7pm I started cramping and visited the toilet to find blood on the tissue. Since then it has been like a period, not even a heavy one. I was woken up at 3am to what can only be described as the worst cramp I have ever experienced to the point where I was doubled over and wanted to cry.
As I was told on Friday that the baby had shrunk, I'm guessing I won't see my baby as was so small anyway. But what can I expect? I have passed a few small clots but nothing major at the minute.
I'm just worried that because there hasn't been a lot, does that mean that it's not progressing as it should? I feel like the lady at the hospital just wanted me gone and found her to be quite cruel and cold.
All k keep thinking is that I will never find out if I was having a boy or a girl, what they would look like and sound like? But right now I am just faced with cramps and what looks like a period.
Can someone please give me some advice and reassurance?
Xxxx

So sorry for your loss.

I'm sorry I don't know exactly what you can expect. I do know that sometimes when things progress "naturally" like this you sometimes do need surgery (possibly just minor under local anaesthetic) if not everything cones out. You will still get positive pg test sticks if there is any material left in your uterus so it's not all over till you get a negative test (could be 2-3 weeks after you stop bleeding). If you keep bleeding for weeks or still get positive tests you still need treatment.

Aside from that practical stuff - take care of yourself. Give yourself time and space to grieve/recover/whatever you need. Take time off work - your gp can sign you off.

You will be OK.

Hi Holly I'm so sorry you are going through this, MMC is a cruel beast. My miscarriages have been at 9-10 weeks and have involved a few hours of heavy bleeding and very painful cramps ( like mini labour ) until I passed the sac, after which it calmed down. I haven't always been able to identify it at that stage, so if it measures significantly less than 8 wk size you probably won't see anything to worry about. I've also seen plenty of people on here with a completed MC saying it wasn't significantly worse than a period, so there is a complete spectrum of experiences. It's not unusual for the bleeding to be a bit stop-start. Take some ibuprofen and/or paracetamol regularly to take the edge off the pain. You only need to be concerned and seek advice if you have bleeding heavy enough to fill a maxi pad in less than an hour or you feel unwell. Do you have a partner or friend at home to keep an eye on you? Best not to be alone just in case you need their help, or to be taken in to be checked over.
IME coming to terms with the emotional loss and the wondering over the questions you posted comes later and takes much longer than the physical process. Be very kind to yourself, it's ok to grieve.