Does anyone else just feel like screaming after having a miscarriage?

[littlegizmo]

Today I had the 2nd scan to confirm what I already knew - I've lost my baby.

I'm trying to get my head around this and am v lucky to have an amazingly wonderful supportive husband. BUT I can't kick the feeling that I just want to go into the middle of the garden and stand there and scream. Is this a normal thing - I feel a bit like I'm going doolally!!

Yep. And occasionally now still 5.5 years down the line. Scream at the bloody agony and unfairness of it. Scream at what a fucking brilliant mum I would have been and why me.
Scream, cry, do whatever you need to get it out. It fucking hurts. Then let it go before it eats you up, try not to murder people who tell you it happened for a reason and concentrate on looking forwards ( it doesn't mean you ever forget).
Ive gone on to have 2 babies since and the what ifs are balanced by the wonderful little people they are turning out to be.

Thanks Mrsnoon - that's comforting to hear. I feel totally out of control right now. I guess that's normal but it's so scary. Why oh why is it not more common knowledge how shit miscarriage is? !

Because nobody wants to talk about it before it happens "just in case/tempting fate" or whatever, when it's actually happening because its sooo awful (and I actually felt embarrassed at the time) then afterwards you don't want to scare other pregnant women by telling them how bad it was.
It will be ok, not the same but a new ok.

So sorry littlegizmo, even when you know it already, it's still terrible to have it confirmed.

Wanting to scream totally normal, and if you can find space to indulge the feeling do. Everything mrsnoon said really.

Miscarriage is f*ing awful and should be talked about far more openly and not brushed off as 'losing a pregnancy'.

A new ok - I like that ... X

I did scream and collapsed after my third. I really thought that one was going to make it, hence I was so shocked and devastated to be yd the bad news at my 12 week scan.

I'm about to have my 12 week scan with my subsequent pregnancy next week and I feel tearful and like I have PTSD. if it's bad news again
I don't know how I'm going to cope if I'm honest.

Really hope its good news for you this time sebsmummy1.

Sebsmummy - I am keeping everything crossed for you that it is good news. X

I lost it with DH when he decided to try out some really stinky tile paint.

You get the massive hormonal crash without anything (or anyone) lovely to show for it. Go and have that scream

Sebsmummy for you too. Hoping it's good news.

Again sebsmummy and really hope its all ok at the scan xxx

And littlegizmo yes to screaming..its such an awful thing to go through xxx

Thanks girls, sorry didn't mean to be all dramatic on the thread last night, just meant to say that screaming is ok, often therapeutic!!

As a teenager having typical teenage angst, me and Mum used to take the dog for a walk and sometimes I would stand in the middle of the field and just scream at the top of my voice. We were far away to not worry anyone and it really did help!!

Sorry littlegizmo screaming helps a bit, a tantrum helps a bit, crying helps a bit, talking helps a bit, MN helps a bit, ice cream helps QUITE a bit - but nothing will fix it just take it a day at a time and do whatever it is you feel like you need to (maybe within the confines of what's legal if you can help it!).

It is generally a shit time I'm in the middle of one right now with my first pregnancy.

Oh sebsmummy to have to go through this 3 times

Really really hope you have good news next week and that at this moment your little bean is a bouncing and happy one

I am so sorry to hear about all your losses. Truly. I cant bear to think about how much sadness we are all feeling....

In terms of screaming....? I miscarried last week. Ghastly experience.

My neighbours made the mistake of olaying music loudly yesterday afternoon. I charged into the street, stood beneath their window and shouted and screamed up at them like a crazy woman. Seriously let rip.

Might have overeactes somewhat...but my god it felt good.

And they turned their music down.....