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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Original poster

Missed Miscarriage - booked in for 'evacuation' on Tuesday???

28 replies

Pupness · 09/11/2006 20:59

Hi Mumsnet, We have just been told that at 12 weeks there is no heartbeat. Completely devastated. We are booked in for the evacuation procedure on Tuesday assuming that it hasn't happened naturally by then. Has anybody else been in this situation. I have no idea what to expect and I am constantly on edge not knowing if and when I may naturally miscarry. Constant tummy ache and no sleep - can anyone help.x

OP posts:
SpeckledHen · 09/11/2006 21:05

So sorry Pupness. I have had an evac but I was bleeding anyway and I was 8 weeks. Lots of loveehon!

Original poster
Pupness · 09/11/2006 21:07

Hi - what was it like? I have never had a General anasthetic! Many thanks hon

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poppynboo · 09/11/2006 21:07

Hi Pupness, I'm really sorry to hear about how things have gone. I've been in the same situation a few times. Had a D and C at 16 weeks and 12 weeks.
What happened to me was that I was admitted, walked down to theatre, woke up in the post op room with no pain (they give you pain killers before you wake up). Later on that night it was like bad period pain, some bleeding which stopped after a day or so and I was discharged the next day.

The op's not the thing that was the issue, it was losing our child. They offer bereavement counselling and its well worth thinking about.

My heart goes out to you, I still cry when I think of my lost ones.

Hope this helps

foundintranslation · 09/11/2006 21:11

I'm very, very sorry, Pupness.

I have had two D&Cs due to miscarriages - the process is very similar to ERPC in scale. The anaesthetic is a light one, you are under immediately and you wake up after 45 mins or so (procedure takes about 15 mins I think?). For me, the process was painless and the anaesthetic didn't leave any wooziness afterwards.

Be kind to yourself and accept whatever you feel over the next few days and weeks as normal and part of your individual grieving process.
Thinking of you.

aaronsmummy · 09/11/2006 21:13

Happened to me twice, the op is not a major thing, just has to be got through, it's the feelings after. My first I had to wait like you for a few days and I kept thinking they had got it wrong, which they hadn't. My second I went private and had the evac the same night and a nurse sat with me and held me as I cried all through the night. It was like a heavy period after. Terrible situation to be in, my heart goes out to you. I have had 2 babies since.

Original poster
Pupness · 09/11/2006 21:14

Thanks Poppy - they have said that I am to be there at 8 am and will be home by 1pm. I do not want to stay overnight but will get prepared for the aftermath. It is just constantly in my mind about what I might have done. The baby died at 7 weeks and I find it hard to deal with the fact for 5 weeks I have been carrying this little person - not sure how to put it. I feel so sorry.

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aaronsmummy · 09/11/2006 21:18

You have done nothing wrong at all, it just wasnt right. It is NOT your fault. xxx

poppynboo · 09/11/2006 21:22

You're not alone Pupness.

I blamed myself for the first one on the basis I had a pint of cider. I kept it pretty much to myself (including from dh) and punished myself by not allowing myself to drink alcohol for a year. It doesn't sound extreme out loud, but I love drinking and it was the punishment aspect that, on reflection, was so cruel. They say that no-one can hurt you like you hurt yourself, luckily I did end up getting some councelling and she was excellent. She showed me that I was trying to punish myself for something that was well beyond my control and that I had pushed away my dh by not sharing.

I've gone on to have the most beautiful daughter in the whole world. She's 12 weeks old today and everytime I wake up and see her the world makes sense.

Hang in there, things will get better.

Original poster
Pupness · 09/11/2006 21:22

Thanks AM - I appreciate all the advice. I have a beautiful DS - so I am so lucky. Just feeling completely upside down while trying to maintain a brave face for the little man. Just need a good night sleep. xxx

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catinthehat · 09/11/2006 21:36

Pupness - so sad for you, its really awful if the thought never really occurred to you and you are unprepared. Look after yourself in the next few weeks/months and don't deny yourself anything - tears, treats, lots of sleep, whatever gets you through.
Poppynboo - really sorry, your story made me

poppynboo · 09/11/2006 22:06

Don't be sad.It may have taken 5 pregnancies but dd is here and wonderful!

catinthehat · 09/11/2006 22:21

Yes indeed - kind wishes to dd

candygirl · 09/11/2006 22:54

hi pupness, im so sorry to hear your news. i have had 8 m/c 6 of which i had evac done ,please dont stress yourself anymore than you need to, the procedure is pain free and infact my 1st m/c was the first time i had had a anasthetic, when i woke up it felt like i had just had the most relaxed sleep of my life.afterwards i have never had more than a small amount of blood for a couple of hours,then that was it .and maybe a slight belly ache if that.its quite mad really as you dont feel like youve had anything done ,but they,ve just taken away something so important to you.you make sure you look after yourself and deal with it the way you need to as wot you are going through is a very emotional thing and if you dont deal with it now it may get you later.talk,cry,shout wotever you need to do do it ! im sorry for your lost once again and hope you are getting all the support you need .take care !

StrangeTown · 09/11/2006 23:01

I'm so sorry Pupness and sorry that you have to wait for the op. I hope you manage to get through the weekend OK, I'm sure it will be hard emotionally, so just do whatever you need to do. I had the same situation, no heartbeat at 12 weeks but had the ERPC straight away. As others have said the op itself is fine, nothing to worry about as a procedure. I assume you couldn't have the op sooner? I know it's different for everyone, but I very much wanted have the ERPC quickly, to draw a line under things physically at least.

lesley1417 · 09/11/2006 23:04

hi evacuation procedure is normally quick. you might be given some vaginal tabletsprior to this-sometimes they give some cramps.if anything were to happen before evac you would probably get cramps and/or bleeding .cramps are ok to have but phone your hospital if you get to the stage where the pain is toomuch.the same goes for bleeding .alittle period type bleeding is ok but heavy bleeding is not.hope this helps.

evenhope · 10/11/2006 17:59

hi Pupness I have had this twice. The first time I was 11 weeks. They said I had to wait 2 weeks to be rescanned (no idea why- it was obvious everything had gone wrong) but I started bleeding heavily about 4 days later and went to A&E and was admitted straightaway. As the others have said the op is no problem. You go to sleep straightaway then feel OK when you wake up, and go home a few hours later when they are sure you are OK.

My second one was at 7 weeks. I had a slight reaction to the anaesthetic and felt a bit woozy when I woke up so they kept me in overnight.

No after effects from either, and I was pregnant again 4 mths later.

Original poster
Pupness · 12/11/2006 21:53

Got back from hospital late last night after a bit of a time of it, hence why I haven't responded to all your kind words. On Thursday night I was bleeding very heavily and could tell that the miscarriage process had started to happen by itself. I initially was glad to be at home, but guessed that I hadn't quite lost everything. Friday started ok but by lunch time I had started to have very painful cramps. In a very short time they became unbearable and my poor husband made the decision that getting in the car was just not an option. It was exactly like very strong contractions every minute. The ambulance arrived and I just remember being given gas and air, not something I've ever had before, while curled on the bedroom floor. It was awful really, I hate fuss but I was audibly in pain while trying to apologise. They took me to A&E and I was kept on the G&A until the doctor examined me. There was a blockage which they removed and within about 20 minutes the contractions had stopped and I could lie flat. They then transferred me to St Helier and I waited 24 hours for a D&C, which as you have all said was bearable. I just wish they had given that procedure on the Wednesday and not scheduled me for one almost a week later. Surely the fact that you are bleeding and have been told the there is no heartbeat is an indication that your body is now trying to reject it. I even suggested should I go private and they said no, you will be fine. So glad to be home - feeling ok, but sad. I am pensive about trying for another baby. But I guess a bit of time may help. Thanks everyone. x

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candygirl · 13/11/2006 15:14

so sorry to hear about your rough weekend ,if only they took you in asap then you wouldnt have had to go through that awful pain ,you poor thing !my hospital always got me in the next day ,which was great as then you dont have time to stew on it at home like you did or even leave it so it gets to where like you ,you have to go through all that.
you make sure you rest and get through this the way you want and need to,we,ll all be here for you ! take care

Original poster
Pupness · 13/11/2006 20:56

Candygirl - what a lovely message - thank you -

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candygirl · 14/11/2006 14:36

that's ok ! hope your resting and being pampered by your loved ones ,god knows you desserve it at this moment on time .take care!

Lio · 14/11/2006 14:46

Pupness I have joined this too late to be of any use except to give you an e-hug and say that there are loads of comforting stories on here from mums who miscarried then went on to have a fine pregnancy and a beautiful child. Warm wishes to you and your family.

helenhismadwife · 14/11/2006 19:44

Hi pupness
I am so sorry for your loss, it is a horrible thing to go through,the actual evac is not that bad its everything around it. I hope you start to feel better soon, it does get better it just takes a little time.

I had a missed miscarriage just over two years ago, I was almost 16 weeks pregnant.they did suggest that I could be admitted immediately but I needed some time to come to deal with the fact that my baby was gone and also to tell my family and friends.

youngmumoftwo · 14/11/2006 20:03

Hi,
I had a similar experience and I can empathise with the pain, in fact it was worse that labour at 40 weeks. I was booked in 3 days after my 12 week scan showed no heartbeat. Due to lack of doctors I waited all day for the D&C and then was postponed till the following day. In the night the cramps started and then increased to contractions. I too had a blockage which the doctor removed a 6am on an open ward. They then left the "product of conception" at the end of my bed and I lay there wondering whether I should look to see if I could tell of it was a girl or a boy (I really wanted a girl). Luckily I didnt. The frustrating thing for both of us is that if we had have been booked in earlier it wouldnt have been so bad. It happened to me 2 years ago and I still cry about it. Not very often but I think the combination of the loss of the baby, knowing it wasnt alive inside me and then the trauma of removing the "POC" has made it worse than normal.
By the way I fell pregnant 6 months later and had a healthy boy. I just put it down to nature and that there was something not right with the baby and it didnt make it. I would rather that happened early on than later. It is very common and something which 1 on 3 women go through.
Hope you get lots of rest. One thing my husband I did was to make sure on what would have been the due date, we were doing something to take our minds of it. My husband was very upset too and it took him a while to admit that he cried secretly as he didnt want to upset me. Hope you are both ok xxx

helenhismadwife · 14/11/2006 20:26

pupness

just one thing to add, I found the miscarriage association really really good, it helped me a lot to know that there were so many others in the same position as we were. there is a poem that I keep by my computer that I found on the miscarriage association website it for me said exactly how I felt;

Lost Love

A kiss never kissed
A dream never wished.
An embrace never felt
A beauty never beheld.
A tear never cried
A life never tried.
A love never shown
A child never known.

Original poster
Pupness · 14/11/2006 21:57

thanks mumsnet - and you Candygirl, who have been through so much too. Such kind words, I certainly don't feel so alone. I have got to say, what you guys have said has been getting me up in the morning.

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