Advice needed.

[Purpleprickles]

Hi I've just found out that my pregnancy is a blighted ovum. We had been trying for dc2 for four years, gave up and then I got pregnant so it all feels really cruel. I had an early scan today due to a backlog at the hospital but in my heart of heart I just knew things wouldnt go smoothly though I had no symptoms of miscarriage, not bleeding etc.
I have to go back tomorrow to the EPU. The sonographer said the sizes of the sac and embryo are just under official guidelines for saying that the pregnancy has failed but she was thankfully honest and said it is highly unlikely to be good news. I know from my rough dates as well that it isn't good.
Sorry I'm waffling- in a daze really. Anyway I wanted to know what to expect. I really don't want to wait for it to naturally happen or have the tablets. I would just really like it to be removed and for this to be over. Can I push for an erpc or will they encourage me to wait? I also might have to wait until next week to have another scan to confirm but I don't see any hope or point in this (I'm aware I'm not a dr). We are supposed to be taking our son away next week for half term and I know I may sound mad but I just want to stick to our plans as he knows nothing about this. I just want things to be normal. They won't be I know but I need it.
Sorry this is garbled but I just wondered if anyone could share any advice?

Yes it's hard to feel so out of control. It sounds like you're doing everything right.
The Dr told me it's advisable to wait for 1 normal period, which normally takes 3-6 weeks. But then she said that is only for dating reasons, as long as it was an uncomplicated MC there's no medical need to wait & the sooner you try again the lower the risk supposably. I think we'll wait a month & then take the plunge.
I hope your hormones aren't too bad & you manage to get some sleep. It's only a few more days of enduring this & then can try to move on. The limbo is the worst bit. We'll have better luck next time & everything will be OK it will just be a few months behind what we planned. Believe. Xx

Hi both. Thelly I'm really glad you've been discharged and am wishing you all the luck for the future. It feels really odd when the Dr talk about trying again as for me it's the last thing on my mind. I don't think we will as we are so lucky to have ds (I realise that even more now) but I'm not making any definite decisions yet.

HN I'm sorry you are still waiting. The waiting really is awful and feels like hell on earth. I've had the erpc today and it was fine. I was crying beforehand everytime I met a new Dr or nurse and so scared of the GA but it was all fine and I actually feel better today than I have since we found out. I'm worried the emotions will come back but I'm like you I just want to get on and be practical and busy. I'm not sure if your trust will let you push for a procedure if you still want it. I didn't have to in the end as it turns out that is standard for mine but I was going to use mental health grounds if they didn't agree. My sac was also small I think- 24mm or something and the embryo was only 1mm which in some ways I felt relieved about but sad in others cos it didn't even stand a chance

Hi both, second scan today and no change so miscarriage finally confirmed. I was booked in for first lot of tablets but when being talked through everything I broke down and just couldn't go through it. My main concern was that it was only successful 80% of the time and if it doesn't work you have to wait a week again for anything else. I ended up seeing the registrar who has booked me in for ERPC tomorrow. There is a chance the consultant may refuse in the morning as sac is 24.6mm not the 25mm they set as a threshold (the difference is the thickness of a piece of paper!). But all going well tomorrow this awful journey will come to an end. Then just got to start the process of getting strong enough to try again! Think it will take me at least 1-2 cycles at least before I can face it again x

Thank you both for being there. It has been a real reassurance and comfort. I have never used mumsnet before but have found it amazing for information and support xx

HN I'm glad they have booked you in and I'm hoping the consultant agrees. I'm sure mine was 24.something too but the hospital kept the paperwork so I can't check. I think you need to push emotional grounds if it comes to it. Physically today I'm tired and achey but it's not bad at all. Bleeding is also really light still. Emotionally I'm feeling ok too and I'm hoping it stays that way.

I'm so sorry it wasn't better news with the scan. You and everyone on here and other threads have really helped me too. RL friends have been fab but it's good to be able to share it with people who are experiencing it at the same time. Let us know how you get on and I'll be thinking of you tomo xx

Hi both, ERPC done and waiting to go home now. Purple my experience so far has been similar to yours, really kind nursing staff, straightforward procedure and feeling ok. Some cramping and bleeding but no worse than usual period. There are obviously some ladies going through medical miscarriages here and I am so grateful that I didn't have to do it that way. One lady hasn't stopped crying for the past few hours

Have a good weekend and hope to see you on here again, hopefully on a more positive thread next time. I have faith! Lots of love x

HN I'm pleased it's done for you now. Hope you get home soon and make sure you rest. I feel a bit more achey today than the last two days but nothing major. I'm still taking it very easy though. Take care and fingers crossed for you in the future xx

Hi there. I'm so glad to hear you've both had your ERPC & that it hasn't been too traumatic. I really hope that the recovery goes well and that you both feel better not being in that limbo anymore. Have a restful weekend, make sure you both treat yourself to something (I bought sandals) or do something that you enjoy/makes you feel good. Give the time a little time.
Like you i just want to say thank you for being there along side me during this difficult time. It really made it more manageable and easier to cope just knowing I wasn't alone and that someone understood.
Best of luck for the future. Xxx