Going back to work after a mmc

[straighttopudding]

I had a early scan at 10 weeks due to some light bleeding and they told me that I had miscarried at 7 weeks

I opted for surgical management under a GA as I figured if it had taken my body 3 weeks to even realise something wasn't right then waiting for it to happen naturally might take weeks. They fitted me in within a couple of days and they signed me off work for two weeks.

So I'm currently reaching the end of 3 weeks off work and I am absolutely dreading going back. My boss and colleague know what happened and have been lovely but all anyone else knows is that I've had a small operation.

I don't know what I'm worried about really, I love my job and I've always been really career focused, worked my arse off etc and really care about doing a good job. But I'm worried that after this, I'm just not going to be able to see the importance of anything I do at work, I don't want to turn into someone who just coasts along.

I also think my tolerance levels are low atm so can see myself snapping at people at work and struggling to stay professional. Or what if I burst into tears in the middle of a meeting?!

I'm quite an anxious person so realise I might be worrying about nothing, I feel ok in myself but then I'm in my comfortable stress-free home environment so able to cope better with my loss. Have also been able to spend some lovely quality time with my dd

I would be very grateful to hear from anyone who had experienced this and any advice for going back on Monday, I'm losing sleep over it!

TIA xxx

I'm sorry you're going through this OP.
Have you got an occ health dept at your work maybe you could speak to them or your manager and just express some of your concerns it could be that they could offer you a phased return to start with to see how you get on. Maybe flexi hours or a change in work load, for example when I returned to work after a time off they put me on a audit project so I could just get on with that for a while rather than having to liaise with other organisations and attend lots of meetings.

Thank you for replying, I am only jn mon-wed next week anyway due to AL and I have a return to work meeting with my boss scheduled for Monday.

She is lovely but I'm not sure whether I should be honest with her or put a professional brave face on iykwim. I guess I won't know how I feel until I get there, I think that's why I'm anxious. We have tons of events coming up and I know they have struggled with me being off so not sure how feasible it'll be to take it easier at first.

At least its a short week when you go back.
I would say be kind to yourself and being honest with your manager if you can would be a professional approach take on what you can but recognise you might find it difficult at first. I'm sure your manager would not expect you to be your normal self on day one so don't feel like you have to put on a act x

Hi sorry for your loss. I went back to work a few weeks ago after a very similar MMC. The first few days were a struggle, I felt exhausted, unable to concentrate fully and hated fielding "are you better now?" "What was wrong?" questions from colleagues (only my manager knew the reason). However I got through it, I told my manager I was feeling fragile and I was still undergoing tests to check there were no complications but I was keen to come back to work and she was really nice and said she would be guided by me as to how much I took on etc. I also worked from home a bit which really helped, the official reason was as I had the hosp appts to attend but it was a real help to ease myself back in gently. By week 2 I was feeling loads better and happy to have something to take my mind off things, it just felt incredibly good to be "normal" again.

If anyone asked me why I'd been off I just said I won't bore you with the details and they got the message!

For me it was the right thing to go back when I did and I think being honest with my manager that I wasnt 100% helped. However if you really don't feel ready and are very upset still maybe you should defer a few days... Good luck, you will get through this

Hope it goes ok today op

Hope it goes ok today op

Hope today goes well, I took months off my mmc was September I only started going back every day last month, partially due to pains and sickness but mainly because of the mmc , I couldn't deal with being back..good luck x

Hi,
I know exactly how you feel. I am now in week 3 back at work after a mmc at 11 weeks. I only told two colleagues at work, my manager and my coworker and any others thought I'd had flu. I felt nervous coming back because it's a return to reality. Actually the first few days were OK and I quite enjoyed the distraction and trying to think about something else. A few days in I left the office and burst into tears on the train! I think it all felt too normal again and I felt like it really was all over.

I think its VERY natural to not feel like you care quite as much about work just now, I certainly don't, and I usually enjoy my job. What's happened is life changing so go easy on yourself and take a breather or go for a nice lunch when you need to. Good luck xxx