friend accidently pregnant while im still ttc

[babyangelbean20315]

I jus need to rant.....my friend, who gets around a bit has this morning told me she's pregnant, 5 weeks pregnant...she doesn't have a partner she jus had a few fuck buddies...she had 2 n now dunno who the dad is.....and she's told me all this knowing I have been ttc since my mmc in September....I dunno what to say to her because she doesn't even want kids
I dunno if I should tell her Shes frustrated me with this information because I still can't get a positive test and she has or if I jus need to support her through her decisions....I've already given her my advice and support but don't know if my feelings are ones I should express or just Discuss elsewhere, I don't wanna take my feelings out on anyone close to me but I don't wanna upset my friend when I know her emotions r going to be whacked right now....does anyone have any advice ?
All the other people I have had to deal with have been work people and have all now had there babies or expecting then soon so I have not had to deal with this yet and I don't know how I should handle it

I do want to help her, but I can't help how I feel, especially when she more than likely will abort it because she is not ready for the change in lifestyle yet - in fact she used to say she never wanted children.. I know she's been blessed and I should be happy for her but I can't help but feel sorry for myself

Wouldn't it be easier to take the news if she saw it as a blessing? I would explain in words of one syllable for the emotionally unintelligent it is very hard for you to be there for her in this situation when you are still feeling the loss of your own baby.
If she needs to make a decision whether to carry on with the pregnancy then there are organisations where she can talk it through without judgement. There are enough baby bombs out there waiting to trip you up without becoming embroiled in this one. It's the equivalent of signing the card but not attending the baby shower, you can say you support her right to make a decision about the pregnancy without being the one who holds her hand. You are allowed to step back to protect yourself.

Thanks, I think I'll definately be taking a big step back, I might be being silly but I feel like she told me to get a reaction, haven't heard a word from her since she told me, if that's the case then I won't be considering her a friend any more

I know it is difficult and painful, but really. Her fertility/reproductive choices have nothing to do with yours.

I've been trying to conceive for five years. I am three years post miscarriage. In that time I've had to:

Pick my youngest sister up from the abortion clinic after she had a one night stand with a guy and they used protection

Older sister has had three more children in that space of time including one she didn't want.

Best friend had a termination, then a miscarriage then a healthy baby and is now about full-term with her second.

I know it's hard but you literally have to not connect what anyone else is going through with your own fertility. It is not fair and life sucks sometimes but every time someone does or doesn't have a baby it doesn't take your chance away.

We all have different paths to follow and if you focus on it then it will consume you. It will make you bitter and angry.

I'm not sure I agree about not linking others with your fertility. Logically, yes but I know emotionally you can't do it.

I had a tfmr in jan, my much wanted dd2. Since then a friend has had her baby, due the same time as mine, 2 women at work are blissfully pregnant with no problems.

Now I want to be happy for them, I like them, it's wonderful news for them. However, normal human emotion makes me angry, bitter and jealous, not specifically at them but generally. I'm learning that actually that's ok. I'm in a shitty situation, as are you, and you are allowed to feel however you feel.

Personally I would pull back, this is not a situation you can help her with, you need to look after yourself. This is why I told my colleague that I wasn't the one who could reassure her about everything being ok at her scan when she asked, it's not something I can do anymore.

Im sorry you're in a horrid situation.

Thanks everyone, especially kitty I think we think quite alike, I try to be happy for people but it angers me when people who don't want babies get blessed with one that people like me n u been trying for but no luck....I understand other people are not me and its not to do with me but I can't help the emotions
and I can't help but feel she knew what I'd been going through so could of got support else where