Can't move on, not trying again

[NowImfeelingsad]

I had my 7th MC 2 months ago. Can't stop feeling so sad, getting flashbacks to that scan where the sonographer looked at me and I knew...Keep thinking, now I should be feeling it move, now I should have 20 week scan, can't stop these things popping into my head. Ashamed to admit it but I feel sick with jealousy at pregnant women.
I know I'm very lucky to have my beautiful children, should just get on with it, I don't know if its worse this time as I had medical complications - vein thrombosis - after the surgery, plus I'm so old that I know now that I really can't try again ever, just can't get over it.

Does/did anyone else have this and did it ever go away?
The hospital never contacted me to tell me about the results of the histology & genetics they did on my baby, can't face being pushy and calling them either.

feelingsad I'm so sorry. Nobody should have to endure so many losses. You are v welcome to join the recurrent miscarriage thread if you feel the need of some support, we can all identify with those feelings. Have you had any counselling? It might help you process all that grief and be able to move on from it, if you have children you have to keep it together for it's easy to have squashed all your feelings down and never really come to terms with them.
The results will still be there when/if you are ready to face them.

My thoughts are with you xxx sorry for your losses you are a very strong woman be proud of yourself for what you have gone through and the parent you are to children you do have, a lot of people wouldnt of been able to deal with it so I really do salute you xxx your an extremely strong woman and u really do need to be proud of who you are

Thank you both for your replies. Baking - the threads seem to be about trying again, which i'm not so I haven't joined them. I am in the process of getting counselling, I hope it will be helpful, but wise words, I think I have alot of squashed feelings! Babyangel - Thank you for your kind words

Big hugs. You're so so brave to have dealt with that many losses. I recently lost my baby at 21 weeks and I'm terrified to try again even though it was my first loss. 2 months isn't long ago at all, I'm sure you'll feel different with time xx