10 weeks, no heartbeat. What do I do now?

[Bravelittlesoldier]

Hi,
I'd really appreciate some advice if possible- we had a private scan this morning and there was no heartbeat. I should be 10 weeks tomorrow and the sac was only measuring about 7 weeks. I can't speak to anyone in the Early Pregnancy Assessment Unit until tomorrow and I am not sure what they will suggest. I've had no signs of miscarriage and still feel pregnant, so think I'm in shock. I just feel really cold and dizzy.

My worry is that I am due to go into hospital with DS2 (2yrs) tonight for a week. He is having treatment for cancer, and this phase is particularly gruelling. I am terrified the miscarriage will happen in hospital and it will be absolutely awful. I had a very early miscarriage in January but that it was very early and was more like a heavy period so horrible but manageable.

I'm sorry, I know I sound very cold but I don't know what I should do. When DS2 is hospital, DH and I usually alternate nights and I do all days as he's working too. I know nothing might happen for ages and I might need a D&C but won't know til I get into Epau. I have to leave for the hospital in a few hours and I think I'm just looking for advice or help. Sorry my post is muddled, my head feels like it's full of sand.

Yes good luck to you brave, really hope your family get the help and support you need and you can get through this difficult time as soon as possible.

I've just been through a similar thing in that I was nearly 12 weeks and baby stopped growing at 8. With hindsight I wish I had opted for the surgical management straight away - it was pain free and I was home by tea time. I had two lots of medical management first (the pessary). I had one lot, then two days later had to have a second lot as I hadn't bled enough so I had another 48 hours of pain and bleeding. Then I had to wait a week for the scan which showed it was incomplete :(

I don't think they make you aware just how horrific the medical management can be - it's painful and gory :(

The surgical intervention was much easier to cope with - my partner had the support of all the staff rather than dealing with it on our own. Also it is nice to know that the baby is going to be cremated afterwards. I was checking every clot as I didn't want to flush the baby down the toilet :(

I'm sorry to be so forthright about it but I found the medical staff made the medical management sound like the easy option "you can have it in the comfort of your own home". The reality is different :(

I am thinking of you during this terrible time. My heart goes out to you and your family

Thanks everyone and AuntieDee, really sorry to hear that you experienced this too. We got home from hospital late last night and I finally took the tablets this morning. It felt like I had been grieving all week for something that hadn't happened physically so my head needed to catch up with my heart. Thanks so so much for all your kindness and support - it was good to have a place to talk uncensored. Thanks again, strangers can be the kindest, x