the unfairness of it all (+ crying tantrum)

[casiopeia]

After two early ms and over a year of TTC, a work friend announced her pregnancy. I feel incredibly bitter knowing she underwent termination last year because 'she did not want to be pregnant out of wedlock'. They are married now. It is not so unfair and I know it has nothing to do with my own failure to grown babies in my belly, but I just burst out crying as soon as she was out of my sight. I will not be able to avoid her for next many months- how do I cope? I have other pregnant friends and family members and I am honestly thrilled for them and do not feel such horrid feelings towards any of them. I don't want to be a horrible person but I feel too selfish to share this person's joy.

Not sure I am making sense, but writing things down helps, thanks to anybody brave enough to read this.

You're not selfish - you're a human being with hopes and fears and feelings. You're most definitely not a horrible person.

And it does seem unfair how some people seem to breeze through life.

Sorry that you've had two miscarriages. There will be times when things upset you but don't beat yourself up about it.

As for coping, based on the info you've given, you still have every chance of a successful pregnancy in the future. You will get used to this person having a baby, it won't always feel this raw. Maybe the more you see her the quicker it will ease?

I'm so sorry. I've had 3 x mc's in last year and my colleague who sits facing me is pregnant and it's so hard.

I get through it by concentrating on 1 day at at time.

Please remember though that every pregnancy is a fresh start. So keep everything crossed for next time

Look after yourself and be kind to yourself

It will get easier I promise. It is a horrible feeling but entirely natural in your circumstances. I had one daughter then 3 MCs before my second child (who is nearly 2) and I still get pangs when I hear about friends' pregnancies. It doesn't feel fair that everything was easy and straightforward for them (which it may not have been).

It's a horrid time. Look after yourself.

IFinished thank you for your kind words, you are right, I am bound to get used to it if I see her on regular basis.

brummiegirl I am very sorry for you losses and feel your pain, it is hard being reminded constantly. One day at a time is a good advice, I will do the same. Some days are better and I am very positive, some are just rubbish. You sound like a very strong lady.

coldcabbage yes, the un/fairness of it all is what keeps nagging in my mind, but objectively, we all have things others may think it is unfair we have them.
So sorry for your losses too, it is all so sad and I hope your little ones give you plenty of reasons to keep smiling.

I am off on a little break for few days ( this was booked ages ago but it is coming at such a good time!), and will be back hopefully positive and ready for a new start :) have a good week ladies and thank you so much for your kind support and help