When do you start trying again?

[Sealpup38]

Today I had a surgical miscarraige having found out at my 12 week scan that our baby had died. The operation was a success and I'm experiencing a little bit of bleeding and some cramping but not as bad as I had anticipated!

We're desperate to try again because I'm 31 and would like at least two kids, and it took us nearly a year to conceive. Doctors recommended waiting until my first period is over. However, I've read that they say this to help date a pregnancy rather than due to other risks. I've also read that it can be to prevent infection but I'm on industrial size antibiotics for two weeks.

What have you guys heard/experienced? Would it be ok to start trying again once we're feeling up to it and whilst I'm still more fertile? I worry about going against doctors advise...

Thanks xx

Hi, I'm so sorry for your loss, I've had 3 mc's in 10 months so I feel your pain.

A family member is also an obs & gynae registrar so I do have some advice.

Yes, you can try again straight after, however you are advised to wait for one cycle to help with dating, plus also help your cycle settle down. The problem is, if you catch again before your first period, you have absolutely no way of knowing how many weeks you are because you don't have a last period.

If you therefore have a scan and you are unsure of dates, it can be really distressing to not be sure how far along you are - in that actually you are much earlier than you think but it looks like bad news. Don't put yourself through it.

That said, if you fall pregnant before your first period post mc, it won't harm you or your baby.

My advice would be though, you must wait and get a negative home pregnancy test first and that can be really upsetting. If you don't, you could think you are pregnant again and actually you aren't.

For mc 1, it took me 7 days to get a negative
Mc 2, it took 16 days and for mc 3 it's took 3.5 weeks and to keep seeing a positive line week after week was really distressing.

I know it feels like a lifetime, trust me, I've no dc, I'm 38 and lost 3 babies, and every day that goes past is another day lost.

But waiting until you are back on even ground and starting from fresh is much better. I promise. I understand the desperation to be pregnant again, I truly do.

Big hugs

Hello seal, so sorry you're in the same position, it's the most upsetting and grim time.

All the advice you've had from the medics and on here reflects what we've been told as well, so the answer is simply 'when you're ready'. Some people feel it's important to wait until the baby's EDD is passed; some feel far too fragile to even consider it; some feel they need to start yesterday.

Whatever you do, there is no right or wrong answer, and it is likely to be emotional in any circumstance. FWIW, I found out that our baby had died at a scan just over two weeks ago; had the op last Monday; have started trying again. I want to be pregnant and have another child.

Take care of yourself and take it easy; I found the first couple of days post op OK, then wibbled...

Hi guys,

Thank you so much for your replies - it feels good to speak with people in a similar boat. My doctor called today to see how I was and he said there's absolutely no medical reason why you need to wait until your first period so to start trying when I'm ready. However, we'd both like to see a negative test so we know we're starting from the beginning again.

You were right - first few days were ok but today's been really hard. It feels really unfair!

Glad you've got such a lovely doctor!

It's weird how you feel OK after the operation and then dip....hormones and the adrenaline calming down I guess.

Fingers crossed for a BFP