How long shall I wait?

[SandmanSlim]

I know this is a personal thing but I'm a bit at a loss in what to do. I am/was 12w. After some bleeding found out it's just a sack (for some reason I've taken against the term blighted ovum, it sounds like I have the plague). That was 4 days ago and I'm still only lightly bleeding.

2 days ago I had a scan and appointment at epau and they said it's already started to breakdown and there was a lot of blood on the scan so they expected it to happen fairly quickly. But nothing has changed.

My parents have taken our three year old for the weekend so we don't have to worry about her so I'd really like it to get on with it but I'm scared of increasing the pain if I go with the tablets. DH doesn't see the rush.

Has anyone got any words of wisdom? Sorry it's long!

I'm v sorry for your loss sandman
The limbo is v hard to deal with, and your body has carried on feeling pregnant for 8 weeks when the embryo wasn't developing. A natural MC will happen eventually but it's a lot to have hanging over you wondering when it will happen. I'd go with medical or surgical management at a time when you can arrange childcare and have your DH's support. If you go with medical management you can opt to stay in hospital until you pass the sac or you can ask for some heavier duty painkillers than you'd get OTC.

Thanks Bakingtins just typing it out helped me process it so I phoned in. The earliest they can get me in now is Monday and they want to do another scan as apparently I'm close to the limit of size of sack where they let you have a home medical management. If that's the case I think I'll have surgery. I hate hospitals but if I have to be in I'd rather have it in a controlled way even with the risks of GA.

It's come at the worst time childcare wise. My MIL is recovering from an op and everyone else works but my dad is retiring next week. If only I could wait a week but I don't think I can. We might just have to throw money/childminder at it but I hate feeling like I'm farming DD out. Struggling with feeling like a terrible mother anyway because of this (illogical I know).
Sorry it's long again it just helps to type it out. DH is great at practical things and sadness but not so good at hearing my guilt/anger.

Some hospitals are now offering an ERPC procedure under local rather than general anaesthetic, if the GA is your main worry. Personally I would rather be asleep but it's a case of picking the least crap of your crap options. Don't worry about your Dd, she'll be fine.

I echo Baking I've had 2 x ERPCs and they were absolutely the best option for me in a distressing situation.

It's a very quick procedure, I left the ward and then 50 minutes later I was back in recovery, and that included being wheeled down, the faffing in the anaesthetic room, the procedure and then being taken to recovery.

As you are under for such a short time the physical recovery at least is very quick, and first time I had minimal spotting afterwards, number 2 I had no bleeding.

Baking is right, your DD will be absolutely fine, you are not farming her out, you are doing the best you can in a sad situation

I'm so sorry for your loss. I've had a silent mc and the thought of carrying your baby inside of you after the mc is very distressing. Please don't underestimate that. I had to wait 3 days as it was over New Year and it was so hard

Thanks all. It's so nice to hear from people who've been through it. No one seems to talk about it. I think I've talked myself out of medical management so if nothing's happened by my appointment tomorrow I'll be asking for surgery. Thanks!