coping with miscarriage at week 12

[butterflygirl1515]

Hi,

Sadly I am suffering a miscarriage at 12 weeks pregnant. Though the scan said the baby stopped developing/possibly died at week 9. My body is just now catching up.

It was such a shock to develop bleeding and cramping at week 12 just days before our first scan which we were so looking forward to seeing.

Dp and I cried buckets at the early pregnancy unit. They looked after us very well there though.

We have opted to go for a natural passing of the miscarriage rather than D and C.

The cramping pains are bareable most of the time but take paracetamol when it gets bad.

The bleeding is like a heavy period at the mo.

Is there anyone who had a loss at 9 weeks who can say if worse is to come or not with the bleeding? And how long it lasted. I have a scan booked for 2 weeks time to check whether all has come out or not.

Sorry for all the losses others have had.

So sorry that this is happening to you. I had a missed mc at 10 weeks, and baby had died at 6 weeks. I can't give advice on what to expect for a natural mc as I had failed medical management, then surgical. There is a very helpful thread on here though, about coping with the practicalities of mc. I hope you have lots of support at this horrible time. Take care x

I had a mc at 11 weeks last year, although the pregnancy had also stopped developing several weeks before.
I experienced lighter bleeding for a few days. The day I finally miscarried, I had backache all day and then began having bad cramps in the evening. This was actually a very similar experience to my labour with dd. The contractions were regular for an hour or so and then became very intense and frequent. I passed clots and then was aware of passing the gestational sac. It was about the size of the palm of my hand and quite solid. I didn't look too closely but wasn't aware of passing a foetus or anything resembling it. After I passed the sac, I bled heavily for a couple of hours and then it calmed.
The experience was fairly gruelling and intense but there was also something empowering about it. My body knew what it needed to do. It was primal and strong.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I hope I haven't been too graphic for you. Your experience might be completely different from mine. I would advise having thick pads, painkillers and hot water bottle at the ready. Maybe take some spatone for iron. Definitely don't go to work. The epu advised me that i would be fine if it happened at work as long as i had pads, but i definitely wouldn't. Having to labour through a loss like that in work toilets would have been awful. There is a really good thread on here about preparing for a miscarriage which gives lots of info and experiences. Also check out the miscarriage association.
Sorry for your loss. You will get through it.

Hi butterfly, I was in exactly same boat as you 3 weeks ago. 2 days before our dating scan I started with some brown spotting and went to the EPAU. I'd had some bleeding at 7 weeks so had had an earlier scan showing measurements to my dates and a healthy heartbeat. This scan showed no heartbeat and the baby measuring 9 weeks. Like you I didn't want surgery and went home to miscarry naturally but after a couple of days of just light brown bleeding and no cramps I was going out of my mind so I went back to the hospital and asked for medical management. Make sure you have lots of the heavy duty pads and root out your oldest clothes. A lot of ladies on here advised wearing leggings as you feel more 'secure' and I can definitely second that. Did the Epau offer to prescribe anything stronger for the pain? I was in hospital to miscarry and so had some codeine prescribed but I found the cramps were only very painful for a short period of time and eased off immediately after I actually miscarried. I found walking around helped with the cramping but equally I wouldn't stray too far from the bathroom. Magazines, books, films could also help to try to distract you. The waiting is horrible. I didn't want to see what I had passed but that is a very personal decision with no rights or wrongs. I bled for just over a week after.
I'm really sorry for your loss, look after yourself.

I had exactly the same. Routine 12 week scan due on the Friday, reached the 12 week milestone on the Wednesday before, miscarried Wednesday night. Really really grim to feel like you have crossed the finish line in terms of worry and danger only to find out you have been cheated of your baby (at least that's how I felt). I went for conservative management too...at 7 days later I am still bleeding but very very lightly, like the end of a period. I haven't got any more scans booked to check it's all gone or anything. Wish I did, would be good to feel like I know everything has passed safely. I am so so sorry that this crappy thing has happened to you, and us all. I hope things start to feel better soon, emotionally and physically. It'll be ok in the end, as they say...x

Funnylittlekaty, they did give you a pregnancy test though and tell you when to take it didn't they? Hope you and butterflygirl are both doing OK. I keep telling myself to take things 24 hours at a time and that seems to be what gets me through the day.

No they didn't say anything. Just that the heavy bleeding would be 48-72 hours and the light bleeding could go up to 2 weeks. Should they have given me a preg test?

I was given one but not offered a follow up scan. I was told to take it after 3 weeks and if the test was negative I don't need to call back but if it was positive to call. Maybe call them and ask? Having only ever had one pregnancy (and miscarriage) I can't say what the normal protocol is. Sorry if I've been no help at all, the last thing I would want to do is make you worry about something else on top of everything!

Sorry for tour mcs. With late first trimester mc you should pass some really big clots before mc is compelte. Just strong period bleed does not usually complete this. i would suggest that if you have bled several days and have not seen serious clots that you go back to doc and say it is not progressing while you are bleeding auite heavily. Otherwise you risk getting really anemic before anything happens.
I hope you can both manage it had home, but not everyone does. I never managed to pass rhe sac despite heavy bleeding, and had to go back and have an eprc.

Once more sorry for you rmc. Just had one at 9+3 myself, this time opted for eprc at once, knowing it will probably not pass by itself....

Ah thanks nouser! That's kind. I'll give it til three weeks and if I'm still bleeding I'll shoot myself, I mean take a test and see what the crack is. On the plus side ladies I finished my antibiotics today and am halfway down my second very very large gin. It's actually the best thing that's happened to me since all this bloody hideousness began!

Hi,

Sorry if this is tmi.

How big are the clots you mean JassS? Im on day 6 now of the bleeding. I had a couple of jelly like clots at the start and yesterday have been loosing lots of stringy clots (dark red) . Does this count or do I have still have larger clots to come? Had empty sac on 12 week scan which they said measured 9 weeks growth.

Ive got a check up scan booked for a week on wed.

The pacentaltissue passing felt like you really had some quite big stuff coming out, at least 5-6 cm in diameter, really ugly liver like (sorry, certainly Tmi, but since you asked....). Stringy stuff, too, is common. If you have children already then actually I was amazed how passing s "normal, full term" placenta it felt when this small placenta came out.

Hi
This happened to me yesterday. 12 week scan was due tomorrow but spent Sunday night in A&E with abdominal pains like contractions and scan yesterday morning showed baby still there but no heartbeat and around the size of 9 weeks.
I think I've decided to have the ERPC and we're due to go in and see the dr at EPU today.
I can't believe we were almost in the safe zone. Lots of tears here and very emotional.

Hi Adventuregame,

Im so so sorry to hear of your loss. We were very emotional too and I feel its good to let all the tears out. Have been slowly coming to terms with it though have waves of emotion. Take care. x

JassS, I rang the EPU this morning for advice about how the miscarriage is progressing. The doctor I spoke to said it was progressing slowly and that it can take the full 2 weeks or even up to a month to complete. So will just have to see how it goes and then get a check at the scan next Wed.
Am feeling sad that its dragging on as just want it over and finished with soon.

If you get tired of waiting demand them to do the eprc. Some people never miscarry completely on their own, I always have retained tissue, so I have got adamant at getting them to do the cleanout. If next scan shows its not over maybe you can say you are tired of waiting and losing lots of blood, getting weak, they might then do the eprc?

Sorry for your loss.
I had medicated management two weeks ago and passed my 12 week old baby. Got a scan tomorrow to see if all tissue is now gone as I had to take extra medication for the end of the clots.

I completely sympathise with you and the feeling of it dragging out. I have my appointment tomorrow after two weeks of cramping and bleeding..my bleeding dropped down but in the past two days has come back with worse cramps and more clots/tissue, I also have one on the 5th of May for bloods, one on the 7th July to confirm and discuss what happened with our baby..and that doesn't count anything inbetween..still might need D & C

Hi all,

I'm new to this but was very interested in your discussions and hoped for some advice. I went for my 12 week scan on Monday and found out the baby never fully developed but my body continued to believe it was 12 weeks pregnant, including a little pot belly and clothing becoming too tight. I had a surgical procedure this morning to remove it all thinking that I could just move on from it but I'm feeling a little stuck. I don't need any follow up appointments because the surgeon thought she'd 'got it all'. What do I do now? I have some bleeding and tummy cramps but it feels like we'd mapped the next six months of my life out and now I'm at a lose. How long do you guys recommend before trying again? Doctors have advised that it should be after your first period but I've read that they say that in order to help with dating a pregnancy and as long as you're feeling ok and the tests are negative then you're good to go. Never sure I'm comfortable ignoring a doctors advice though.

I look forward to chatting to peoole who understand - my husband tries but you know what men are like!

Hi all,

Have now today had the 2 week follow up scan and was amazed and pleased when it showed that the miscarriage had completed naturally over the past 2 weeks. I was sure it was going to say it hadnt and I'd have to have the surgical proceedure. I was expecting to pass a placenta. I wish Id known that at 9 weeks growth there wouldnt be one yet.

The gestational sac has passed out naturally (which I think I saw) and had bleeding/small jelly like/liver like clots most days of the 2 weeks and some cramping pains but nothing as bad as i was expecting to get.

The nurse said everyone is different and some bleed heavily over a few days and some like me bleed consistantly (not heavy tho) over 2 weeks.

Hi Sealpup,
Sorry for the delay in replying.

As to what to do now. I know its different for everyone but Im doing things that I couldnt do whilst pregnant like painting the bathroom and do spring cleaning that involves going up ladders. Then am going to wait for first period and then ttc again after that.

My partner and I saw a counsellor a week after the miscarrige was found at scan which was very helpful. She also lit a candle for us. We have kept it as a symbol to remember the baby by. So although we are going to try again that baby will never be forgotten or replaced.

Best wishes to everyone.

I have just had a miscarriage, I was about 9 weeks pregnant but miscarried I am told at about 5-6 weeks. Its my second pregnancy and cuddling my gorgeous little boy does help. I am so lucky to have had one healthy child, but still feel empty at the moment and that I dont really have the right to be upset as so many others never even get the chance to have one child.

Hasnt helped that today I have actually started passing large clots, its just so unpleasant and i have no idea how long it will last. The staff at the EPU were not empathetic at all, gave almost no info, I wasnt told about any support available, and when they scanned me and found the sac with nothing in it it was as though they were just telling me that i was being diagnosed with the flu. H
DH has been amazing, I am lucky to have him. Sending love to everyone else out there who is going through this at the moment x