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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

MMC 6ish weeks at 13+1, what do I do now?

19 replies

MyNameIsSuz · 03/03/2015 19:27

I had my first scan yesterday at 13+1 and saw an empty sac measuring 10 weeks and a foetal pole which suggested the baby had died a few weeks ago. It was very conclusive and we were left in no doubt that the baby was not there any more.

I was sent to talk to someone in the gynae clinic but it was closed and the doctor I saw seemed to be in a rush and didn't really talk me through what would happen next. I didn't push as I was feeling quite fragile, she seemed to deliberately sidestep any questions I had. She booked me in for a follow up scan in ten days' time - I asked why I needed a follow up scan when there was no chance of a mistake, and she just said it was to confirm a miscarriage. I think they are hoping it will happen spontaneously in the next ten days, but it's been several weeks and nothing so what are the chances? I feel like ten days a very long time to wait to confirm something we know and I just want to get things started so I can move on.

I suspect that after this appointment will be yet another wait for intervention. My questions are:

Do you think I could ask if I can be booked in for something on the same day straight after the scan, since we know already what the outcome will be?
What should I go for? Medical or surgical?
Who do I contact? Midwives, GP, hospital? The hospital didn't give me any information whatsoever.

I just feel like I'm in limbo, I went to work today and will for the rest of the week as I feel I should wait to take time off until I actually need it physically. It was a good distraction and I actually felt ok all day while I was there, but think it took it out of me as I'm now exhausted.

OP posts:

Original poster

MyNameIsSuz · 03/03/2015 20:08

Hopeful bump?

OP posts:

freelancegirl · 03/03/2015 20:19

Hi there. So sorry for you loss. That must have been a real shock. I've heard so many stories of uncaring and uninformative doctors when it comes to miscarriage. It's really unfair. I guess they see it every day and are immune to it so they forget how awful it can be for us and also that we need details as to what might happen next.

I've had several miscarriages but the one I had similar to yours was pretty hideous. 12 week scan revealed it had died a few weeks previously despite still feeling pregnant. I was sent home to miscarry naturally. I will be honest with you. It hurt like hell. I had proper contractions that literally floored me. So much so that when I did finally have a baby (have had two now) I went straight for an ELCS. It was really really painful and upsetting, you still have to pass the sac and that might come in clots or one go.

I do know people (I have a lot to do with miscarriages now!) who don't have that pain so please don't necessarily think it will happen to you. I just wanted to prepare you just in case as doctors don't really tell you these things.

I have had 3 ERPCs and although I was pretty scared of a general anaesthetic found these got things over and done with a lot quicker.

People are generally very supportive here on the mc boards, I am sure more will be along shortly.

Sorry again to hear you're going through this.

freelancegirl · 03/03/2015 20:22

Oh to answer another question my hospital usually arranges the ERPC. I wouldn't go for medical management personally, I would choose surgical. Call again tomorrow and see if you can arrange it sooner?

Original poster

MyNameIsSuz · 03/03/2015 21:03

Thank you, sorry to hear it's happened to you too. I think surgical could be the right way to go, I just want it to be over quickly. I've decided I'm going to call tomorrow and see what they say, hopefully I can move it up.

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freelancegirl · 03/03/2015 21:10

If you want it over with quickly definitely surgical option. It's not painful at all, physically, and as well as getting rid of the pregnancy (sorry) quicker it also helps your cycles come back quicker. Having a natural miscarriage (which medical management aims to induce) can take a lot longer and I know of many people who have then had to have surgical procedures at the end of that anyway. Hope you manage to move it forward.

Original poster

MyNameIsSuz · 03/03/2015 21:16

Thanks, that really helps clarify things, it sounds like that's definitely the right thing to do.

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Stoatystoat · 04/03/2015 15:44

I am so sorry for your loss. Feel free to get in touch if you need to chat, I've been going through a MMC too. If you can tolerate the surgery then go for it, I decided medical and it's not over yet and I'm looking at the possibility of surgery still now.

It's such a shitty time. You have my sympathies.

Original poster

MyNameIsSuz · 04/03/2015 16:04

Thanks, my sympathies to you too! I called today and managed to get my scan appointment moved to Monday and surgery for the same day (unless a miracle occurs).

It's shit and I'm sure will be worse once things start happening. I've been going to work this week as I thought I'd need the time more afterwards, it's taken my mind off it a bit but my boss has been really off with me which has made me feel like utter crap. I suspect I am feeling overly sensitive.

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Stoatystoat · 04/03/2015 17:45

I've been feeling paranoid/sensitive too so it's quite possible you're at a heightened state at the moment. Emotions running high.

It's a fortnight since mine got picked up and I've not been back to work since, I go back on Monday. I'm lucky I work where I do as my boss has had two mc and very supportive.

It's hard it being this drawn out though.

Original poster

MyNameIsSuz · 04/03/2015 21:38

That's good that they've been supportive, mine are too really but boss has been kind of cold and annoyed with me all week, which I'm aware might be more me than her.

I agree completely, it's the fact it's so drawn out that makes it harder.

Good luck on Monday, hopefully you'll feel back to normal soon.

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shieldbug · 04/03/2015 21:47

Op, so sorry to hear what you are going through.
I have been having a natural mc since Saturday. It's long, painful, traumatic and exhausting. I wasn't given any other option as I'd already started bleeding when I got my scan. Taking the surgical route is probably for the best as in my case I'm not convinced that everything has come out yet (despite passing many enormous clots) and may need surgery anyway. Make sure you take off plenty of time off to recover physically but also to allow yourself space to grieve. If work is difficult, it may be a good idea to take leave now (if you can) and give yourself the chance to start to come to terms with what is happening. Do put yourself first and look after yourself. Much sympathy.

Original poster

MyNameIsSuz · 04/03/2015 21:57

Oh that's tough shieldbug, poor you. Have they given you a date for a follow up appointment?

And I'm sure you are, but make sure you take your own advice and look after yourself.

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shieldbug · 04/03/2015 22:00

suz I have my 2nd scan on Friday so I'll know better what is going on then. I'm finding it hard to follow my advice with 2 lively ds to look after ! luckily they are cheering me up no end and take my mind off things wonderfully.

Original poster

MyNameIsSuz · 04/03/2015 22:02

I agree, I only have one but he's two and a half and a lovely distraction! I think it's easier for having him around.

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babyangelbean20315 · 10/03/2015 17:03

How is things ? Sorry for your loss, mine was similar found out at 12 weeks , I did surgery when u go t. Sleep, have u had any better treatment from the hospital yet ?

Original poster

MyNameIsSuz · 10/03/2015 17:09

Well I had another appointment yesterday for a confirmation scan, and they were lovely, I'd been booked in for the surgery the same day. It didn't go ahead as the scan measurements didn't match the ones from last week - sac still the same but foetal pole bigger. I have to go back next week again to confirm the mmc. So still in limbo and don't know what to do with myself. Have had some light bleeding so hopefully it will happen by itself.

How long ago was yours?

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babyangelbean20315 · 12/03/2015 14:22

Mine was in September, still not back to normal yet I'm glad they were good with you this time mine started on its own the day before my surgery and then I had the option to go on my own or ave the op, I had the op to make sure there was nothing left to cause the process to go on longer than already necessary

I wish u the best in these difficult times xx

Tifftops · 13/03/2015 18:16

It's Friday 13th just home from an ERED MMC at 12 weeks just 1 perfect placenta and empty sac - had to wait a week for the era. Had started to naturally miscarry with contractions like early labour - so pleased I had the surgery already feel better with the first afternoon in months of no all day nausea. Just wanted to say how much people sharing their good, happy, bad and sad news helps and how many wonderful brave people there are out there!

Tifftops · 13/03/2015 18:17

Autocorrect nightmare should have read ERPC!

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