Miscarriage at 11 weeks. Any experiences of the different options?

[Minnie74]

Hi today I am 11 + 5 weeks pregnant. At 10 weeks we had a scan and saw the baby wriggling and waving. Yesterday we had another reassurance scan following very very light spotting on Wednesday. The baby had no heartbeat. I am just totally devastated. I was three days from my 12 week scan.
This is my 3rd mc though the other two were both at 6 weeks and were natural at home. Horrible but coped with ok. This is so different. I have no bleeding and really don't know what to do. I have another scan at the hospital tomorrow. I just don't know what choice to make. Does any one have experiences to share of the different options?
I'm 40 with one ds who is 3. I so don't want him to be an only child but time and the chances of it happening feel like they're running out. I had a mc in aug and this just felt like it was going to work out, especially after seeing the baby and it all being exactly as it should be. I know I'll just be told well you're 40 what do you expect! Why is nature so bloody cruel? I just want to go back to that happy scan day!

so sorry to hear this, it's horrible.

We had a similar experience at our 12 week scan when we learned our baby had no heartbeat and stopped growing at 9 weeks. We opted for medical management mainly so we knew when it was going to happen.
If you want more details as to what this entailed, let me know and I can tell you more.
Hugs to you

Thanks milkandchalk is medical management the not surgery option? Did you stay in hospital? Was it hard to deal with seeing the baby? And was it quick? Sorry for all the questions- just a bit overwhelmed with what to do. X

I had 2 mc the year I was 42; one at 11+ weeks and the 2nd at 7+ weeks.

I opted for ERPC both times, under GA. It was quick and painfree. With the second I reacted to the GA so they kept me in overnight.

Got pregnant 2 months after the 2nd mc while trying to decide whether to try again and the result is now almost 8 yo

indantherene that's useful thanks. I've read more positives about ERPC than negatives. I'm worried about the ga as I have a few allergies which have started randomly. Would be my luck to be allergic to it! The fact you had a successful pg after two mc had given me some hope. Feel like my age is against me!

I had ERPC last September when I would have been about 12 weeks. In and out in half a day, no pain at all. The worst part was having to wait for over a week for the surgery date during which time I had some pain and bleeding. I got pg again virtually straight away, now 21 weeks. All the best for whatever happens.

I had an ercp in November after a missed miscarriage and honestly it was absolutely fine I'm so glad I didn't decide on the medical management.

Oh I meant to say so sorry for your loss xx

Hi Minnie,

with the medical.management, I had tablets to dissolve under my tongue. which essentially cleared.everything in my womb out.
It took about 9 hours after taking the tablets then I got a gush from down there.
I stayed in the hospital the whole time and ended up staying overnight as things were moving very slowly and I was still passing clots.
I didn't see the baby, the hospital insisted on putting bed pans into the loo every time I went (and they collected everything!!). My husband was with me when it happened and he helped me to not look, I got up, wiped, washed my hands and left the loo and got the nurse to take it away.
It was a very very long day and the whole process took a while- apparently I was slower than most people.
xx

Minnie you have pretty much my exact story. Three miscarriages after a problem free pregnancy with my son at 37 now 40 and had surgery a week ago under GA because of a MMC at 11+2.

My hospital didn't recommend medical management once past 9 weeks. I wanted MVU under LA but the wait was 2 weeks and they didn't want me to wait. So had MVA under GA a few days later.

It was absolutely fine, the only annoying aspect was waiting on the day as my surgery was bumped to the afternoon. One week on I am having some discomfort and am contemplating seeing the GP tomorrow to rule out a bladder infection.

I couldn't face miscarriaging at home though so the surgical option was really the only choice for me.

So sorry for your loss. There is a Recurrent Miscarriage thread that is extremely active, might be worth joining us as there are a lot of pregnant ladies on it who have held their pregnancies due to low dose steroid/progesterone/heparin protocols.

Thank you minkypinky fortyfacedfuckers I appreciate you sharing. Most people seem to have a good experience with it, it seems. If it can be called a good experience obviously.
milkandchalk that actually doesn't sound as horrible as I was imagining it to be. More like my other two early mcs. Was it very painful? Part of me feels like I should do it this way. I don't know like I owe it to the baby. I know that probably doesn't make sense. I sort of feel like being asleep would be easy for me but hard for the baby. Makes even less sense I know.
sebsmummy1 given the choice of ERPC or at home I would make that choice too. I just am still wondering about the medical management. I'm a little worried that the ERPC might cause scarring and cause problems with trying to conceive. It took a year anyway. Well till mc2 (Mc1 was before ds) Then 3 months after we got pg with this baby. I will look at that thread. I think I'm going to need the advice!

minnie you are not alone experiencing this. I think we are the same age going by your username.

I had a mc at 7-8 weeks and then an mmc at 12 weeks. I didn't have any reassurance scan because we couldn't afford it. I was getting my hopes up given I survived till the 12 week NHS scan with no bleeding. It was devastating when I saw the scan. I wore maternity trousers from my first pregnancy to the scan because I couldn't fit my normal trousers anymore. I didn't understand how my body didn't know what had happened to the baby. A few days after the scan I started bleeding very heavily, admitted into A&E and had a ERPC the same day. It was under GA. I stayed in the hospital that evening to recover. The procedure was painless.

I can't remember how long it took for me to get pregnant again but I think it was over a year. I was constantly worried something would go wrong. I didn't relax until after the 20 week scan. My DD2 is 5mo.

minnie I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm on same recurrent MC thread as Sebs and its so supportive. Some wonderful ladies.

I had my 3rd MC in January and that was my 2nd Erpc and for me it was absolutely the best option. I was too frightened and distressed to do at home.

I needed to go to sleep and it all be over. Irony is I found the cannula in my hand more painful than ERPC

Thinking of you, please come and join us on recurrent MC thread xx

I know how heartbreaking it is, seeing a heartbeat and baby at a scan and then just a week later it's gone.

I've had both medical management and an ERPC. I think the latter was more "scary" but the better and easier to deal with option. I still bled for about 14 days but it was light and free of clots. It was much kinder though to me emotionally.

I am a graduate of both the recurrent MC and pregnant after MC thread. I find it very supportive too.

I'm really sorry. I had a mc at 12.5 weeks at home. It was the right choice for me but more painful than I expected, also took a long time (2.5 weeks from scan confirming the baby had died). I know you said home is prob not for you but I'm happy to answer if you want to know any more. Wishing you well.

it wasn't painful really. At its worst, just before it all came out it was like really bad period cramps which came and went

twolittleterrors it's so cruel isn't it. I still felt preg until today when all sickness has gone. Though to be fair it started to fade from wed which was when the baby died so maybe I was just in denial. Getting preg again is worrying me as I am getting on a bit and don't know if I can face this again!
brummiegirl15 ooh canulas do really hurt. I had one for ds as I had group b strep. I made more fuss for that than I did the epidural! I will definitely check out the recurrent thread tomorrow- thanks x
Thanks for replying saltyseabird I think that's upset me the most. Seeing everything fine one week and all gone ten days later. I just wanted to scream at the unfairness of it. I have to have another scan tomorrow at the Epu and am so sad thinking about seeing it again. Ive never had a ga so find the idea of the op pretty scary.
celticpromise both of my other mcs were natural at home but were at only 6 weeks. I found it painful like you said but able to handle it. I'm scared of that at 11 weeks as having seen the baby moving and its heart beating it feels more real this time. I seemed to compartmentalise better with the early mcs- largely as I was bleeding at 5 weeks with both. I worry about passing the baby too. What happens to it? I don't know if I could handle seeing it. Thanks for replying x
Thanks milkandchalk my other two mcs were like that. I'd read that medical management was more painful as it was quicker. So that helps-thanks.

So sorry to hear about your miscarriage.

I also had a miscarriage at 11.5 weeks towards the end of last year. It all happened very quickly, got very painful and the bleeding got very heavy to the extent that I had to go to a&e late at night. By this point I was haemorrhaging. A couple of attempts were made at the hospital to remove fist sized blood clots from my cervix. I also passed most of the pregnancy, but not all. Because of this my body just kept pumping out more blood and clots to try to expel the remains. I've never seen so much blood in my life, or been so scared. Eventually, at 3am, they had to take me to theatre for an emergency erpc. I was also scared about this having never had a ga before. But the surgery was totally fine. I hardly bled at all afterwards, but took several weeks to recover due to my iron levels being left extremely low.

I swore that if I ever had the misfortune to end up in that situation again I'd go straight for the erpc to avoid the risk of haemorrhaging again. I had no idea that sort of bleeding could happen with a miscarriage.

I hope that, whatever you decide, you have a speedy recovery, both physically and emotionally and sorry again for your loss.

To add I wanted the tissue sent off for analysis to see if there was an explanation so it made sense to go the surgical route as they would be no potential contamination.
I also had two 6 week losses and agree they were fine at home as it was basically blood loss with a few clots. A 12 week sac just felt terrifying us my body had no idea at all the pregnancy had ceased so I knew it would be a bad old road to get there. If I had been bleeding I would probably have tried to pass it at home.

notamumyet81 oh god that sounds awful. It just have been so scary. Thanks for sharing that. I'm glad the ERPC sorted it out and you're ok now.
sebsmummy we definitely have a very similar story! I would like the option of tests but am not sure they'll do it as this is only my second consecutive mc (the first was before ds). We're having another scan this afternoon so I'll find out the options then I guess.

Minnie I found my EPAU so helpful by comparison to my GP in regard to recurrent MC. Why not ask them if you could be referred to their recurrent assessment unit for further tests and see what they say. Due to age it would be far better to get things ruled out at this stage than expect you to risk another pregnancy.

It's an extremely shit situation. I wod give anything to have met my fiancée earlier and started TTC earlier but alas that didn't happen and we are now well entrenched in miscarriage territory.

I will keep trying and hope we find a good egg. I am pretty allergic to opks and hpts now though as they have brought me so much pain, but hopefully a few cheeky shags mid cycle might work, you never know.

Lots of love to you. Wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy xx

I would recommend the op when u go to sleep, dno what it is called but it is simple and u don't have to deal with all of the mess and emotions that come with the mess :(

Thanks sebsmummy1 I met my husband later too (was married before without kids- thankfully!) I will definitely ask about the testing. I'd like to try again but Dh isn't so sure. It was always me pushing it before but he's even less inclined now. This has upset him too.
My cycles were all over the place so I had acupuncture which seems to have sorted them. We'd looked into fertility treatment but my tests all came back saying I'm fine (younger than 40 medically speaking apparently) so we thought we'd see how we went. Clearly not any issues with getting preg just staying preg! Effing old eggs! At 11 weeks I really thought we'd be ok. I'm just so mad at the moment. Why can't I be ten years younger!!!!

It's up to you what happens to the baby if you mc at home. MC Association has a leaflet about it. I wanted to see the baby (not for everyone I know) and buried it somewhere special to me.

I hope you are able to get some answers.

Minnie I hear you. It took us right months to conceive the one I just lost and I too saw it moving around with a strong heart beat at past 9 weeks. Week and a half later the heart beat had stopped. I too thought we were out of the woods but obviously not and yep I constantly wish I was ten years younger.

I am suspecting the NHS tests will come back with no explanation (simply because I hear this is very often the case). So we are going to have some private testing done too.

I had a meltdown in my consultation pre- surgery because I was so concerned about the risks and potentially being unable to carry anymore babies because of the surgery. They were very very sensitive to my concerns and assured me they would be as gentle as they could whilst obviously needing to ensure all the tissue was removed. The doctor performing the surgery came to see me in the morning and again reiterated how she took my concerns very seriously and had lots of empathy with my situation being a Mother herself. So they really couldn't have done more.