Where to from here

[flora717]

This is probably the wrong place for this: Last year I had 2 miscarriages and a third suspected miscarriage. Since then we discussed giving up trying because enquiries to the Dr were very much 'these things happen / not much to do'. For the last 2 weeks I've had bleeding. Yes, it occurred to me it could be a miscarriage but essentially as I am 39 and my mother had menopause at 38 I really thought it was more that, as I've also had very strange sleep lately, my skin has gone strange and my emotions are all over the place. I didn't take a pregnancy test because really the period was, if anything, early (no longer tracking) and we hadn't had a great deal of sex in the month as my husband was away for work.
I made an appointment today with dr. she made me take a test. It was negative (Not a surprise to me). The dr is not interested in discussing possible menopause with me as she doubts it's that. I don't think I've miscarried, now neither does she. She said she wont refer me because and doesn't feel there are any relevant tests. I am so low and angry with my body. My periods (until now) have been clockwork. I have no idea what is wrong with me and the dr made it pretty plain i was wasting her time. I saw her because one of the other dr's last time I went was considering referal but said he'd talk to her / I should see her because this is her specialism. I am very lost now. I've been crying all morning from sheer frustration. I suppose I thought she'd have some sort of 'yes it sounds like early menopause' thing to say. But she was fairly plain that is unlikely and that as I hadn't even checked for pregnancy I was just wasting everyone's time.
Sorry, I've rambled. Has anyone had bleeding for more than 2 weeks that was neither a m/c nor menopause related? If so, when is the appropriate time to see a dr?
Thanks

Hi flora I'm sorry you had such an unsympathetic reception. If it was an early MC it wouldn't be a massive surprise to get a negative test after a fortnight of bleeding, but without an initial positive test I doubt you are going to get far with that line of thought. Why was she so dismissive of early menopause if there's a family history? I thought age of your mother at menopause was the strongest predictor of when you'll go through it. Do you want to TTC again or have you drawn a line under it now? I think the answer to that is the decider whether to pursue RMC testing ( which 3 losses last year qualifies you for, irrespective of what's currently happening) or ho mone tests wrt menopause/ovarian reserve. Either way I'd go back and see a different doctor. You are v welcome on the RMC thread here if you have any questions about testing, plenty of us are a similar vintage.

Thanks. After last year H and I had I suppose 'drawn a line' mostly using birth control but generally just working on the basis I am heading into menopause now.
I think I irritated her because I really do feel menopause is on me and she was clear this is unlikely.
I hadn't tested as our chance for pregnancy would have been very much an 'out there' as the two mc last year I was tracking ovulation, eating really well, we still struggled to get pregnant.
I realise testing might have been sensible. But i guess positive pregnancy tests hold no meaning now, so I'd left it.

Did she listen to the bit about your mum? I would think the 'average' 39 yr old is unlikely to be menopausal, but your family history means it's a real possibility. She sounds awful either way, I hope someone else at your practice is more sympathetic.

Thanks. My husband is pretty pissed off he wants me to go back. I am just not able to face it today. Such a head wreck.
It is really annoying she didn't seem to absorb why I think menopause. She heard me, but said 'that shouldn't affect you'. I think to be fair that's where I disengaged and stopped having a point to being there. I think I will wait until I've stopped bleeding now. Maybe my hormones will get back under enough control to stop all these tears

I'd go back (and perhaps see another doctor), and ask for a referral to a gynaecologist. You've had two/three miscarriages, which usually merits further investigation, plus you have a mother who had a very early menopause, so your worries should not be cast aside without some investigation.

Don't write yourself off just yet for menopause. My Mum went through menopause at 37. I'm 38 and been pregnant 3 times in last year alone. Sadly they've all miscarried but I've been told I'm still ovulating.

My Mum reminds me to take her age with a pinch of salt as my Gran and my aunt were "knocking them out well into their forties apparently"

As you've had 3 mc's you are absolutely entitled to rmc testing and don't let anyone fob you off.

As Baking said, the rmc thread really is very supportive .

I'm so sorry for the hard time you are going through

Thanks Brummie. I seem to recall one of our miscarriages (I am a regular namechanger) were around the same time last year. Sorry to hear you've gone through more as well.