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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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2 CPS and terrified of another

3 replies

jdear · 14/01/2015 11:56

Hi all, I'm just wondering if anyone can relate to what I've been through so far and/or can provide some positive stories? I'm 27 and my DH and I are ttc our first.

We started ttc in may last year, 6 cycles in total (we've had a little break since then). I usually get af on 12dpo. On the 2nd cycle, I started with a brown discharge on 10dpo (I never get pre-af spotting). I tested thinking it was implantation, bfn up until 14dpo when I got the faintest bfp imaginable on 3 ICs then my period started an hour later. The spotting had been consistent since 10dpo. Once my period was over (which was just like normal) I got a bfn.

Cycle 6, I again started with a brown discharge on 11dpo which again continued. On 13dpo I got a bfp on frer. In the next few days i got stronger bfps and 1-2 weeks on a digital. After about 4 further days I went to the gp who reassured me it was normal however a day later I passed a fingernail sized clot then the next day had a bleed, so thought it was over. However I continued to spot and a few days after that did another frer for closure and it was an even stronger bfp! Few days later, went to epau who wouldn't scan as I was less than 6 weeks but did a test which was bfn (on VERY diluted urine as I had drank lots of water expecting a scan!) and said I'd had a miscarriage. 4 days later I started bleeding heavily for around 5 days and it's only then that my symptoms went and eventually it all stopped. So I'm not sure exactly at which point I had the miscarriage - somewhere between 4.5 and 6 weeks.

So 2 early miscarriages which were very different but they started off the same. I'm terrified of going through it again and finding out I have a problem with implantation. For me, pregnancy means spotting at around 10dpo and if I see this again I'm going to freak as it has both times led to miscarriage (I'm trying to tell myself it might have just been implantation). I don't want to go to the gp for blood tests yet as I have a phobia so I just want to give myself another go.

OP posts:
lexi12 · 14/01/2015 12:30

I've had a mc at 12 weeks, another at 4 weeks and I think I've had another super early one (a very faint positive then heavy bleeding, now neg again). I'm not going back to the docs and I've given up. Maybe I should be happy with my little girl and leave it there. But if you've had 3 mc in a row you can get testing to find out why and get you help. Go back to your docs, kick up a huge fuss and get some help. No one will help you but you. Good luck xxx

jdear · 14/01/2015 12:41

Thanks for your reply lexi, I'm so sorry to hear about your losses. Don't give up!

When I went to the GP about my second one I mentioned the first one to him and I don't think he believed me - he hadn't even heard of a chemical pregnancy! I will give it another go and if the same thing happens then I will kick up a fuss. I think I will ask to see a different gp too.

It was a difficult few months, particularly the second one but I can't even begin to imagine what you and other ladies who have had mc further on have been through Flowers

OP posts:
lexi12 · 14/01/2015 13:14

I tell myself I've got one. I should be happy and leave it there. Tried to explain to my hubby why I'm so heart broken and he doesn't listen to me. Just goes on about being positive. Right now I'm mourning the 3 I've lost in rapid succession and can't get past it. My doc just tells me I'm depressed (no shit) and my hubby thinks me getting pregnant will solve that. I'm only 28 (had my daughter at 26) and a sahm (I left teaching to focus on her) and shes stopped napping. I really don't think I can cope with yet anothet mc and trips to and from docs and hospitals with her. It's not fun and she screams when we enter the epu because shes seen me stuck with so many needles. So don't want to go back. Hence why I want to give up. I didn't have an easy pregnancy and now I can't rest when I'll need too.

I wish you good luck and hope you get your baby dust. It will be worth it xx

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