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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

1 month after mc

5 replies

debz24 · 09/01/2015 12:40

I was told on the 1st of Dec I had miscarried and I was 6 wks 6 days. I was devastated as having children is all I ever wanted. I was messed around in the hospital and made everything worse for me. As I work with children it was so hard for me to go back to work after a week. Knowing I was bleeding and knowing I was just flushing my baby down the toilet was heart breaking. I'm still not coping so well one month on is it because I haven't spoke to anybody about it or am I just over reacting it's hard for me to accept what has happened to me. I know I was early on but it doesn't make it any easier I was so excited for my own little baby. I have had an ovary removed and have had abnormal cells removed which resulted in the shorting of my womb is that the reason I mc so many thoughts so little ways to stop thinking. Will this happen every time I get pregnant I'm so depressed it's crazy. When will it get better or will it just never go away this pain in my heart :( need someone to speak to!!

OP posts:
Flower29 · 09/01/2015 13:26

So sorry for your loss Debz, it's a horrific thing to go through. I had a MMC bsck in sep and it took me a few months to start feeling better and I felt quite low 1 month after so I think this is quite normal. One week is very soon to go back to work, especially in your role, is it possible for you to have more time off? I've had a few mths off (after returning too soon after a couple of weeks) and it really helped me to be able focus on myself and my lost baby.
Sorry I don't have any answers about why it happened, maybe speak to your gp and see if you can get any answers. I think a lot of the time a mc is pure bad luck and most women go on to have a healthy pregnancy. It is very difficult to accept tho, I still think about what I ate and did and whether anything caused it. Keep posting on here, it will help to talk to others who know what you're going through. Take care x

bakingtins · 09/01/2015 13:32

debz i'm so sorry that you lost your baby. A month is really a short period of time, it's not reasonable to expect you ( or for you to expect yourself?) to be over a loss so rapidly. If it would help to talk to someone the Miscarriage Association have a phone line, or they may be able to put you in touch with a local support group. It's often quite therapeutic just to keep posting somewhere like this - you realise there are an awful lot of women out there who have been through similar.
I don't know if your gynae history puts you at higher risk, that's something to ask the doctor who treated you before trying again, but the background incidence of miscarriage is quite high at 15% of confirmed pregnancies, and having one miscarriage does not increase your risk of it happening in a future pregnancy.
Have you done anything to commemorate your LO? I have a special plant for each of my losses in the garden, others have found comfort in choosing a piece of jewellery, lighting a candle, releasing a balloon, buying a charity gift in memory...

debz24 · 10/01/2015 12:25

Thank you for writing back to me. It helps that your kind words and your help will help me. I think I will continue to keep on this sight as it has made me realise I'm not just the only one feeling this pain. I have asked for 2 weeks off work and my boss is so understanding of this. Thank you again :)

OP posts:
stickingpoint2 · 12/01/2015 17:39

I'm glad you're taking a bit more time from work. The constant mind turning does take it's emotional toll. Be kind to yourself.

kateyes · 14/01/2015 16:04

Hi debz24
firstly I am so sorry for you're loss,
I can relate
On december the 18th my husband and i were really excited for our 20 wk scan.counted down the days.
But sat 13th dec i started bleeding lightly.
working in labour ward i wasnt alarmed as i knew it could be minor.
After hrs in triage and a scan we discoverd our baby had sadly passed away at 19wks
our hearts sunk as we dropped to the floor.
our whole world came crashing down.
I had to have a tablet,and be induced for 7hrs labour to bring our baby in the world.and give it away.
i was torn and devastated.
only now 4weeks and its been a really long 4 weeks,have i started to adjust and except.
everywere i go i see pregnant women and babies and it tears me apart.
but slowly i am accepting it. We have our babies funeral mon 19th and its gonna be so hard 4 us to say goodbye.
i didnt realise untill now how many women go through this heartache.
ur prob asking urself will it happen again??
can i conceive again??? Was it my fault.
i have asked these questions so many times.
all you can do is let nature take its course and try not to be so hard on urself.
i hope everything works out 4u.
hugs x

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