Hi, my story is quite long but I need to share it. I feel stupid and irresponsible right now.
My hubby and I finally decided to try for our first back in 2012. My pregnancy was not a great one and I was in and out of hospital with bleeding throughout. But in feb 2013 I had my gorgeous little bundle. Then summer last year we decided to try for a bro or sis for my daughter. First month we conceived. We were over the moon. Once again I had bleeding at the start but didn't panic because this happened last time. I had a few scans as had a couple of scares but baby was growing. We last saw it on the 11th nov. Heartbeat, kicking away. A perfect baby. I was over 11 weeks so we thought great we can relax a bit (even though I'd had the scan due to loosing a very big clot). On the 14th I started contractions and had my baby. No one could and still hasn't explained why. I bled for 4 weeks before I was scaned and found I still had 'products' retained so that eve I had an erpc. I continued bleeding for 2 more weeks. Meanwhile my hubby had moved on and was eager to try again. I wasn't. Needless to say we went away to try to escape all my pregnant friends and sil and we had an accident. Although this time I started to bleed from the moment it was concieved and didn't stop for 4 weeks. By this time blood tests had prooved that I had lost another baby. But this time probably due to the fact that my body wasn't ready. This had a toll on my mental health and my doc is trying to get me on pills (I won't do it). I got my hubby to agree to wait to let my body heal a bit after 2 in a row. I am now waiting on my period which by my calculations is 3 days late. I have been spotting (similar to the start of my pregnancy with my daughter) and took a test this morning which showed an incredibly faint positive (so faint I'm not sure if I was making it up). We weren't careful 1 day last month but we were hoping my ovulation had been and gone and it was xmas. I'm terrified. But have had all my early pregnancy symptoms (sore boobs, sickness, increased weeing and irrational hatred towards my hubby, strange I know but this is how I get from 3ish weeks and after having it 3 times for 3 pregnancys I think I know it now :-( )
I don't know what I'm hoping for posting here but I'm so scared and don't know what to do. I don't know if I can handle a 3rd mc. Not 3 consecutive pregnancies all ending horribly. I can't believe its 3 in a row. I wanted a break. :-(