Myself and my husband went for our 12 week scan on Monday to find that our baby had died at around 9 weeks. We are devastated - this was a much wanted baby and we had been ttc for almost a year. We had an early scan at 7 weeks 4 days and we were elated that there was a heartbeat, as I had very little symptoms apart from some constipation (ironically I had expressed concerns about mmc to my doctor having been told that my friend had recently gone through the same thing, and she kindly referred me for a 'reassurance' scan). We decided to be more positive about the pregnancy once we saw a hb although we knew that we weren't out of the woods until the dating scan. Everything seemed to be going fine and we were looking forward to getting the scan out of the way so that we could share the news with our friends and families over Christmas. Over the weekend I was panicked to find that there was a very very small amount of tan colour in my discharge, but reading other posts I felt reassured that this was common. Even now, I'm not convinced that this was a sign. I feel I didn't have any signs as I had little symptoms in first place. Oddly, the weekend just before it must have died, I had 2 days of feeling very sick and I assumed that the morning sickness was kicking in - since then I occasionally felt a bit sicky between meals. So nothing could prepare us for the scan which was (apart from my father passing away) the most painful experience I have ever had. As soon as I saw the screen I could see that there was no movement and eventually the doc focused in on a lifeless mass. Having followed my babies progress everyday, reading websites and looking at examples of scans, I knew this was not right and started crying. The doctors asked if I could be less far along, but I knew this wasn't the case. I had to have an internal scan to confirm what I already knew (I think my poor husband was still in denial). We then got taken to another clinic for further tests and we discussed options as to how to proceed. I was distraught, my husband was crushed, but we were able to make the decision that a ERCP was really the only way to proceed. The doctor was not pushy in the slightest, but I heard her colleague quietly recommend the surgical procedure when I was getting dressed. I was told that there is likely to be a lot of bleeding and I read in between the lines that this could be traumatic. I am now at home waiting for the procedure in 2 days time and the bleeding has begun with slight cramping. I still think the surgical procedure is the right thing for us so that hopefully we will get closure and start thinking about moving on. In the meantime, I am incredibly frightened about being put to sleep whilst also dealing with the emotional impact of this devastating news. It's awful knowing that I am carrying still. I know that it is still technically an embryo, but this doesn't take away from the fact that we were going to love this child and our hope and dreams for the future as we knew it 2 days ago have now gone and we are grieving for this 'embryo' who didn't make it. I feel that we will never enjoy the feeling of being pregnant again (if we are lucky enough for it to happen again) as we will always be fearful of this happening again. I was always aware that mc were common and that a mmc was a possibility, but nothing can prepare you for the pain and devastation you feel. I know deep down that we will bounce back from this and me and my husband keep saying that the main thing is that we have each other, but this is very hard. Thank you for reading my post.