How to cope being in limbo

[dottiek]

Hello. I just wanted to say how supportive I have found all your posts. At the moment I am in limbo and not sure how to handle things.

Found out I was pregnant on 16th November but had heavy bleed after sex the week before. I mentioned this to the GP when I went on 18 November and he said not to worry and did an internal and said all looked ok. I got more spotting after the internal but put this down to after effects of GP having a rummage about down there. This weekend I was getting spotting and cramps so phoned EPU. They booked me in for a scan on Tuesday just gone.

They found a small sac with something tiny in it but weren't sure what. They felt I could've got my dates wrong but also couldn't rule out an ectopic as it could've been a false sac they saw. They took bloods and hcg level was 999 which was too low for 7 weeks pregnant but did correspond to size of sac. I went back to say for more bloods and they were hoping that the hcg would've doubled in that time. Unfortunately it hasn't - it increased but only to 1100.

I am still spotting and feel very crampy.

I now have to go back on Tuesday for more bloods and a scan to see what has happened.

During the pregnancy I haven't felt pregnant apart from sore boobs at the start. None of this sounds very hopeful does it?

If the pregnancy has ended I just want this bit to be all over with. I don't understand why my body is keeping hold of it still. surely if I have been spotting since Saturday it can't carry on much longer can it?

Thanks for listening.

some people spot throughout i think ? i had a mc in sept an pretty much as soon as the bleeding got a bit heavier than spotting i did a test and it was negative sometimes happens very quick sometimes not no answers just put my 2 pence in

Sorry for what you are going through dottie it's v hard to cope with the limbo. I'm assuming the earliest you got a BFP was at around 4 weeks, what was seen on your scan is not hopeful, a definite embryo with a strong heartbeat should be visible by 7 weeks and blood HCG should be doubling in 48 hours. Miscarriage around the 5-6 week mark is v commonly due to genetic issues in the embryo, but often it takes your body a little while to catch up ( a " missed" miscarriage)
The policy that says any embryo measuring around that 5-6 week mark with no heartbeat must be rescanned in a week is v hard on you when you are certain of dates, but they have to be sure before doing anything active to end a pregnancy.
Thinking of you

Thanks Bakingtins.

Yes my BFP was at 4 almost 5 weeks. Did tests on Internet cheap tests and they were a bit rubbish but I got a quick result of 2-3 weeks on clear blue digital.

I do understand why they have to wait the week to see how things have changed (or not) as they need to be 100% sure. Me and my husband are struggling with it, not that it has ended as such although obviously we are absolutely gutted by that, we are struggling with the in limbo bit.

I get upset that my body is failing to recognise the pregnancy has ended and just let go. I know it may sound heartless but I need to be over this bit so I can move on mentally and then think about trying again.

Thank you for your support.

It doesn't sound heartless at all - it's very difficult emotionally. Don't be too hard on yourself - how about trying to see the point of view that your body is doing it's best to protect and nurture the pregnancy, and that next time when there is a viable embryo in there growing normally, it will do exactly the right thing.