A thread to offer support over the festive season

[impatientlywaiting14]

Hi all
So with the festive season fast approaching I am trying to keep positive but can't help being very aware after an early mc I should now be walking around with a large bump. I would have been due in January. I usually love christmas but i think with knowing what i should planning now and seeing how the reality has panned out this year i feel flat . I have spoken to a friend briefly about it but don't want to be seen as dwelling on and just want to seem like I am trying to get on with things.

I read a thread a couple of months back where many posters said they were finding the thought of Christmas difficult. I thought I should set up this thread so we could offer each other much needed support and hand holding , espically to those that would be due there Christmas baby.
There is also the miscarriage association site and helpline which has helped me in hard times. There is also the lights of love tree to post a special message to our angel babys.
I really hope this thread helps all of you struggling or just needing a listening ear
XXX

Hi all, mind if I join? I started bleeding on Sunday at 11+5 and MMC was confirmed on Monday afternoon. I have had pain and bleeding/clots all week and still bleeding today. Feeling very sad and numb. I was counting the days to Christmas so we could tell friends and family our happy news. My OH has been great and although he is hurting, is putting on a brave front for me and saying encouraging things. I still feel very alone in all of this though.

Hi, I just found this thread after a despairing shop. My first miscarriage this year was in May and though the due date past in Nov with relatively minor pain today hurt so badly to not be drifting around with a baby snuggled in a sling (my DD's are older now but I still have their sling and hope). I'm so sorry to read all these stories, my second pregnancy this year would have seen me probably struggling around at 7 months.
Anyway. I gave up on the shopping after seeing a beautiful newborn being cuddled by their dad and I'm sat here massively low. My husband (second husband roo would have been his first) has sent an email about a holiday we've booked for this year, and I feel terribly alone in the sense that there is something very very wrong with all the festive planning and not a single nappy to wash or baby toy to trip over.
I wasn't expecting this emotion and I am fighting for enough control for the school run.

can I please join you all my dd eve was born at 18+2 in October I'm finding this so so hard this year I don't want to celebrate Christmas I just want to hide but I have a dd9 :( :( :( :(

It sucks, it really does. And this time of year makes me feel even less like I can talk about having just had a miscarriage, in a sea of pictures of babies dressed as Christmas puddings.

Friends of mine have developed the Inclusive Advent Calendar, which got a mention on the BBC, and today's reflection is on infertility and pregnancy loss. Personally, I'm atheist, but I like the calendar and what they're trying to do, and if it comforts someone here that will be great.

inclusiveadvent.co.uk/index.php?date=20

I'm so sorry for all your losses

I had my second mc last boxing day. I am now 33 weeks pg again which is wonderful but I feel like there is an air of sadness around this time regardless, a bit like I'm waiting for something awful to happen, and of course I really hope not, I just can't quite shake it.

Last year I took comfort in the fact that I could have a big wine or 5 after it happened. Didn't feel very Christmassy though. Don't know why I'm posting. Hope you all get through Christmas without too much sadness and that next year brings new possibilities for pregnancies xxx

I type as I lay here in bed teary after a difficult day, 6 weeks post mc; identical twins at 12 weeks who stopped developing around 8 weeks. I'm still in shock having found out I was carrying twins, not before realising there was no heartbeat at the 12 week scan.

I'm struggling with the Christmas cheer. It's taking so much energy to be smiley & chatty at family get togethers when all I want to do is be alone. I should have been having my 20 week scan around now and instead I'm waiting for the results of genetic screening on the fetuses.

I don't know how you all find the strength to try again. The thought of being pregnant and associating it with the joy it would deserve are so alien to me right now. I think it's my body's way of protecting me from more pain.

Little reminders are everywhere momentarily paralysing me.

I truly hope you all manage to find solace being surrounded by loved ones this Christmas, even though all you want is your baby.

Xx

It helps tremendously to read all of your stories on here.

Oh ladies. What very very sad stories. So nice to hear positive ones though, from people who understand what we're feeling but have had a happy ending.

To add mine to the thread, I had a tfmr in January following a fatal fetal condition diagnosed at 12 week scan. Then had a MMC in July. So would have had a five month old or a 8 month bump. Last Christmas I was newly pregnant and so excited.

Hugs to all of you. It's so hard not to make Christmas a milestone. And I am struggling with huge jealousy of friends celebrating their babies' first Christmases .

It's a vey isolating thing so this thread is a great idea. Wishing all of you so much luck in getting your sticky BFP soon.

I'm sorry that you're all going through this, it makes Xmas such a difficult time of year. I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of everyone going through this at this time of year. Two years ago on Xmas eve I lost a much wanted baby at 12 weeks, spending the night in a&e having emergency surgery wasn't the Xmas we had planned and it broke me for a long time.
Thankfully my story has a happy ending but I always take a bit of time today to remember and reflect. I hope you all get through Xmas and have the bpfs and babies you deserve in 2015.

Tough reading :( Thanks for sharing and thanks for the thread.

I was in hospital yesterday having a medically managed miscarriage - had early scan at seven weeks and all okay - saw heartbeat. Found out at nine weeks that baby had died sometime inbetween. Yesterday was godawful and I hope to never go through anything like that again.

I also mc'd in May at just over five weeks. I was due very early Jan.

Tough year. I have just turned 37 with no dc yet. So I am worried for our future - but not without hope yet. DP and I are strong but our resolve has been really tested this year :(

Fingers x for better things for us all in 2015 hey?

Hi hope peoples Christmas days have been ok. I lost several pregnancies this year at various stages up to 14 weeks and shod have been due Sept-Dec times. I've felt ok since October when a friend was due at the same time as my longest pregnancy and I managed to meet her new little one and felt ok. However today it hit me a bit- lots of friends celebrating with new babies and im just feel like there's someone missing. I'm very lucky to have ds aged 2 1/2 but just had a few waves of sadness hanging up 3 stockings etc. Hopefully now today is over the rest of Christmas season will be easier for everyone!

Hello ladies
Im really sorry for the delay in reply i was at the in-laws over Christmas and unable to get onto mumsnet then straight back to work after boxing day. My time since then has been split between work and visiting a relative in hospital who have not long left intensive care. I hope you all managened to enjoy seeing in the new year. I understand those of you who couldn't and am so very sorry for each of you. Over christmas and new year I have thought about all of you on this thread and send you all a big virtual hug. I hope for all of us 2015 proves to be better and bring us all some joy or at least comfort and peace. I feel in aid of the new year (although a few days or so late) it would be good to set up a new thread with new title for ongoing support for 2015 and beyond.

xxx