Bumps and babies everywhere...getting me down

[purpleflower23]

Hello,

I'm a newbie! I've been reading these boards for weeks and they've really helped but never posted anything before so please be gentle with me...!

I had a miscarriage 2 months ago at 11 weeks. It was my first pregnancy. DH and I were totally devastated and I sort of fell apart. Luckily my family and best friend were amazing and helped us get through it. I didn't know anyone who this had happened to and had no experience of it. I had no idea how high the odds were. Looking back, I feel very naive for just assuming that everything would be fine. I was consumed with thoughts of nursery decor and worrying about labour; miscarriage just hadn't even occurred to me. I've learnt a lot in the past two months!

Things are getting easier day by day but the one thing that is really getting me down at the minute is that there are pregnant ladies and newborn babies everywhere I go - friends/family members, at work, the shops, out and about, on TV... I've come off facebook because of all of the pregnancy announcements, scan photos, baby pics... it feels never ending and each one is like a little dagger in my heart.

I'm developing an irrational dislike for pregnant women and can't bear to see their bumps. I just keep thinking 'that should be me' and thinking about how many weeks I'd be now. I hate myself for feeling like this as I feel like a bad person.

I guess just wondered if anyone else was in a similar position? I really hope I'm not the only one to feel like this! I don't really know anyone else whose been through this so am just looking for a bit of hand holding I think.

Thankyou xx

They're everywhere aren't they? And yes, although it's still possible to feel happy for loved ones when they have happy news, each one brings your loss into stark relief. Facebook is a real minefield! Your feelings are perfectly normal and you're definitely not alone. Don't be too hard on yourself. Feeling like that does not make you a bad person.

So sorry for your loss

purpleflower you're definitely not the only one. Everyone I've spoken to whose been through MC has exactly the same feelings. I am so sorry for you loss. It is bloody hard

Hi purpleflower, as witch and bear have said it's completely normal to feel like this. Don't feel bad. I had a mmc at 12 weeks and was due in April, everytime Kate Middleton is mentioned in the news i feel sad and uncomfortable, I don't want to dislike her but I have to admit I feel jealous and that it's not fair. I was meant to have a second child with a similar age gap like her and feel like I've been robbed. It must be really hard not knowing anyone else who has been through this, but we are all on here to help each other so please carry on posting if it helps. So sorry you have had to go through this loss, look after yourself. Xxx

Thanks everyone, your kind messages have made me feel less alone :-) The support from family and friends has been amazing but nobody really knows how I'm feeling. I'm glad I'm not the only one to feel this way. Flower29 - I know exactly how you feel about Kate! I used to quite like her but I'm sick of hearing about her pregnancy already and it's only going to get worse! Feeling robbed is how I feel too. I'm so sorry you've all been through this too xx

Purpleflower23 I know exactly how u feel going through the same, a lady at my work has my angels due date and it kills me every time I see her people say it will get easier but I don't see how and there are no support groups anywhere noone talks bout what happens n right now all I wanna talk about is my little bean n remember who I didn't get to meet it breaks my heart every day and today my first period has come and its all flooding back to me I just want my baby back , I want u to know ur not alone I am in the same position as u , ur baby loves u and knows u love it too it's hard to keep ur head up, fake smiles areone of the many things I've learnt in the past 7 weeks

babyangelbean I'm so sorry for your loss , it's truly heartbreaking & I don't think anything anyone says really helps. There are a couple of pregnant ladies at my work & I find that really hard having to see them every day. I don't want to be rude by not asking about how they are, etc. but I really don't want to talk about it. I saw a newborn baby yesterday in the supermarket and nearly had a panic attack, it's like my body had a really weird reaction & I simultaneously desperately wanted to hold him but also couldn't wait to get away. First period after is really tough, just another reminder that you're not pregnant anymore xx

Purpleflower I'm so glad I'm not the only ones who loves but hates to see new babies right now! I haven't been around kids since it happened n now because I was being sick with my period I went dr n she was asking if I've done another pregnancy test and now that's jus Pissed me off obviously I'm not but the pain of sitting in the waiting room with all the babies and parents around :'( where r u from ?