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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

My miscarried baby would be due soon... Coping mechanisms please

8 replies

BlueberryPoppy123 · 07/10/2014 22:09

I was due next week and I lost the baby in week 8 so very early on. I'm a strong believer that everything happens for reasons, and using that way of thinking really helped me move on from my loss until now, the date is so close and everywhere I look I'm seeing new born babies, I find myself becoming very down and depressed I feel I have no one to talk to since I am no longer in a relationship with the father, and it's not a subject I have managed to get anyone to talk through with me, I feel as though as the date gets nearer I'm going more and more off the rails and it's affecting my son because I'm withdrawn tired and tearful. The doctors haven't offered me anti depressants even though I have a long history of depression prior my first pregnancy over 3 years ago... Basically I'm asking does anyone have any advice or help they could offer me I would be very grateful

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Iggi999 · 07/10/2014 23:39

Not advice just sympathy - it is very hard and you've had a relationship end on top of that, not easy at all. I would say for me the first couple of months were always worst, followed by the time around the due date. What I mean is, you may find this is the lowest point for you. I'm concerned by your reference to depression though - shouldn't the doctor be more concerned if you have a history of depression? Is it worth going back, or trying a different doctor in the practice? Though of course, depressed or not you are still in the grieving process.

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BlueberryPoppy123 · 08/10/2014 00:18

Thank you hopefully this is the worst of it I'm going through now, it's just all the memories from my first borns last weeks coming flooding back and it hurts, I am going to go back to my gp and request tablets thanks again

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Iggi999 · 08/10/2014 19:43

Let us know how you get on Blueberry. I didn't need anti-depressants but I did have counselling, which helped me a lot.

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BlueberryPoppy123 · 08/10/2014 20:35

My doctor is away they asked if it was an emergency to need an appointment today or can I wait until next week :/ looks like I'm waiting... Someone I went to school with announced a pregnancy this morning and another just now and it just makes me angry but I know that's not fair :(

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Iggi999 · 08/10/2014 21:21

If you feel it is urgent that is enough - it doesn't have to be an a&e style emergency.
Have you thought of any way to mark your due date that might be significant to you? It might make you feel a (little) bit better.

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Neeko · 08/10/2014 21:29

I would agree with going to the gp, even if it's just to talk.
When it was my due date I bought a love heart shaped helium balloon, had a quiet moment to myself and let the balloon go. It helped me a lot.
Really sorry for your loss.

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FlossieTreadlight · 08/10/2014 21:44

I was fortunate enough not to have depression, but following my first miscarriage And as the due date arrived I got more and more distressed. I found it really helpful to spend the actual day quietly and had a private moment where I lit a tea light and sat until it went out and said goodbye. I didn't turn a massive corner but I felt 'allowed' to be as gutted as I felt.

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FlossieTreadlight · 08/10/2014 21:45

Ps sorry, I meant to say that it would be worth calling the Miscarriage Association - I found the helpline really supportive