2 weeks on from ruptured ectopic

[clmc]

Not quite sure what I want to say or where I want to start but just needed an outlet. I am at home recovering from a ruptured ectopic which resulted in emergency surgery and the removal of my left tube. I was about 8 weeks pregnant, on countdown for the first scan. We had been on holiday the week previously and I thought I had miscarried whilst away so the past few weeks have been a complete emotional roller coaster. I have had 2 previous miscarriages but I feel so different with the loss of this baby and it has also brought up the grief from the previous losses. Not only was my life at risk, I have lost my baby and can physically feel the loss of my tube. I have no energy and just can't be bothered with anything, I just feel I need thinking space to process all of this. However, my 2 DD need me and family and friends feel I should make the effort to move forward now but I need time. The pain is still quite bad from the operation and I just feel 'lost'. Would just like to hear from anyone else who has been in a similar situation.

Not an ectopic but I did have an awful miscarriage that became stuck in my cervix and lost dangerous amounts of blood.

I was very poorly for a couple of weeks and ordered to stay in bed for a month by my GP. It really did hit me for six and took me a very long time both to come to terms with it and to recover physically.

I ended up having counselling because it brought back all of my other miscarriages and the very traumatic experience of having my lovely child.

Someone who hasn't been there has no idea, you can't just 'move forward' it isn't that easy.

Have a word with your GP, honestly, the six counselling sessions did wonders for me, my counsellor was not terribly friendly and I wasn't sure about them at the time but carried on going and felt much better at the end.

You need to recover physically too, that in itself is a constant reminder just now. Be kind to yourself.

Thank you lavendersun, I am so sorry you had to go through such an ordeal. We all assume that pregnancy is going to be so straight forward.

It is helpful to hear from someone who has been through a similar experience, I know people can't really understand who haven't been there and are only trying their best to help and support me.

I think you initially put all your energy into surviving from the physical side and then 'wham' the emotional hits you alongside.

Thank you for the suggestion for counselling, I may well approach the GP for some support, maybe some talking will help process my thoughts that seem to be so erratic at the moment. I need my mind to slow down somehow as the rest of me is so exhausted.

x

You are right about getting through the physical bit. I remember feeling like I had been run over for the first week after I came home from hospital. Too tired to think, which probably wasn't a bad thing to be honest. I also remember the doctor screaming for help which was horrid - fortunately I fainted at that point.

I was in a little side room in hospital and remember looking in the mirror (could see it from my bed) and looking really really bloated after the drips and transfusions too.

Please do consider talking to your GP, mine have always been the kindest people and just talking to them has really helped me. I doubt that they would ever tell you that you ought to be making an effort to move forward, more likely to suggest that they refer you for counselling.

Take care, Lavender.