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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

some advice needed

5 replies

katiegee · 06/08/2014 09:55

I'm hoping someone might be able to give me some advice....

I announced my pregnancy in work around the same time as another girl announced hers. We are a fairly big office, and although we knew who each other was, we never had any reason to chat to each other and didn't really know one another. Anyway, it turned out we were at roughly the same stage in our pregnancies so we began chatting a bit more... just when we passed each other or saw each other in the bathroom or canteen etc.

Sadly, she lost her baby a few weeks ago. She is back in work today and I don't know what to do for the best. I have no intention of ignoring her and her sad loss but I don't want to upset her either. I don't mean to sound arrogant, but I feel I might be a reminder of her loss? Would it be inappropriate for me to send her a wee email today saying I'm sorry and that I'm thinking about her? Or should I wait until I next see her in the canteen/bathroom etc?

I don't know what to do for the best...

And apologies for the essay...

OP posts:
sebsmummy1 · 06/08/2014 10:03

I actually think an email is a great idea. I would have much rather dealt with words on a page than i would speaking to you in person (even though you have done absolutely nothing wrong!).

Try and keep it succinct and not too cliched. Also try and keep out of her way for a while unless she seeks you out herself. She may be made of very robust stuff and take a pragmatic view about things, equally she may be feeling totally devastated and distraught. Awful situation and sadly very common.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 06/08/2014 10:04

It is difficult isn't it. The same thing happened to me only the other way around. Unfortunately she also moved departments and ended up sitting by me. One thing that really didn't help was her constant moaning about being pg, it was a tad thoughtless.

I think an email sounds lovely, maybe by her a little something, like a nice bar of choc perhaps?

ToriB34 · 06/08/2014 10:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sizethree · 06/08/2014 17:31

Hi Katie. How'd you get on? Did you send her an email or have a quiet word?
Either way I think it's nice that you had the sensitivity to be so aware of how she may be feeling and ask for advice.

katiegee · 06/08/2014 20:48

thank you for all your advice, I sent her a wee email this afternoon just saying I was sorry and that I was thinking about her... I'll leave it up to her if she replies or wants to chat. such a sad situation for her and I hope I am able to be sensitive to her feelings. thanks again ladies :)

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