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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Feeling alone

4 replies

ToastieWarm · 03/08/2014 00:11

It's been 2 1/2 months since I had a mmc at 12 weeks and after the initial grief period and the odd wobble I have been mainly ok...until this week. Yesterday my best friend had her baby, an event I was very excited about but obviously hits a raw nerve and today I went to a party with my DD, full of toddlers, babies and expectant Mothers, including my cousin (who is blessed after suffering an ectopic and the beginning of the year). I don't begrudge anyone their good news but I cannot help grieve for the baby I lost. At the moment i feel so slone,where I would usually vent to my best friend, she needs time to enjoy her newborn. To make matters worse my DH is being less than sypmpathic, he has never really wanted kids (although he blessed me with our DD), and whilst he has said we could try for another baby it seems he has changed his mind. Now I feel all hope is lost. I know I am luckier than most having a beautiful DD but I can't let go of the fact I would love to make her a big sister. I feel like he most selfish person in the world right now but it hurts so much.

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Cirsium · 03/08/2014 00:18

I'm so, so sorry for your loss. I had a MMC last year and it is such a horrible thing to go through. 2 1/2 months really isn't very long ago, it took me a long time but it has got better. Seeing friends and family enjoying pregnancy and new babies was one of the hardest parts for me, but it did gradually get easier.

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Cirsium · 03/08/2014 00:23

I am sorry your husband is being unsympathetic too. Mine struggled to deal with my emotions which was difficult. Perhaps yours will feel differently about trying again as time goes by. If you have no one you can turn to amongst friends and family would you find it helpful to get in touch with a charity like the Miscarriage Association, Tommys or Saying Goodbye. My local EPU offered a counselling service and had a remembrance book.

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ToastieWarm · 03/08/2014 00:46

Thank you, I think I just needed to get it out there and your response proves that I am not alone :-) I haven't been on here since my mc and I'd forgotten what a valuable source of comfort it holds. You're right 2 1/2 months is not all that long it is just that the world moves on without you.

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Cirsium · 03/08/2014 00:53

It does. I felt like I got lots of TLC and help for the first few weeks and then everyone expected me to have got over it. I think everyone reacts differently to going through a MC and you have to give yourself the time you need. It is healthy to grieve for your lost baby and lost hopes and dreams. I found sites like Mumsnet really helpful, not that I actually posted as I felt too raw, but just knowing I was not the only person going through it and feeling that way.