Odd question but what did you do during your miscarriages?

[Wetthemogwai]

I'm 11 weeks tomorrow and after a couple of weeks of on/off bleeding and an inconclusive scan I can feel the cramps starting and the bleeding starting on a different level.

I have a 3 year old dd who keeps me busy during the day but my partner works away so after 7 at night I'm alone with my thoughts. Over the last 10 weeks I've been consumed with baby names and dreams of the future in my little bubble of lovely pregnancy. The last 2 weeks have been filled with the emotional roller coaster of not knowing what's going on in my belly.

But now I know what's going on....I just don't know what to do with myself. I think I've done my crying, I'm just sitting here not able to focus on anything waiting for something to happen.

DP isn't back til Sunday so if you've got any ideas what I can do with myself for the next 3 nights I'd appreciate it.

TIA x

I know it's not my fault, I really do but I can't help but feel responsible :( I think it's inevitable really.

Can you just say you weren't well tori? Maybe by the time you go back you'll feel different and will be able to cope with it better? You don't have to tell them anything if you don't want to and I'm sure people won't think you're looking for sympathy if you're just answering their question?

Sorry to hear your going through this wet it's not an easy time and I really feel for you. I had a week to prepare for my MC, I had an early scan at 11 weeks as I was bleeding and then had to wait 'prepare' for a week before I miscarried.

I remember my DH was away working at the time and I asked my DB to come and look after my DC so I could shopping, it's not as indulgent as it sounds but I do think it helped. I went to good old M&S and bought myself some new mooching about PJ's, new slippers and a multipack of cheap big pants (the same ones I bought for post birth). Went to Boots and bought disposable bed mats, giant sanitary towels, painkillers and some nice spa toiletries (the poor assistant had no clue what was going on and was doing his best to try to advice on not using painkillers whilst breast feeding!!) also bought some nice chocolates and some cheap chick lit.

I was ready... In all honesty I did feel prepared and ready for what finally happened although I was surprised at the same the time at how similar to labour it was for me and the blood loss was a bit of a shock. I hadn't full appreciated just how busy my body had been over the last 12 weeks.

I just allowed myself to go with how I was feeling, allowed myself to mooch about watch easy going movies and obviously during day time I was busy taking care of DC.

My advice would be to allow yourself to feel and be however you want at the moment in time, no expectations and no pressure, what will be will be and just do little things that bring you comfort. Take care

Thanks scotslass what a lovely message x

Woke up to heavy red bleeding and clots this morning so at least I know it'll be over soon :)

DP is on his way and hopefully we can just focus on his birthday and have a lovely few days til he goes back on Wednesday.

Thankyou everyone for your support. It is very much appreciated

Thinking of you today x

I hope you feel better soon.

Thinking of you, wet, glad your DP will be back with you soon. Hope it is over soon. Be kind to yourself.

Thanks everyone, I've been ok today- a few minor cramps and light headedness, from what I read that's quite common. I keep getting this weird feeling though throughout my whole body like a pulse but it only happens once at a time. Very odd.

DP has been lovely today, we've not mentioned it as such but he's been very supportive and let me do what I need to do :)

Thanks for your support, it really means a lot x

It's done!
Spent the evening in horrendous pain until I passed what I think is everything very suddenly about an hour ago. No pain since just a little ache and a horrible empty feeling both physically and emotionally.

I feel incredibly lucky that it was over so quickly and that DP was here to support me though it. I'll go to hospital tomorrow to get checked over and hopefully then I can just wait for the bleeding to stop.

Thank you everyone for your support xxx

Sorry wet. I hope you start to feel better now it's physically over. I did after my first mc as I felt I could look to the future again. This time I think it is all hitting me later.

That's exactly how I feel lurker, I feel more relief than anything now.

I'm sorry you're finding it hard, remember this thread is always here for support, not just for my benefit

I'm sorry you are going through this. I never realised how awful it feels until I went through it. I have had two miscarriages in 3 months and was by myself for them. Initially, I took to my bed with wine and painkillers, feeling very sorry for myself. Then managed to go out for walks, coffee. Its truly shitty and I can't really offer any salient advice. It's just one of those times where normal life will come to a standstill for a while. I think it's important to let that happen if needs be. Or you may feel the need to be around people. Don't question your reaction too much - just go with it. Take care.

sand sorry for your loss, especially 2 so close together :(

I'm doing ok at the moment, it was confirmed yesterday with a scan at the Epu. There's 'nothing substantial' left so I just need to wait for the bleeding to pass which is good.
Had a little cry last night, not helped by DP asking what I was going to do with the scan pic which is currently in a frame by our bed. Turns out he has a memory box so I suggested he put it in there.

I think, like you say, we just need to do what we need to do and let ourselves recover however we need to. People obviously need to do different things to make themselves feel comfortable.

Oh tori, I'm sorry. What a nightmare!
Were you given a time limit for how long you could wait before they would intervene?
Tbh I'd have much rathered something to speed it up but put it off and put it off. Might be worth giving them a ring?

The letter is a lovely idea :)
It sounds much less silly than me talking to the sky asking my grandad (who died in January) to 'look after her'. Would've been mortified if someone had caught me!

Hi there, Tori I'm sorry you're still in that hideous waiting time, I know that time goes very slowly. I went back for my (completely pointless in my opinion) 2nd nhs scan (4th including private ones) and was finally allowed to be booked in for the ERPC the next day . I had it yesterday, went in at midday down to theatre about 2 and my husband collected me at. 5.30pm. It was fine and there's just light bleeding now, I was quite emotional when I was coming round to the anaesthetic but that happened the one other time I had a general so think it's just the way I react. Felt v heavy and groggy yesterday but bit better today. It was the right option for me as the fear of pain of a natural/medical mc, the unpredictability of a natural one, and fear of passing stuff was greater for me than fear of the anaesthetic and surgery. Wishing you all the best and that time goes quickly, and that a natural cm starts soon if that's what you would prefer. I had absolutely no sign then on thurs started having some blackly/brown mucus so perhaps it was going to start, that was 10 days after the mmc was confirmed on. 2nd private scan.

Good luck for tomorrow tori, I'll be thinking of you x