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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Feeling sad, should of been having 1st scan tomorrow :(

7 replies

mummytwobears · 03/06/2014 09:17

I had a mc 4 weeks ago, I was 9wks, I should of been having my first scan tomorrow :(
It wasn't a planned pregnancy, we'd decided 2 children was enough we'd had lots of problems ttc the first two and couldn't cope with the stress of doing it again. Then I was pregnant without even trying.
I feel so confused that the one pregnancy that arrived so easily was taken away from me.

I don't think we will try again, can't really afford 3 children, hubby and I are mid 30s now and both our children will be at school from September and I never wanted big age gaps. I'm about to complete my degree and start looking for work, I have up when baby number 1 was born. So it's all the wrong time in our lives.

But I'm so sad my last pregnancy ended this way, I'm sad I probably won't get a 3 rd baby now.
Really I'm just sad and feeling sorry for myself :(

OP posts:
Catlover2014 · 03/06/2014 10:45

Hello just wanted to say how awfully sorry I am for your loss and know just how you must feel.

It does get easier in time but you don't forget and key dates do stay in your mind. That said if you can focus on your two lovely children I am sure you will get through this.

I'm 34 and have no baby. We've been ttc for five years, had two mcs this year and my future looks bleak to say the least.

Hang in there. Things will get better!!


littlepeas · 03/06/2014 11:16

I'm feeling like this too. I had a miscarriage at 9 weeks in April, should have been 15 weeks this week, found out that dh's colleague's wife is pregnant and due the same week I would have been :(. I don't think we will try again either - I already have 3dc - we did plan the baby we lost, but now that I am back to square one I am not so sure I want the upheaval, but then again, I do. I got all upset about a pack of 6 egg cups in John Lewis the other day, and we need a new table but the thought of one that seats 6 and staring at an empty seat forever more makes me feel so sad. So sorry for your loss.

Rejjie · 03/06/2014 11:21

I don't think it is an easy thing to cope with whether it was planned or not. The fact is that your body has changed to accommodate this growing child and you have already started to plan for it together. Planned or not the loss makes you feel utterly bereft. I lost my first a week ago today. It was so wanted and, at 41, it feels like an uphill struggle to get anywhere near that stage again. Even if I do conceive again, I know that there are going to be key dates that my husband and I will remember. It is a bereavement and you need to give yourself time to come to terms with it. Don't forget that it also takes a while for the pregnancy hormones to leave your body so you will feel up and down.

Big hugs to you all.

EMac66 · 03/06/2014 12:31

I hope I can gatecrash, feeling very sad and came across this thread. I'm just home from the hospital where they confirmed my fears - I miscarried yesterday. I just knew immediately when I saw spotting which turned quickly into what for all the world could have been my usual period. I was only five weeks but we'd been trying so knew about it very early. This would have been our first :(
I know we will keep trying but how do you get through another pregnancy without panicking about every little twinge?! This terrifies me now. Thanks for letting me vent!

Catlover2014 · 03/06/2014 21:49

Emac66, just wanted to say how sorry I am. A mc at any time is hard and no matter how early it is you need time to grieve. I'm sure you're next pregnancy will have a happy ending but it's only natural you'll feel nervous. Hugs xx

Rejjie · 04/06/2014 09:11

EMac66 I'm so sorry. Deep down inside I knew what was happening too. You read all these stories about people who lose buckets of blood and have perfectly healthy babies but I just knew that wasn't going to be me. I was worried about what could go wrong whilst pregnant so I know I will probably be even worse if I'm lucky enough to get pregnant again. I guess I'll just have to overdose on yoga and chamomile tea!

Please give yourself time to get over this. A week down the line I feel physically and emotionally like shit. I nearly had a panic attack in the supermarket yesterday when I found myself surrounded by babies and children. Rest, cry, take time off work and talk. Keep posting on here as I have found it a real help to talk to people who understand.

Big hugs. x

mummytwobears · 04/06/2014 19:50

Thank you for your kind replies, for those of you brave enough to keep ttc I wish you all the luck in the world. I never imagined I'd m/c, in the past getting pregnant at all was the problem. I felt so pregnant, I had sickness and sore boobs the works and then it all stopped so suddenly. Like others I knew it was over, I was in pain and lost a lot of blood. I felt exhausted for first week or so, then recovered briefly now I've got chest infection, I guess my immune system is down.
I just feel overwhelmingly sad, and sad that we are not going to try again and that the excitement we felt was cut so short.

Take care of yourselves ladies xxxx

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