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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Repeat Miscarriage

18 replies

HMommy2 · 13/05/2014 08:26

Hi All, my Husband and I are both from big families and have one little boy (2yrs old) and really want him to have a brother or sister. We have just had a third miscarriage and I'm now 41. We said this would be our last time to try but when I think of our little man being all on his own I feel really guilty. Any advice would be great. Thanks so much.

OP posts:
TinyTear · 13/05/2014 08:30

Were your 3 mcs in a row? can you get NHS testing? or consider going private? I had 5 - 3 pre-DD and 2 post and I am now waiting to go and see Professor Quenby in Coventry for NK testing and other investigations.

I had the tests at St Mary's which came back normal...

And don't feel guilty, unfortunately it happens and it's nothing you have done... it's just the way the body works (stupid bodies)

Ask your doctor for a referral

RawCoconutMacaroon · 13/05/2014 09:01

Ask for a referral. Especially at your age (no offence, I have been there!).

Read up about inflammation and autoimmunity as a cause for infertility and MC... At your age it's very likely that immune factors are playing a part.

At referral, I was advised the following - 5mg folic acid daily while TTC and through first half of pregnancy. That's a very large dose.

Mini aspirin (80mg?) daily from time of positive test till about 30 weeks preg.

Vit d3 (double the normal dose, and fish oil (omega 3), which I was already on. Through whole pregnancy (krill oil would be even better actually).

All of these things are anti inflammatory, they reduce autoimmune responses within the body. There are tests for some of the immune factors, but my consultant said just go on this protocol anyway, there are factors I can't test for. My next preg was successful (at age 42).

As a "can no harm, but it might do some good" option I'd suggest a gluten free (and actually totally grain free if possible!), diet such as paleo (Google Marksdailyapple). Eating this way will almost certainly dampen down any autoimmune stuff that you might have (these issues can cause mc in various ways). At the very least, it's a natural, additive free way of eating that will boost your intake of vitamins and minerals, which is a big positive when TTC. I so wish I'd found this way of eating before having multiple MC as I will always wonder if things might have been different if I had, I suspect yes although I will never know for sure.

HTH, Good luck Smile!

HMommy2 · 13/05/2014 09:39

Hi Ladies, Thanks a mill for getting back to me, especially the info on autoimmune issues and what I can do to help that. The three mc were in a row, Feb 2013, Nov 2013 and May 2014. After second we went to consultant who did all the tests and no issues. He put me on low dose aspirin once we started TTC and then Progesterone once Positive pregnancy test.
I'm also worried that if we had a second little one with difficulties would it put more responsibility on our little boy when they were older. We're so lucky that 1st little man is perfect.
I'm a bit all over the place, MC was confirmed yesterday but I feel with my age we don't have the luxury of time!

OP posts:
TinyTear · 13/05/2014 09:55

I am also 40... and would love to give my 2yo a sibling...

but i am coming to terms with her being an only child... i will give it one more go...

HMommy2 · 13/05/2014 11:17

Hi TinyTear,
Thanks for being so honest, sounds like we're in the same boat. It's really difficult to know or decide when you've been through enough, or that your body is telling enough. There's always that little voice saying what if next time it all works out. Our little guy is in a crèche and really sociable so he already has his set of little buddies so I don't think he would even be lonely. I think my heart is fighting with my head. My head is saying draw a line under it and move on with the next phase of life instead of spending another year in no mans land. my heart is breaking for a brother or sister for our little man.....

OP posts:
TinyTear · 13/05/2014 11:32

That is why I am giving myself one more go...

If the next go fails (after NK testing) it would have been 3 mcs before DD and then 3 after... a nice round number, but my brain - and body - can't cope with continuing to try even more...

Some days I even wonder if I really want to give it one more go... but I think yes, we always talked about 2 children...

HMommy2 · 13/05/2014 13:56

Its the most difficult decision because there are no guarantees. Your practical, logical side is saying enough is enough we're lucky to have one healthy little one but then you feel guilty that they will be an only child. The fact that there was one successful pregnancy pulls you back in again and gives you hope that maybe next time it'll all work out alright. I know its not very PC but I also worry, due to my age, about having a little one that has difficulties and how that would impact on our little boy....
Its a very difficult decision to close the door on having any more, its so final, and the fear of regretting it later is huge.....

OP posts:
bakingtins · 13/05/2014 19:01

Hi Hmommy I'm sorry about your losses. I'm 40 later this year. I had one MC between my 2 boys, then 3 in a row Sept12-June13. All NHS tests normal, testing showed was losing normal embryos, went to see Professor Quenby, diagnosed with high NK cells (immune problem) and now 36 weeks after treatment with steroids, heparin, progesterone in first trimester. We agonised over whether to give up or give it one last shot, obv I'm v glad we tried again but with no crystal ball it's a tough call. You are v welcome on the recurrent miscarriage thread on this board which has a lot of women wrestling with similar issues, but there is also a thread on the conception board called "TTC or pregnant on pred" where the immune issues experts hang out, so if you have questions worth posting there too.

HMommy2 · 13/05/2014 20:08

Hi bakingtins, So sorry for your losses, an MC is heartbreaking. Thanks so much for getting in touch and for letting me know about the other threads. I'm a bit all over the place today and its so reassuring to know that there are others who have gone through this who want to share and help. Great news to be at 36 weeks, exciting times ahead! Hugs

OP posts:
jimijack · 15/05/2014 23:30

Don't give up!
After 7 mcs I had my perfect boy at nearly 43.

All tests came back as normal, I was given aspirin and progesterone injections, high dose folic acid and I still miscarried, it just took longer to happen.

Gave up trying, went and got the pill, waited for my period so that I could take the fecking thing, period didn't arrive.
Miracle of miracles, my little fella was on his way.

I am amazed every single day when I look at him. 15 months old, absolute deliciousness, gorgeous & amazing.

bewleysisters · 15/05/2014 23:59

Hi HMommy so sorry to hear you're having a difficult time. I had several miscarriages in my late 30s and early 40s after my first child and finally completed my family with the help of donor eggs (long story).

In your 40s it is a numbers game due to declining egg quality. It is a good sign you're getting pregnant. I had every test going which did identify a blood clotting problem, but the major issue was simply age. I found Prof Lesley Regan's book on miscarriage and the Fertility Friends Over 40s board helpful resources. I also got some good support/advice which helped in coming to terms with the losses and deciding what to do next from a specialist fertility counsellor at an IVF clinic and from a Consultant I saw privately. There almost always are options - but a lot depends on your emotional/financial resources and how you feel about those options. Be kind to yourselves - this is tough stuff to live through . Very best wishes.

JBrd · 16/05/2014 15:47

HMommy So sorry to hear about your losses.

I am 42, have one DS (3 years) and have just had my 4th miscarriage. Also very much all over the place at the moment...
It is truly heartbreaking, especially if they can't give you a reason why this happens. I have no problems falling pg, but can't seem to stay pg.

Age is of course a factor, but then again, so many women have healthy pregnancies and babies in their forties! Like you, I had aspiring, progesterone and also heparin during my last pregnancy, but I still lost it. Now waiting for the test results, hoping that it might give us a clue.
We also had tests after the mc before this one, but all they could find was a spontaneous mutation in the baby, no issues with me or DH.

Have you been tested for blood clotting issues? This can be an underlying issue that might not cause any problems for yourself, but can make it difficult when you are pg. I would ask your GP or hospital for the tests, if you can face it.

It is such an awful situation to be in - I am struggling with the thought that DS might stay an only child, and am currently thinking about what options I have. I will look into the immune-issues/NK cell testing, as this seems to be the one thing that I haven't tried, apart from fertility treatment - for which I'm not sure I'm up for anyway, I can't see how it could help me. And then I am -tentatively- thinking about adoption...

As you can see, you are not alone! Be kind to yourself, take one day at a time until you feel more robust... It is a roller coaster, and a very bumpy one.

Star2489 · 16/05/2014 18:01

I wondered if anyone could share any of there stories, I have had 3 miscarriages all at the 6 week mark, recently had the blood tests to check for blood clotting but been told they have come back normal? The dr thinks my hormone levels are ok but not had all the tests for that yet, I have been prescribed hormone pessaries for when I fall pregnant again which we got told me could try again straight away ! Anyone had a similar situation and can give me any info or thoughts would be appreciated as I now feel we are back to square one and just got to wait and see if we have a 4th miscarriage ?

bewleysisters · 17/05/2014 18:49

How old are you Star?

Igggi · 17/05/2014 23:06

OP and JBRD, you both seem to have very similar stories to me - I am sorry for your losses. I'd a ds and then had four mcs in quick succession. Finally had ds2 at 42 on a combo of steroids/progesterone/baby aspirin and loads and loads of vitamins! (Especially vit d3).
No-one can tell you whether the right decision is to stop or to keep going. But don't think it's impossible for you to have your happy ending now, many of us have gone on to be successful.

Tassel · 18/05/2014 09:10

I am desperately looking for advice. I have one dd aged 3 conceived naturally. Since then I had a year when we couldn't get pregnant followed by 4 miscarriages in the last 18 months. 2 of them were natural pregnancies, one was following iui where we had a heartbeat but found out at 12 week scan baby had stopped growing after 8 weeks. The most recent one was after ivf, we found out last Thursday at 7 weeks that we hadn't made it past 5 week. All miscarriages except one were missed. Still waiting to bleed on this one. I've had two erpcs and I just cannot stomach another one. I was on heparin aisprin and progesterone on three of the pregnancies as I have ana antibodies. I am 41 next month and I have so little time left. I am not based in the uk but I want to go to someone in London who can help. Can I please ask your advice. Should I go to st Mary's, the arcg, shetatah, gorgy. The names pop up everywhere but are meaningless as I have no one to advise to go.

I feel completely lost as I don't seem to have a problem getting pregnant but I just can't keep them. I know it's age but we have one last chance and any advice would be gratefully appreciated

bakingtins · 18/05/2014 09:21

Tassel come post on the "pred thread" on the conception board as mentioned up-thread, lots of patients of the London drs there who can advise you. St Mary's won't look into immune issues. Have you had PIGD with your IVF I.e. do you know chromosomes were ok? (not sure why else you'd be having assisted conception if you can get pregnant) There is also an "assisted conception after RMC" thread where many of the pred ladies also post so I'm sure they would point you there if appropriate.

I had a similar sounding history, 4 MC happening at 8-10 weeks but when monitored were slow developing, behind dates etc. I know at least 3 of them had a HB before being lost. Normal chromosomes in the ones tested. I went to see Prof Quenby in Coventry and now successfully pregnant after an NK cells diagnosis and treatment with steroids.

bewleysisters · 18/05/2014 14:44

Tassel - I'm not up to date on clinics. Would highly recommend the Over 40s board on Fertility Friends: the most knowledgeable/helpful person I encountered on immune issues/recurrent miscarriage (pretty much anywhere!))was DaisyG. She still posts there - worth keeping an eye out.

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