Missed miscarriage

4 replies

nboo81 · 13/04/2014 23:02

I've never posted anything before but have been reading that it can help. I went in for my 1st scan a week ago on Friday only to be told that the wee baby had no heart beat and had stopped growing at about 8 weeks. My husband and I were (are) devastated. I know it hasn't been long but I thought I would start to feel a little bit better. I went in to hospital and had SMM as I had no bleeding or crapping and I really wanted to move on with things. I have so many thoughts going on in my head I really don't know what to do with myself. We were due to go on holiday on the Sunday after my scan to America to visit family but we cancelled due to everything that happened. I feel that things are only going to get worse once I return to my work. I have only been working at my place of work for about 1 and a half months and everyone knew I was due to go on holiday but only my boss new I was pregnant. I am really dreading people asking me 'how my holiday was?' I just know I will break down and I don't want to cry anymore. I hope this doesn't sound trivial but I just don't know what to say to people.

OP posts:

Purplefrogshoes · 13/04/2014 23:22

I am so sorry you lost your baby nboo I would tell your boss before you go back by email or text and let your boss tell your colleagues something so your are not asked about your holiday, it's only been a very short time and I wouldn't go back to work before you are ready

bakingtins · 15/04/2014 07:27

nboo I'm sorry you lost your baby. Miscarriage is such a hidden grief and I hope you'll find it helpful to have somewhere to 'talk' openly about it. It is very very early days for you, a missed miscarriage is a huge shock, then you've been through surgery, your hormones are crashing, and you've suffered a bereavement. Cut yourself a massive amount of slack about when you'll start to feel better.
I agree with purple that getting your boss to tell colleagues something will ease the transition back to work 'holiday cancelled due to illness' would do if you don't want them to know about the miscarriage.

Boogles91 · 16/04/2014 12:41

Im so sorry for your loss chuck :( me and hubby didnt even have time to take it in when we lost our first as his parents split, and mil came to stay! I just kept focusing my mind on things like going back work! I couldnt wait, it was the worst christmas and new year of my life! It felt very weird going back work but i was glad that my body felt normal again and the feeling of being pregnant didnt drag on....else i would of spirraled into depression again if it had as i wouldnt of been abke to cope i dont think :( just try your bestto be there for one another and keep your minds occupied, it does help i found. Although it was tough :( hope you both get lotsa support andlotsa hugs from me xx

smilingthroughgrittedteeth · 18/04/2014 04:45

Hi nboo im so sorry for your loss

I found out last monday that id had a mmc, I was 14 weeks pregnant and the baby measured 10.5 weeks. i had an erpc on wed the 9th.

I am devastated and am struggling to cope and like you am dreading returning to work. Im a nanny and my bosses know about the miscarriage. My dp and dm both keep telling me going back will be good for me and that returning to normal life is what I need to do to move on.

I cant even begin to explain to them that right now nothing seems normal and the thought of being responsible for 2 children feels completely overwhelming, I can barely function enough to do the basics for myself, I cant sleep so am exhausted and im still feeling physically weak and crampy.

I dont have any advice but I want you to know your not alone, and that nothing you are feeling or worried about is trivial x

Flip