I had a miscarriage on Friday, my first one, and I'm lucky enough to already have 2 DC's. I had only found out I was pregnant a few days before, and if I'm honest, it wasn't news greeted with unbridled joy by either of us.
I felt the sac pass through me. Almost as soon as this happened, the only thought in my head was that it had to be over so I could start again. I had an all consuming need to be pregnant again. I went for my hospital appointments where everyone was expecting me to be devastated, but I already knew the baby had gone. I had felt and seen it. I was focussing so much on getting it over as soon as possible and starting again, that I didn't even think of it. Now, I'm full of doubt. I can't bear the thought of that being my last experience of pregnancy, and that my last baby died, but I'm scared that it might happen again. I'll have to accept that it wasn't meant to be and I will end up grieving for 2 babies and the loss of my fertility. I'm 41 this year, so don't have all the time in the world. I don't even know what I want from this thread. Just to rant on I suppose...