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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

I Found out today i have had a missed miscarriage - Postive stories please xx

14 replies

pinkranger · 16/08/2006 23:25

I am , well was 10 weeks pregnant and on monday i had slight spotting, booked in for a scan today and was informed that the baby had died at 6 weeks. have a D+C booked for tomorrow morning.
I know this is common as i have seen it so many tmes on here but i just cant deal with it, i have a healthy 3.8 DS and this is my first M/c, My DH has been great, he had a cry this morning but tried to be really chirrpy all afternoon as he knows as soon as we mention it i break down. We had been trying for this pregnacy for while and it just seems so unfair .

Feel that i dont want to try again as i couldnt handle going through this again but i know so many of you brave ladies have.
Thanks for letting me ramble xx

OP posts:

Original poster

pinkranger · 16/08/2006 23:25

sorry for bad typing /spelling and sitting here with glassof whisky (which i normally hate) and tears bloking my view x

OP posts:

biglips · 16/08/2006 23:26

oh no!! im so sorry to hear - sorry cant give u any advice xx

CarolinaMao · 16/08/2006 23:33

so sorry to hear about your loss pinkranger

Cry as much as you need to. I had a mc a couple of weeks ago and wish I'd cried more tbh - I was trying to be brave but recently I've been finding everyday things getting on top of me iyswim.

Hope things go ok tomorrow for you.

CarolinaMao · 16/08/2006 23:34

couple of months ago, I mean

lucykate · 16/08/2006 23:37

i had 2 m/c's in 2004, the first was a missed one at 11 weeks and had a d&c. its not a painful procedure but the bleeding afterwards can be quite heavy.

to be honest, it's most likely that you are feeling a bit numb and confused due to the shock of whats happened. when its discovered, a d&c is usually booked quickly, its like being on autopilot for the first few days. give yourself time to grieve, there are no medals for being brave. i went back to work far to quickly afterwards and then went on to have a bit of a meltdown as i m/c again 3 months later.

ramble on here all you want, thats what mn is here for. ((((((((((hug))))))))), take care, x.

lucykate · 16/08/2006 23:39

forgot to mention, after all that, i did go on to have ds. the second m/c was on the 27th may 04, and on the 27th may 05, he was born.

SparklyGothKat · 16/08/2006 23:47

I had a missed miscarriage at 8 weeks. I started bleeding and had a scan which showed the baby had died at 6 weeks. I didn't have a D&C as I was still bleeding and the hospital just kept an eye on me and gave me another scan a week on to see if I had lost everything. My Ds was 13 months old when it happened, and I had dd1 when he was 2 1/2. I also had dd2 when dd1 was 15 months old. I was worried when I was pregnant with dd1.
((((hugs))))

horseshoe · 17/08/2006 08:40

I'm so sorry to hear of your sad loss.

I also suffered a missed M/C at 10 weeks. I had a D&C and a follow up check at my doctors nine weeks later. The doctor asked if I had a cycle since the op which I replied NO. He then asked me to take a pregnancy test as the procedure is carried out blind and there was a small chance they had missed the baby. The test was positive and I had to return to the hospital for a scan to see how much was left.
I was distraut at the thought of another procedure. After 9 weeks I was just starting to come to terms with it all and then had to go through it again.
I just remember the m/w asking how I felt about being pregnant as she examined me through a scan. I told her I was so happy. She then asked if I would like to try again to which I replied yes.

With that she showed me a little 7 and a half week old heartbeat and I now have my beautiful 3 yr old DD.

The procedure in itself had made me extremely fertile. just like you are after giving birth.

So there is hope and although you may not be ready to try again just yet I hope my story can inspire you to see a brighter future. I'll never forgot the little one I lost.

Original poster

pinkranger · 18/08/2006 12:04

i would just like to say a big thank you to you all.

Had a very sucsful (sp) d&c yesterday except i was there at 10.30am and didnt get up to surgery until 5.45!! - Got home at 10.30pm! There was a lady in there who was crying most of the day , i undertand that some people handle it very diffently but i found this hard as the others (ME and 2 more) were trying really hard to hold it together and be strong. Do hope this lady will be alright...

Had a cry this morning as scan date arrived (typical) but over all
I Feel very positive about it all and very glad that it it over and i dont have to wait for the end of it! Me and Husband have decied that we will try again soon. What will be will be. I keep thinking of my best friend who had to give birth to her still born at 26 weeks and that keeps me thinking how i got of lightly - she keeps me stong! xx Thank you all , im sure that i will need to post no the misscarrge boards when i feeling down but hoping to e back on the ante natle by this time next year!! xxxxxx

OP posts:

twocatsonthebed · 18/08/2006 12:33

So sorry to hear about this, pinkranger.

Almost exactly the same thing happened to me just over a year ago - I started spotting at 11 weeks and found out that the baby had died at 6-7 weeks.

Do let yourself be upset as lucykate says- it took me a lot longer than I thought to get back to anything like normal, and the due date was harder than expected.

I thought that this might mean I would never have children, as I was 39, but the positive story is that I am now 30 weeks pregnant (I conceived on the first cycle after the due date, funnily enough). And I am sure plenty of other people will be along to tell you more stories the same - if you've had one miscarriage, your odds of having a next successful pregnancy are pretty close to normal.

Original poster

pinkranger · 18/08/2006 13:30

its really nice to here postive stories , Mn has helped me so much these last 4 days xx

OP posts:

Charlee · 18/08/2006 13:34

Pinkranger [hugs] I know what your going through i had 5 m/c's after having a healthy DS but i am now 26 weeks pg so you can go on to have a healthy baby.

My advice would be to take it one day at a time and if you feel like crying then do. let your feelings out as if you were mourning a friend or relative. I wish you all the best xxxx

Original poster

pinkranger · 18/08/2006 13:37

sometimes i feel that i was only 10 weeks pregnant but at other times i feel as if i have lost my child ( like the love i feel for my son) is this natural to feel guilty about it ??

OP posts:

USAUKMum · 18/08/2006 14:07

Sorry to hear about your loss.

It is natural to think that you have lost a child. Think it is natural to think of them as "your baby" as soon as you find out you are expecting.

For a positive outcome, I have a DD (5), a had a late miscarriage with DS1 at 20 wks when DD was 2.4. Now have DS2 (2). DS2 was born 13 mths after DS1. That first year was the hardest -- plus I was hormonal. Each year I do think of my lost son Robert and think I always will.

The first year you will find yourself think about it on the dates (e.g due date, date you found out you miscarried etc). Give yourself time. And you'll get through it.

Hugs & good luck.

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