Please hold my hand... waiting to miscarry

[TheJumped]

I started bleeding 2 days ago, only spotting really but turned to redder and darker blood and I just don't feel pregnant any more. Went to a and e yesterday and they said it was 50/50 whether I'd miscarry, but that was based on a GP poking at my tummy. The EPU at the hospital isn't open at weekends so I have to wait til tomorrow (Monday) for a scan. They said to rest and have fluids til then. DH is being great and looking after toddler and house. I'm resting as much as I can but am just waiting for the inevitable. Whenever I pee there is a little dark red blood (not brown) and I just feel... open, and not full and pregnant any more. I've read the miscarriage tips thread which has prepared me for what to expect, but this waiting is just horrible. Sorry if this is incoherent, just feeling so sad and out of control. Work don't know I'm pregnant (10 weeks) so will have to tell them too. I feel like I'm about to have a period, all dull achey cramps.

It's just not coming out! What can I do to get the process moving?! I want to go back to work next week. It's just like a period now, and not even especially crampy or clotty.

I have a second scan booked for next Mon and then only after that will they book me for ERPC on the Friday after that if necessary. It's so long to wait! And two weeks off work where I feel fine, just can't leave the house just in case.

They didn't mention the pills people have discussed on here - medical management? I understand it's best to happen naturally but it's just not progressing...

TheJumped you are in the process of miscarrying so it is happening. For some women it's a sudden process which is where you hear the terrible stories of 'flooding' etc. However for others it is a gradual process that happens over a week, two weeks.

My own experience was that I was 6 weeks pregnant. I kept spotting over the three weeks that I knew I was pregnant. Then on the Saturday I passed lots and lots of bloody mucus and black clots, Sunday I bled lightly, Monday I started having period bleeding, lots of fresh red blood, Wednesday, very light cramping. I put in a mooncup as it was so boring changing pads, I felt a slight gushing sensation and when I checked my mooncup was full, that was really the only big bleed I had. Then it tailed off and I stopped spotting on the Monday where I had a scan and they confirmed the mc was complete. No bleeding since.

I felt like you in that I was scared to go out incase I bled suddenly. But it was fine, every bodies different. Just listen to your body, take it easy, the heavier bleeding tends to be when the placenta detaches so that may happen at the end.

Thank you sebsmummy I'm doing lots of housework today instead of moping around in bed, in the hope that it will speed things up a little. Although I thought I was 10 weeks the sac measured 6/7 so I guess there won't be too much anyway... I just want it to be over DS is at childminder and DH is working from home to look after me, so I feel like a fraud.

I would just keep active and see if you can do it naturally as I think your body heals quicker that way.

Obviously if the scan shows retained tissue then you must then take the medical route offered as there is a risk of infection. But your body is bleeding so your miscarriage is in process and in sure most professionals would tell you to let nature take it's course.

The internet is awash with terrible stories. I know because I read most of them!! But sometimes early miscarriages are slow and manageable and you will not see anything that resembles a sac because it breaks up during the bleeding or is re absorbed.

If you start to get some cramping then just stay a bit quieter on that day as the bleeding could suddenly worsen.

Hand holding.

thejumped I too have read some scare stories online but after frightening myself with worst possible scenarios I am sticking to websites like the Miscarriage Association and Tommy's for information.

My miscarriage started on the 17th, baby and placenta passed naturally on 18th. I have had a few internal scans since then and am due another one tomorrow morning to see if I need the surgical procedure. I think the process can be slow for some women (like me). I thought that once the baby had passed that would be it but sadly not. I am hoping that this will all come to an end soon but for now I am trying to wait it out, which is very difficult for me as I am known for my impatience. Netflix has been my saviour.

I hope this experience ends for you soon too. It's just rubbish! xx

Hi violet, sorry to hear you're going through it too

What have you been doing for the last week then? Do you work or have older children? How far along were you? Sorry for 20 questions lol. I'm fed up not being able to go about my life, it's bad enough without having to sit around the house moping.

I've been told they have to wait for. Second scan to confirm, before they'll book me in for ERPC, but I'd go in tomorrow if I could. I have a friend who went through it recently and she went to a private hospital to have the surgery done sooner. I suspect we couldn't afford that and probably is best for it to happen naturally. But grr. It's been so gradual, literally trickling, I hope sebsmummy is right and it's just like a period and I won't even be able to tell the baby has passed.

Oh how crap that it is dragging out. It can do that as people in here have described.

They won't do anything to speed up process until a second scan. You can then wait it out or have the op or you can ask for tablets to try and make things progress. Main risk with waiting is infection but this can be monitored. Equally the op not had scary as it might sound and some places will do it under local rather than general.

I second listening to your body. Moving around helps. Lots of fluids. And be easy on yourself.

Thejumped - sorry you are going through this. I just lost at 10 weeks on Sunday. I had the missed miscarriage confirmed last Thursday (had previous scan two weeks before, no growth since that scan and lost heartbeat) the pregnancy was measuring 8.5 to 9 weeks.

I would advice you to start taking iron supplements (spa tone is good), in case your bleeding is prolonged or gets heavy)

I had two days of spotting, then haemorrhaged, landed in hospital and had emergency ERPC. I am not saying this to scare you, but say pack two bags as a precaution. One for if you need to go to a&e, including something like a bed mat to protect car seat as you go to a&e. spare underwear and trousers. Also pack an overnight bag for hospital just in case. Including something to read. Hopefully you will not require them, but if you do it just makes it much easier.

I have sadly had a few early and late first trimester losses, and they can all be different. The time from starting bleeding til loss varies greatly. The waiting is not easy. I found that moving around increased the bleeding but I can't say if it helped speed things up or not. Just go with whatever you feel is right for you, rest or getting in with things. Take time to grieve for your sad loss too.

I hope it starts soon for you, and that it is physically as easy as it can be.

Not relevant but editing to say I was 11+2 when I finally m/c (I was 10+6 when MMC confirmed). Sorry

I'm so sorry you are going through this, it is so rubbish. I had a missed miscarriage at 11 weeks and like you describe, just didn't feel pregnant anymore.

Mine happened naturally and was like the most depressing period (but stronger / more intense). I found tv, wine and when necessary pain killers helped the time to pass. And I generally felt very (justifyably) sorry for myself for the days it took to be over.

If it is a miscarriage, I really hope it doesn't drag on for too long for you.

Take care

Thejumped - how are you doing?