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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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shock at 12 week scan

27 replies

enlightenedbunny · 05/02/2014 17:32

Guessed i was pregnant on holiday at christmas and was over the moon - as was partner. Had flu and was then floored by morning sickness. Breasts ballooned and were tender and was tired, constipated, bloated. Tested around 7 weeks - positive. Saw GP who referred me to maternity and treated uti that i didnt know i had. And then the wait for dating scan began. Nausea improved(but didnt go away) at 9 weeks and at 11 breasts were no longer tender (thought that was odd) but scan was in a few days so waited.
Was totally shocked to hear at scan there was only a gestational sac and it was probably only 6 weeks. Didnt ask anyhing at the time but didnt understand how I could have felt pregnant. Felt numb. Tried to tell myself ho common it is, that at least it was early etc but cant control the grief. Crying randomly - it just happens. Due another scan in a weeek. Yesterday started bleeding a little and passed a small piece of something greyish with minimal cramping. I know it may pass on its own or i may need a procedure. I know whats happening but i cant believe it. Struggling to get on with things - even getting out of bed is a chore. Mostly i feel numb and then out ofnowhere come the tears.
Partner is trying to be supportive but doesnt understand. To him it is sad but over. To me, this is probably the third time i was pregnant - had a termination when partner was going through mental health problems and couldnt cope (at the time it seemed the right thing to do, i know i cant turn back the clock), and had similar symptoms at 6 weeks but as i twigged and before i could test i passed something greyish and bled heavily. We were both so excited this time - i just cant believe it. I feel as if someone has played a cruel trick on us.

Not sure what made me write this but feeling very vulnerable. Please be kind

OP posts:
NutcrackerFairy · 04/08/2014 08:39

I am so sorry this has happened to you enlightened Sad

I had a MMC September last year. Prior to 12 week scan the pregnancy seemed to be progressing normally as I had exactly the same symptoms as my past two pregnancies - extreme tiredness but minimal nausea, more mild queasiness.

So went along to the 12 week scan with not a clue that this could happen. I was more worried about abnormalities as I had just turned 40 [had been so pleased that I had managed to get pregnant prior to turning 40, seemed meant to be...].

Anyway, sonographer was very matter of fact, not unkind but definitely not overly sympathetic. First she said "I can't see any blood flow" and I was wondering what she meant when she said "I'm sorry, I can't see a heart beat". She had a second sonographer come in to confirm and then sent me on my way to see a midwife at EPU.

My baby had reached 11 weeks and 1 day. What was 'uncanny' was that baby probably died on my 40th baby if the measurements were correct and this felt truly shit. I had been so pleased to conceive my third and final child before my mental cut off of 40 years old and then this was snatched away from me.

I am still trying to conceive again now with no success so far Sad

I am so sorry for anyone else going through the pain of MMC. It really is an awful time but the pain does get better.... I just hope I can now get pregnant before I turn 41 in September, time for me is running out...

NutcrackerFairy · 04/08/2014 08:40

'birthday' not 'baby'

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