Heartbroken at sisters pregnancy news 10 days after my miscarriage.

[Lozzy3003]

Today has been 10 days since I lost my baby. I'm still not entirely over it but I'm taking it day by day but today my sister arrived at my house to tell me she was pregnant, I know she has been trying for a while and I sympathise with that but I feel like she could have waited until I'd had a real chance to mourn my own loss. What hurts more is the fact she'd suggested an abortion for myself because I already have 4 beautiful boys and my partner didn't want another baby. I don't want to sound selfish about it but how can I be happy for her when she knew how much I wanted my own baby even though it wasn't planned, I saw my babies heartbeat and two days later I'm mourning it and all I have received from her was maybe it was for the best.

I am really sorry to hear that youhave lost your baby, and that your sister is being so heartless intentionally or not, I dont really no what to suggest but could you distance yourself from her for awhile so that you can grieve?
How far gone us she? Do you have some time before her scan?

She said she's 6 weeks gone but we live basically 5 minutes from each other and our children go to school together, I wish I could just not see her. I am happy for her but I feel like she's kind of rubbing it on my face the way she announced it.

Oh so no way of avoiding for awhile thats a shame, I can see why you think she is rubbing ut in your face she hasnt been very considerate to you. I think you may just have to be honest how you feel and how hurtful her comments have been she may nit even realise thst shes been like it!

I'm thinking your sister doesn't realise how sensitive you are. If this is her first, she'd have her own worries and may not see beyond them. I'm sure it's not intentional. Have a quiet coffee and let her know you are there for her but at the same time, explain you need some space to mourn.

I'm sorry for your loss.

The thing is, if she is 6 weeks gone, she probably found out at the same time as you lost your baby. She would gave already been pg by the time that happened. What can she do at this point?

She could gave waited to tell you, but would you have been more or less hurt if she had waited until she was 12 weeks to tell you? You would still have done the Maths, it was always going to be raw for you whenever you found out.

It's awful to lose a baby, and it DOES skew your sense of perspective, it definitely did skew mine. One of my closest friends was pregnant at the same time as me, and just 3 months after my angel boy was SB, she had her DS. There were happy pics on her fb page, and I honestly thought that she was posting then where I could see them to rub my nose in it that she had her baby and I didn't.

It's not rational, but neither is the loss of a much wanted baby.

One day you will understand that given that your sister probably found out she was pregnant on or just a few days before or after you lost your baby, that there was NEVER going to be an easy time for you to hear her news.

Ohh lozzy i'm so very sorry, i had a mmc on the 20th so am 11 days down the line and it is so hard.
I have 2 dc's already and ppl hav said things like .. At least uv got the others.. Yeah maybe but I wanted this one just like you did with your baby. How many weeks were u? I was 9/10 weeks.
A friend of mine announced her pregnancy on the same day i found out mine had failed, it is hard seeing those happy pics but i've realised i'm not jealous of her just jealous its not me (if that makes sense!)
If you need a place to vent more openly, giving daily updates and being helped to talk through ur thoughts i've set up a fb group with other MN members who have suffees mc in the last few weeks, (its secret so no one will know ur a member) if u want to join pm me.
Take care x