Explaining m/c to 4 yr old

[Pandora321]

Hi, I miscarried on Sunday at 10 weeks. I was in hospital over night and my 4 year old ds knows I was there but not why. We had told him about the pregnancy but I don't know how to tell him there's no baby. We are not religious and don't want to use any terms with god or heaven. When his grandad passed away we told him he had gone to be a star in the sky. At the time we felt he was too young to be told about death. He is a very anxious child any way and I don't want to give him more to think about. Does anyone have any suggestions please?

Thanks for reading x

[smartmoves]

Sorry to hear of your miscarriage. I had one myself over Xmas - hard, isn't it?

Could you tell your son that it's like when you plant seeds? Some of them grow into flowers, but some don't? (Eric Carle, author of the Very Hungry Caterpillar, also wrote a book called The Tiny Seed, where some seeds make it and some don't - read him that, maybe?) Do you think he'll accept that sometimes that's just the way it is?

[Pandora321]

Sorry to hear you have also been through m/c, it certainly is a rough and challenging time.

Thank you, that's a really good idea. He may accept that things sometimes happen. He asks so many questions I just don't want him to start thinking that it could happen to him. I will look out for the book x