#3 on the way out

[fackinell]

All too familiar, unfortunately, 3 losses in 16 mths. Any 40+ mums out there with success stories to spur me on, please? I know it's 50:50 chance at 42 but 3 seems a bit unlucky.

Hi, I am not 40+ I'm afraid but it isn't just older women who have these problems. Although I am younger and you may say I 'had more time' but whatever age you are losing a baby can still cripple you.
I am 23 and have had 3 miscarriages and a beautiful baby girl who grew her wings.(She was stillborn).
My mom who is 42. Now has a 2 year old after trying for 2 years and also suffering a miscarriage.
So aslong as you are still here and fighting there is always hope there. Take care of yourself, take it easy although you really want a baby let it happen. Don't have sex to make a baby. Make a baby out of love.
I know science would disagree but I do believe if u try too hard because you aren't mentally there it makes it harder.
I really wish you all the best and remember aslong as you are here and fighting there is always hope xxx

And go to your doctors and DEMAND they refer you to the recurrant miscarriage clinic. After 3 they definatel have to do something.
They gave my mom a supplement to take I forget the name and it worked.
But honestly be firm with your gp and do not leave that room until you get a referral xxx

Thank you, Coco. I'm sorry for your losses. I'm disappointed but after two, I'm unfortunately not surprised. Have you had tests to rule out sticky blood etc? I just got the all clear from my six vials of blood so MW reckons its an egg quality issue with me. I will keep trying and staying positive. I'm not an emotional wreck like the first, for some reason. Probably because I was further on that time. It's only been in the last two years I've actually wanted kids; it was all about meeting the right Dad

Just saw your other post, Coco. They're being fantastic. I did get tested but no obvious issues. Was it agnus castus your mum was on? I heard something about that but no idea what it does. I don't seem to have any problem conceiving, just a few dodgy eggs it seems.

fackinell I'm so sorry you are going through this. Please come and join the recurrent miscarriage thread if you would like some company. Were you referred for tests or have you just had some blood drawn by GP or MW? I'd agree with coco that you should pursue a referral. They are v quick to say it's your age, there are women on the RMC thread in their early 30s who have had that line trotted out.
I've had 3MC in the last 18 months and one further back in 2009, standard tests after the second recent one were normal and we were told to try again, lost an embryo at 8-9 weeks that was genetically tested as perfect, then pursued immune testing privately, got a diagnosis and I'm 20 weeks pregnant.
I'm not clear whether your third MC is current or happened a while ago, but if you get a chance I'd really encourage you to get the embryo tested, there's a big difference between losses due to chromosome problems and maternal factors making you lose potentially good embryos.

Sorry, should have said I'm 39.

Thanks bakingtins.
Congratulations!

I'm in the process of losing #3. It was EPAC that referred me for testing for genetics, (DP tested too) Lupus, sticky blood etc. 6 tests in all. What can immune issues be? I did have an appointment with a consultant but EPAC changed it to a scan as I got pregnant again. I will have a wander over to the thread you are talking about, thank you for the invite.

In my case raised levels of uterine NK cells which causes implantation failure. It's not generally tested on the NHS. If you want to find out more there is a thread on the conception board called "TTC or pregnant on pred".
Even if you and DH have been checked for normal karyotyped try to get this pregnancy genetically tested, most abnormalities arise spontaneously from dodgy egg or sperm or in early cell division, not carried by the parents. I had to catch bits in a sieve to get the material to test but it was worth it

I actually said to DP yesterday that I'm going to have to pee in a sieve! Yes, #1 would have been perfect test material as it was large and intact. Unfortunately as a novice I just put it down the toilet as I didn't know what to do! Feel very silly for that now.

#2 I had expected the same, so paid no attention to a large clot. This time I will try and catch it. The full on bleeding and cramps haven't started yet, yesterday afternoon was crampy with bright red blood but no clots. My other pg symptoms have gone so its only a matter of time now.

I'm staying upbeat, I knew the risks were high at my age. I feel wary of going on MC threads as for some women it's an all consuming ache to have a child. I'm very philosophical as I have a great job, fantastic DP and family and just kind of think that I can't expect everything to go my way. It would be wonderful to be a mother and although I have huge empathy for anyone else going through this, I don't know how helpful my 'chipper' approach would be to others.

They wouldn't have tested it first time anyway. There are doctors (mainly in America where people are paying customers) that advocate genetic testing in a first miscarriage to quickly distinguish the 'unlucky' chromosome abnormalities from women who have a problem, but it will never happen here just on a cost basis, and in truth the vast majority of women who miscarry will be fine next time.
We manage to keep fairly chipper on the MC threads so however you choose to deal with it is fine. There is lots of hope knocking about even in the midst of it all.

Hi there,
After 7 miscarriages, 5 over the last 5 years I had my baby at 42 almost 43.

We had stopped trying, given up hope and I was undergoing counselling to get my head round it.
I had the contraceptive pill in my bag waiting for my period to show up after MC number 7.

Is that hope enough for you?

Oh and I was told it was probably poor egg quality by the reoccurring miscarriage clinic.

My poor quality egg was walking at 9 months and removing child locks from my cupboards with ease the same week.

They told me that they do not know the cause of 80% of all miscarriages. Tis much guess work in fact.

Thanks baking tins
I have actually stopped bleeding and cramping now, but my other symptoms are leaving. I'll wait a few days and test again. I shall definitely go over for a look then and will check out getting an app about my immune system.

JimJack that's definitely encouraging!

Seven losses must have really knocked the stuffing out of you! I found a chart on egg count and it looks like one in 10 at this age are good. We seem to get PG ok so if this one does 'leave the building' we shall just crack on.

So sorry this has happened to you.

I had my three miscarriages aged 28, 34 and 34 again.

I then had 2 DCs in quick succession with no trouble at all. I then had a surprise pregnancy (which I was sure would end in m/c but it didn't) and had another DC aged 43.

The funny thing is that when I had had my m/cs I thought it was because I was too old! If you had told me that I would have an unplanned one at 43 I would have laughed in your face. Actually, I might have punched you in the face!

I have no idea why I had trouble when younger and not when older. I expect the m/c were not down to anything in particular and were just bad luck.

I am wary of posting my story on threads like these, I hated being told "well my Mum had SIX miscarriages and went on to have four children" when I was heartbroken. I also remember a stinging quote I once read: "Your good fortune does not affect my experience." But you did ask for hopeful stories.

(Oh and my Mum's two maternal grandmothers both had babies at 48!)

Wishing you all the best

Gooooood!!
I used to tell folk that my oven is broken so my buns don't bake!

I just got on with my shit really. I'm not one to dwell for too long.

Counselling was a bit of an eye opener as I've never done that kind of thing before but I needed to end the whole baby making chapter and get on with something else.
The counselling lady & me had a little cry & hug when I told her I wouldn't need to come any more as I was having a real live baby!

I believe that everything happens for a reason. I do not know the reasons for most things, but I know that I would not now have my squidgy little fella had I not had all of those losses.

Slayer, yes, good stories are exactly what I asked for. Just goes to show you can never say never.

JimJack, 48?! Dear God I think I'd faint
I am a fatalist too and wondering about the timing. Maybe the universe has different plans for me right now.

Fackinell - sorry to read of your losses and I wish you all the best for the future. Your thread has pulled up some great stories, though and I hope you have a similar happy ending (also hope I do at 43 ).

Thank you resipsa, FX for both of us.