Struggling so much today

[Sammc1878]

Hi ladies not been on here since Dec just after my mmc op -I am finding today very hard- I lost my third baby having a mmc end of November and still have yet to have a period - I've had some other health problems and suffer health anxiety and have had to have an MRI scan - waiting for my results I had to sit in my GP's during their midwife clinic and there were healthy pregnant ladies everywhere. I then found out I needed another scan in six months to monitor bloods liver leisions which I keep getting told not to worry about and I had to have bloods done yesterday to reassure me which left me low yesterday as I'm stressing out even though my husband and go keep telling me not too. Feeling low yesterday after having to fast and have bloods done I had to listen to my male colleague talk all day about his new born baby girl, my best friend in work text me and had her baby girl last night (which I am so pleased about) but then today find out my other friend is pregnant and due month after me (via Facebook) and her and my other friend who is due May are having chats about being sick etc. the other friend knew I was pregnant and having weekly scans due to my past - still hasn't asked how any of those scans have gone and has not even enquirer about the baby but knows through a friend of my SIL that I lost the baby but felt fit to send me a text before christmas that at her 20 week scan he is having a boy. I was doing so good this time last year training for a half marathon and putting my anxiety and fact I would probably never be a mum to try and make my life something different but it's all fell apart since loosing this baby. My anxiety got worse as my first pregnancy was an ectopic and this made my health anxiety what it is today. I feel useless and miserable all the time and feel sorry I can't give my husband a family. Sorry for the long post but today is too much x

[bakingtins]

Sam so sorry you are having a tough day. It sounds like you have an awful lot to deal with on top of your MMC still being very recent. It's very hard when everyone around you is merrily popping 'em out without a care in the world.
Does your planned scan in 6 months mean an enforced break from TTC? It might make you feel more positive if you could use that time to have recurrent miscarriage investigations too. We have been round and round the argument about whether we should give up or try again, and having investigations helped us make the decision - just having the information on whether there was an identifiable problem and what we could do about it, and a realistic view of our chances with treatment, plus a break of a few months to recharge our batteries, meant we were ready to try again.
If you want to ask about testing come and post on the RMC thread, you'd be very welcome.

[Forester]

You have my sympathies. I'm finding it difficult having had two MMC's in the last year but I also know that I'm very lucky as I have a DD - so to be going through what you are going through for a first baby is especially tough.

I hope 2014 is a much better year for you.

[Sammc1878]

Baking tins thank for replying - I was suppose to have scan in November and it was put off due to getting pregnant - till January as this would have been the first three months done and an MRI is safe after that. I am seeing my GP Wednesday so will ask the question about TCC but to be honest after 1 ectopic and 2 mmc , and I am 42 in May I'm sort of thinking I don't want to try again :( also the leisions I have although I keep getting told not to worry (but as I suffer from health anxiety can't help it!) can grow in pregnancy I'm sort of feeling I don't get a say in the matter anyway:(
Forester sorry to hear about your loss and I too hope it's a better year this year x