miscarriage treatment unhelpful

[debz6108]

I have to say the treatment I've had since my miscarriage begun has been very unhelpful. Due to mild bleeding I went for a scan on tuesday and the embryo was not present I was told either I was only 5 weeks instead of 7 or I had an incomplete miscarriage I was told to return for another can next week. Meanwhile the bleeding continued and today I passed a lump of tissue. I phoned my GP and was told by the receptionist who spoke to the duty doctor to go to A&E at my local hospital as I'm quite far from that hospital I contacted the hospital where I had the scan which is close to where I am. I was then told off by the nurse for not going to hospital when the bleeding started and for going to work but previously I was told to carry on as normal as long as the bleeding wasn't heavier than a period, so this what I did. She put me onto another nurse who checked with a doctor and said I should come tomorrow for a scan to check all the tissue has passed. So I will do that. Now I'm just more upset and confused, questioning whether I should have gone to A&E or not. I'm still bleeding but since passing the tissue I no longer have cramps and feel a lot better physically. Can anyone identify with this or have any advice?

Poor you, you must be feeling not merely miserable but also confused. Not what you need at all at the moment.

I think the 'come back for a scan next week' is pretty normal - certainly it's what happened to me. They do it just in case the dates are wrong.

But as for the rest, no one seems to have a clue. From my own experience, I think that there's not a lot that A&E could do for you unless you are bleeding very heavily, so suspect that your doctor and nurse may just be over-cautious. I was told only to ring the hospital if I was filling more than two sanitary pads an hour (!).

Just make sure you look after yourself and take care.

hiya debz so sorry you are going through this.
i can totally relate to the unhelpful nhs!! although my story is a bit different i was still treated appallingly.
at 7.5 weeks pg i collapsed at work with pains and bleeding i went straight to the epu where i had been previously to have s can tomake things were ok as i had a small bleed at 6 weeks.
when i arrived i was in a state obviously because i thought i was losing my baby and i did a urine test which still showed i was pregnant. the doctor said as i had a scan last week and there was nothing to see as the pregnancy was so early on there was no point in scanning again and to come back in a week..so i said to her you cant tell me if i have m/c? she replied no not until a weeks time.
when i went back a week later i was told everything was fine and saw babies heart beating.
at 12 weeks i blead extremely heavy but with no pain so i booked in at my doctors and they sent me to the hopsital (this was on a wednesday)..there i had a scan and it showed the baby had died at 8 weeks just after my previous scan. after hearing this news i was devastated but the doctor said i need to decide what i want to do..i decided to go for the pill to enduce a m/c on the friday and i sat there while they telephoned the ward and booked me in and i was told if i had any other problems go straight to ward 34.
the following day the pain was worse and that evening unbearable...but i then realised i was m/c and collected the large pieces of tissue and phoned ward 34. the nurse on the phone told me there is nothing she could do and if i thought it was absolutely neccessary to go to a & e. a few hours later i was shivering and bleading very very heavy and my friend took me to a&e. i got seen my a nurse and she took my blood pressure and then told me to sit back down because there was nothing she could do and she would call ward 34 when she had time and that this was a complete waste of her time dealing with this case. i was shocked but sat back down hoping it wouldnt be long. i was there for 4 hours soaked in blood it was so humiliating and in the end i couldnt take it and went home and just thought id go for my appointment the following morning for my induced m/c and explain the situation then.
when i got there they didnt have my notes and shuved me in a room for an hour..then the nurse came and said what EXACTLY do i think im here for. i told her and with a big tut and sigh she said well i suppose im going to have to go and track down your notes.
after 2 hours of waiting i got sent back down to the epu where i had a scan and told my m/c is complete. i was told the pain will last 2-3 days and bleeding will stop in 2 weeks.
5 days later the pain was worse as was the bleeding so i phoned the epu and explained my concern of an infection, she said to me dont be silly you wont have an infection yet...2 days later couldnt even stand up for 5 minutes so went to see my doc and she was disgusted and prescribed me 2 lots of antibiotics and said that if i am not better in 48 hours to go straight to a&e as its not somthing you can wait around on.
here i am 3 weeks later much better physically but emotionally the whole experience has drained me. this type of treatment is the last thing you need after the loss of your baby. i can totally relate to you and i hope life gets a lot better for you soon. i would go for your scan and see what they say. let me know how it all goes. i had 3 lots of bleeding throughout mine and 2 times it was confirmed the baby was fine so dont give up hope yet apparently it is very common to bleed when pg.

Thanks twocatsonthebed I read your message at work and it really put my mind at ease about deciding not to rush straight to A&E. As the bleeding is not heavy enough to be alarmed, so I will go back tomorrow for a scan although they haven't confirmed if they can fit me in at that hospital but if not I'll go to the a&e close to my home.

Hi desperate2bmum thanks for sharing your story with me. I'm so sorry about all you have been through it sounds terrible. I'm glad to hear you are better physically, I hope you get better emotionally soon. Its so sad that after having gone through such a terrible experience the people who are supposed to provide us with care make us feel a 100 times worse. I know they deal with things like this every day and it becomes routine to them but it doesn't excuse their behaviour, if anything they should be more sensitive to our needs and more clear about what to do. On the one hand they tell you there is nothing they can do and to get on with it and on the other, as they did with me today, they shout at you for not going straight to hospital. Luckily I now have the direct line of the supervising nurse who has been much more supportive and is trying to arrange an appointment for me to have a scan tomorrow afternoon. I'll let you know how it goes, I'm sure after passing tissue today I have miscarried but am not sure if the miscarriage is complete and whether they will suggest I need to have a d&c, I hope I won't need to. Physically I feel a lot better, from the moment I passed the tissue the extremely painful cramps I had have more or less gone, but like you said its the emotional side thats even harder to deal with.

I had the scan a couple of hours ago and it showed that I've had a complete miscarriage. I thought I would be upset and crying again but actually just feel really numb and unable to cry. I'm also afraid about the future as it took me so long to conceive, and before I got pregnant the specialist wanted to do tests to ensure when I did get pregnant I would be able to carry the pregnancy, but I was told I could keep trying in the meantime. After waiting a long time to get pregnant I was so happy to be pregnant I never even envisaged I'd have a miscarriage. Well at least now I know I am able to conceive.

I have to say the treatment I had today was really good I had the scan in a different department dedicated to early pregnancies, where I was treated much better and the consultant nurse was really good to me. If only it was always like that.

So sorry

The furture may well be fine yet. I had problems concieving, although never had any tests at that time. It took me 15 months to become pregnant the first time, only for it to sadly end in a(complete) miscarriage at 7 weeks. I did concieve again, although it did take me a long time again 14/15 months from the end of that first pregnancy. I guess I could have had tests and these might, or might not, have helped. I don't know. Anyway thats eocnd pregnancy went really well. With the second pregnancy I had sickness from the very start (4 weeks or so), but once that went away at 4 months, the rest was plain sailing and resulted in a very healthy little girl who is now 4 years old.

Good luck for the future.

oh debz im so sorry, but atleast it is complete and you shouldnt have to have any furtrher treatment.
maybe go and see your doctor now and explain to him how long it takes you to get pregnant and maybe start the ball rolling on the tests again? he may be able to help things speed along a bit.
im glad the staff treated you how you should have been treated. it does get easier.

debz - I'm so sorry, take care of yourself. There should be lots of support on here for you, take advantage of it.

desperate2bmum - I am gobsmacked at your treatment - completely and utterly appalling. what hospital was it? And can you face making a complaint - I feel all shivery thinking of anyone being treated like you were.

Thank you for your kind wishes.

I'm so happy things worked out for you in the end. Thanks for sharing your story its very comforting and reassuring.

the hospital i went to was the L & D.
i think when i was told the news i was just in shock for a few days and the treatment just didnt register with me...but looking back it is terrible but my dp has had experiences like this also.
i will be doing my best not to return to the hospital with hopefully a future pregnancy.
debz i wish you all the luck in the future xx

Thanks desperate2bmum I've decided to keep my appointment with the fertility specialist later this month.
I wish you all the best with the future and hope things work out how you want them to xXx .

MrsJohnCusack - I have had so much support from mumsnet throughout this whole experience. I'm so grateful for this support as I hadn't told my friends and family I was pregnant so I haven't had anyone else other than my husband to confide in, but everyone I've exchanged messages with on mumsnet and reading other discussions have helped more than I can say. Thanks everyone

i echo debz what you are saying. its great for channeling your emotions and to talk to people who know exactly how you are feeling which in some ways is better than family as friends as although they try to help they dont know EXACTLY what you are going through. im so glad i stumbled upon this site. i am on the ttc after m/c thread debz so keep in touch and let me know how life pans out for you

I hadn't noticed that thread, I'll keep in touch and let you know how things are going. I only found this website by chance a couple of weeks ago and like you am very gald I did.