Hi
I've been a lurker for years and never posted until now, but I'm hoping someone can help me feel less sad.
I've got a 2 year old DS, and been ttc number 2 for a while. I had a medically managed miscarriage back in May, my baby stopped growing at 6 weeks but my body didn't want to let go. After 4 long cycles I fell pg again a few weeks ago. I got a positive pregnancy test on the Wednesday and by Monday I was cramping and bleeding, blood tests confirmed that I miscarried again. I had a week off work and went back this week but I'm just not coping!
I have been in tears and just feel like I have a huge hole in my heart all the time. All of my friends are expecting or have just had their second and I feel like I have no one to talk to. DH is great and has been very supportive but I feel like everyone thinks I should be ok now. I know they're trying to help but I keep getting told to be happy for what I have. And I am, but I'm so sad for what I have lost.
Sorry this is a huge post, but I really don't have anyone to talk to who understands. I'm also petrified of trying again, I'm so desperate to be pg, but so scared there's something wrong with me and I'll loose another. How do people move on when they feel like this? I'm being a horrible shouty mum to DS and I hate myself for it.