miscarriage questions

[HootShoot]

Hi all

I was pregnant with my second and should have been 8+3. I started spotting on Saturday, by the evening I had fresh blood when wiping and was cramping all night. Everything went quiet from Sunday and I didnt really have much more bleeding until today, only old blood when wiping and on a liner. This morning I had quite a big bleed and needed to start wearing a pad.

I had booked a private scan as I couldn't bear being told to wait and see again by midwives. The scan showed a misshapen sac, two yolks but no fetal pole. The lady told me the fetus may have already passed or might never have been there. The sac was measuring 7 weeks - if there had never been a baby why would the sac have grown? I find it almost more upsetting to think the baby was never there, it makes me feel like my pregnancy symptoms weren't real or made up. She said I had had a partial miscarriage and she set up an appointment for me to go to the EPU on Thursday morning.

I'm now bleeding quite heavily, I've passed two very large clots and have had to change my pad three times in the last hour and a half. The lady who did my scan said if the bleeding got heavy I should go to A&E but surely nature is just taking it's course? Are there any dangers I should look out for? Also what should I expect on Thursday. Will I have to have treatment or will it just be a consultation?

I forgot to add that the scan showed my cervix is open if that helps.

Hi HootSHoot
It's terrible, and very sad, and I went through similar at 11+4. The sac does continue to grow even if there is no fetus, but probably due to hormones. I can't think why else. I felt very pregnant up until then...all the usual symptoms....but in A&E all they could do was a scan using an old scanner (as it was a Sunday) that didn't give a clear picture, but they said they weren't sure there was a fetal pole. I still don't know if there was ever a fetus (albeit very small).
I miscarried that day and ended up back in A&E due to blood loss, which seemed relentless....and I was put on a drip. I was given no other "treatment" for the miscarriage, though the choices of medical management and surgery were offered. I chose to let things happen naturally.
I think anaemia, dehydration and fainting may be the main reasons you might want to go to A&E. If you get severe pain and flu like symptoms after a week or so then there's a possibility there may be an infection. In this case they'd give you antibiotics.
The appointmemt may just be a scan to check how things are progressing. They may offer to book you in for surgery, or they may be happy to let nature take its course.
I had 3 scans over 2 weeks and there were some clots remaining by the second scan but i chose to wait it out, and by the 3rd scan there was some remaining blood but no clots so I was fine to leave things as they were.
Every person and their experience is different. I would say that if you end up feeling like you are passing out, call an ambulance, but otherwise if you can get to A&E it is worth being checked over, especially if you are going through a pad every half hour. If the blood flow has slowed down and you are not in severe pain then maybe wait it out at home (which was the advice given to me by a community midwife).

x

Hi Ruggle, I'm so sorry you've been through this too. The sack being empty is so confusing. I felt pregnant, daydreamed about a baby that maybe was never there. I worried about if I could love them like I loved my dd and the impact it would have on her and then felt guilty for feeling like that.

Thank you for sharing what happened with you. I have passed a few more clots and the bleeding seems to have slowed down. Hopefully the worst is over now and I won't need to go to A&E, don't think I can face that. The pain has lessened too so I hope I can wait it out at home.

Are there any benefits in terms of letting nature play out versus medical interventions?

I think it's just personal preference as long as the miscarriage eventually completes. If you end up retaining tissue for a long time it can lead to infection, and so some people might choose surgery to avoid that complication, however surgery itself can also lead to infection.

Also, some women don't start to miscarry until several weeks after confirmation of no heartbeat, and so they may choose medical management or surgery rather than wait for their bodies to realise the pregnancy has failed.

I feel in a way that I was lucky that I started to miscarry before I made it to my first scan as I think it would have been worse to find out there was no heartbeat or indeed no fetus and then have to carry around that knowledge and continue having pregnancy symptoms for several weeks. I personally wouldn't have opted for medical intervention in that situation though, unless absolutely necessary.

Our bodies are designed to deal with miscarriage and birth and they generally cope (at least physically) very well without medical intervention. It is important to have scans at regular intervals though to check that everything is happening as it should.

I passed most of the tissue and clots over two days but had pain on and off for over a week, until I passed the last two large clots, and then everything settled down and I stopped bleeding by the end of the second week. No complications. It was the best choice for me, though I can understand how some women would prefer to bypass the "nature taking its course" bit and get on with their lives sooner. I'm not sure whether a person bleeds for less time or more after surgery.

I think (though I may be wrong) that "medical management" is given to speed up an impending miscarriage that hasn't yet started, but I think once the miscarriage has been established and the cervix is already open then it's not a necessary step.

If you do feel you can do this naturally then make sure you tell the nurses/doc at the EPU, otherwise they may try pushing you to have surgery and make you feel that it is necessary, when actually it isn't, in (I suspect) most cases.

Thank you again, that is all such useful information, so from what you are saying it seems that as my miscarriage has already started it may be best to let nature take its course. I agree with everything you say about our bodies dealing with pregnancy and although I've never had to think miscarriage in that way I guess the same applies. I think if I hadn't started to miscarry already I might opt for medical help because I don't know if I could have waited that long, but it feels like that decision has been made for me, unless my body doesn't do what it should. Does any of that make sense? My head is all over the place.

Hi there hoot shoot, I'm not sure if you are still here but I was a bit worried by what you said about getting through 3 pad an hour. In my copy of 'what to expect' it says that this might be a reason to go to a&e, although i guess it depends which pad you are using. i'm also 8+2 wks and using maternity pads about one an hour right now. Maybe you should call your gp or ePu in the morning if its still that heavy, just for reassurance.
Ps this is my first m/c so I'm a complete novice and don't want to worry you.
Good luck!

I'm so sorry hoot, there is a very good thread on here, tips for coping with the practicalities of mc, I've bumped it for you

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/1344311-Tips-for-coping-with-the-practicalities-of-miscarriage

Hoot I'm really sorry you are going through this. Hope your bleeding has settled to a more manageable level and you are feeling physically ok.
You will probably be scanned when you go to EPU because they will want to know if the miscarriage is complete (sac passed and uterine lining below a certain depth). If it isn't then you will be given options of either giving it more time and rechecking, medical management or ERPC. I've had medical management for an incomplete natural miscarriage as it encourages the womb to contract, though it's more usually used to start off a missed miscarriage where the body has not recognised that the pregnancy has ended. You should also have some follow up arranged to check that your HCG falls to zero over the next few weeks - may be as simple as asking you to do a HPT and contact them if it's still positive after a week or so.
The Miscarriage Association has loads of helpful information - worth a look at their site before your appointment so you are clued up on your options.

The bleeding is much better today thanks Ellsybells I passed another couple of biggish clots last night and the bleeding slowed right down. It's just like a normal period now.

Thank you for bumping and posting the link to that threadpurplefrog and littlepea I'll have a read through.

Thanks bakingtins I just feel really numb today. I've been sticking my dd in front of peppa pig a lot this week and am feeling guilty about that too. Still I guess one week won't hurt her. We were meant to go to her swimming class today but I couldn't take her because of the bleeding. I'm glad they will probably rescan me again tomorrow. It feels like I have probably passed most of it and would be good to have that confirmed. It feels horrible to say "it" but I don't really know what else to say.I will have a read of that website so I know what my options are.

I am so sorry Hoot. It's a devastating experience and you will go through different emotions. I remember going through different stages (numb, hurt, crying, angry and guilty). All of his is normal. Just remember to be kind to yourself and try to rest. I am sure your DD won't mind a bit of Peppa Pig.

I think she is more than happy with lots of Peppa! I'm just finding it hard to get motivated today. I'm feeling bad because I was horrible to my DH this morning too. He has been great, so supportive but he must have drunk a shed load last night as he couldn't get up this morning. I normally drive him to the station but he just wouldn't get up and shower. He started complaining that he was "genuinely feeling very sick" it was all alcohol related though. I lost my temper and said to him not to look for sympathy as I was the one in the middle of having a miscarriage. Not very nice on my part because i know he is hurting too

All of that is normal. I was the same. I couldn't be bothered to do anything or speak to anyone. Sometimes I would just burst into tears or get mad etc. Its like a roller-coaster! My DH was also very supportive but I used to get really snappy, angry and have a go at him for things that would not normally bother me. I would not beat yourself up too much for having a go at him. You are going through a very difficult time. Maybe speak to him tonight about it and ask him how his feeling? It really helped me when DH and I spoke and he told me how upset he was.

Everyone copes differently, just take each day as it comes.