It's shit, isn't it?

[NoNoNoMYDoIt]

That's it really.

Second time for me. Both times really early on (7 - 8 weeks).

Physically, I'm fine. Mentally - not so much.

It is shit, I just had my first miscarriage and we have no children. I am very scared, I did not prepare for this

Hmmm agree, worst experience of my life.
I've got 7 mcs behind me now. Each & every one desperately wanted.

I do believe that everything happens for a reason, I don't have a reason for my losses but know in my heart that they had to happen in order for my 2 boys to come to us.
I also know that life can throw any old shit at me now and it's fine, I will be fine, I can cope with anything now me.

I have a new degree of understanding of loss now. I have never lost anyone close to me so miscarriages are my only real experience of grief.

This wasn't a planned pregnancy. That makes it easier for me than those of you who have had recurrent miscarriages. I also have 2 kids already so my loss isn't as awful as those of you who have no kids yet. But what is awful about losing an unplanned pregnancy is that you go through all the shock and heartache at the beginning about being pregnant and what it means when it is unplanned. I knew I couldn't terminate but that doesn't mean I was ecstatic to find out I was pregnant. But after tears and anxiety about being pregnant, I knew I would continue and then a few weeks later I miscarried. I hadn't even got to the point where I was truly happy to be pregnant before I miscarried. And that feels awful. Probably making no sense.

I have to work tomorrow (from home) but I have lots of calls with people across the world. I have no idea how I will cope. I can't stop sobbing.

And every now and then I forget I'm no longer pregnant. If I have a funny feeling in my stomach; if I go to make a coffee and then stop myself (limiting caffeine) - then I remember I am not pregnant. And the wave of sorrow hits again.

It's so rubbish, I feel so sad. Even though I'm beginning to feel more myself I still want to be and feel pregnant. It's such a miracle to become pregnant in the first place, I feel like it could never happen so easily again.

I was so worried about having a mc that I never shared my happy (or sad) news. It hurts so much more when friends ask if I'm trying for a baby or do I want children etc etc when I was pregnant all along but now in not.

Oh I know how you feel. I had told no one either because it wasn't planned and the circumstances were difficult. And of course I see pregnant women everywhere. I got in the lift at the hospital after having the miscarriage diagnosed and a heavily pregnant woman got in on the next floor in a dressing gown. To go outside and have a smoke.

Sending you lots of love. Also had 2 miscarriages now, it truly is pants, a load of my friends ave recently given birth, many around the same time as I would have done after my first miscarriage. It is hard seeing the pictures. There is lots of support here and lots of women going through the same thing, hope you can find some comfort on these boards x

Yep totally I had the d c on thurs 2nd m.c physically I ache and had thought to return to work, emotionally not so much.

It's shit yes.

Oh I am so sorry to hear so many of you the same

I now have water infection to add to my woes. Horse pill sized antibiotics.

NoNoNo - just reaching out with sympathy and lots of empathy, as know so much of how you're feeling and what you're going through.

I too had my second MC in a row back in July/August. First one at 7 weeks in May; second one was about 8.5 weeks- a MMC so i only found out at dating scan. I too already have two kids (aged 5 and 7). I was ambivalent about first pregnancy that MC'd (we took forever to decide to have 3); then realised after first MC that really wanted one and couldn't believe it when I got PG again so quick. But then that one MC'd too.

Anyway, all I can say is whether it's a PG you've been trying for for years, or whether it's a 'happy accident' - that's no predictor of how your'e going to feel when you miscarry. The loss is very hard - because it's not like any other. I lost my dad when I was quite young and it was awful, of course, but everyone around me knew it was awful - and me and my siblings were in the same boat and you draw so much comfort from those around you and from the symapthy you get etc etc. Miscarriage is a very lonely thing. a) either people don't know or b) if they do know, most expect you to get over it very quickly or don't really want to dwell on it - after all, they happen all the time, right??

On the practical side, you need to let yourself grieve - I spent so much energy trying to STOP myself crying and trying to carry on as if not that much had happened. Which was stupid as I just exhausted myself and then collapsed crying every evening when the kids were in bed. Also, your hormones are all over the place right now which doesn't help.

Anyway, I just want you to know that I'm sending so much sympathy. I know what you mean about seeing all those pregnancy women. They were everywhere after I MC'd. Still are! And families with 3 kids - suddenly they all came out of the woodwork too....

Hang in there. Take care. Don't make yourself do too much - it's still so raw for you right now. MMx

Thanks MM and I am so sorry you are going through this too.

I have turned to retail therapy and bought a new car, a new toaster and a new kettle. I still feel shit.

Yes it is shit. The most awful thing ever to happen to anyone. Never realised how much pain - emotional and physical there could be til I am now in process right now..first baby and aged 43 so scary as to whether I even have much more opp due to ticking body clock. ah.........

Hey Luisa - so sorry you're going through this as well. Sending you sympathy and empathetic hugs. how far along were you?

That was an impressive bit of retail therapy NoNo. I also tried some retail therapy but a pair of shoes and a top was my limit. I've also never been so aware of every single pushchair in a shopping centre before.

Luisa one positive thing to think about is that a pregnancy - even one that ends in MC - boosts your fertility.

I'm just going to add this moan here, I know it's nothing in the grand scheme of things - I think my hormones must be all over the place as I'm taking this stupidly badly.

Yesterday I got the all clear that my mc had finished and I'd been discharged. I felt I'd got off lightly compared to many of your stories and wanted to stop moping and get myself up & about. So although money is tight I decided to book me and DP into our favourite hotel for the night. Mum took DS overnight and we had a lovely evening with room service and wine. We couldn't wait to have a lie-in, as DS still wakes at 6am.

At about 3am I woke and -sorry TMI - I had about three hours on the loo with diarheea -sorry TMI. I remember reading on here that post-mc your immunity can be low and susceptible to bugs. THEN TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE from the bathroom all I could here was the couple next door shagging!!! Loudly. And for HOURS. It was like they were in the room. Obv DP slept through the whole thing.

So not only did I get a lovely sleep & lie-in, not get that lovely relaxed feeling but also now I can't enjoy the full English breakfast I was so looking forward to!!!

I had a good, pathetic cry and I'm sure I'll look back and find it funny. I know it's not really a big deal but I can't believe my rotten luck!

Sorry - just wanted to get that off my chest :)

It really is shit.

Ah Hessy, I'm so sorry to hear this as that sounded like such a good plan of yours. Are you feeling any better now? Maybe all this goes on for much longer than we realise? We will get through this. We've got to. It helps me knowing you and other women are out there too -really getting how horrendous and traumatic this process is. Take lotsa care. xx

MabelMay - 12 weeks.....awful. was supposed to be the happy week I was counting the days to.....but instead the worst week of our lives together. we are just coming up to our first year anniversary married x

Forrester - thanks for that. I didn't know that. x

My belly is still very swollen and getting occasional sharp pains. Is this normal? I look pregnant. Want the bump to go as too many reminders eh?

I've had similar experiences (but years ago)

TTC DC2 - I was late, DH said to me to buy a test. I said I'd pop into the latenight Pharmacy after I'd dropped him off at nightschool (he had an exam)
Before we left I went to the loo and..... well I didn't need the test but I didn't tell DH till after his exam.

A few months later, I had a BFP after waiting a week or so after my due on date . Day after testing , it was over.
Next month, another BFP (I waited to test), I was maybe 7 weeks when I had cramps. Went shopping late night (well nothing was going to alter so I might as well go to the Supermarket)
There was a very pg woman . I felt irrational rage to her and her belly.
Next morning, very heavy 'period'.

After 3 months, I concieved DD . Not plain sailing, I had a car accident when she was a 20 week bump, but she's now a strapping 11yo.

It is shit.
I think in my mothers time there were no home tests, it was usually 12 weeks before it was confirmed.
I'm sure early MC happened just not recognised as such.

Hi all, I'm in hospital at moment having a m/c. Admitted yesterday with suspect ectopic but think its not now. Been bleeding heavily since 5am.

This is my 3rd m/c.

Had 2 m/cs 6 years ago, then my two beautiful boys and now this.

Desperately want to be pg again but I'm 41 with a history of IF so it's unlikely.

So agree about how lonely it feels x

Thank you Angus x

Passed a lot of blood & tissue today so hoping its all over and I can go home tomorrow.

My first 2 m/cs were D&C so losing all the blood and tissue this time was v disturbing.

Yes, physically hope it's done. As we all know on here the mental scars take so much longer x